'Allo, 'allo! I'm the March 'Are! And this is my top ten lis' of the bloodies' insane things!
All righ' then! Lets kick it off with nummer ten...
10. Mimes. Ain't they jus' ruddy stupid? They don' talk, they jus' stand 'round and pretend to be doin' sumtin'! 9. Romance movies. Dang is that crap borin'! Makes no sense, if ya ask me! 8. Weird Al Yankovic. Now, don' get me wrong, 'e's good an' all, but 'e's jus' insane! 7. People 'oo are addicted to Lord o' the Rings. It's jus' a book/movie! 'Tis not real, elves an' all. 6. Internet datin' services. 'Ow do you know that's actually a real piccy of them? 5. People 'oo are addicted to 'Arry Potter. There's no 'Ogwarts, it's all jus' a fantasy! 4. Freeform Jazz. There's no melody or 'armony at all! That bloody crap ain't music, it's jus' a bunch o' notes thrown together! 3. All these ruddy law shows. We're jus' enabling criminals to become better criminals! We're pointin' out their mistakes! 2. Reality Telly. 'Tis bloody cruel what some o' these shows are doin' to people. 'Tis goin' to far, if ya ask me. An', finally... 1. Michael Jackson Nuff said.