"I can’t believe you made me do that." Jana said when they got back to the hotel.

"Stop complaining about it damn it wasn’t that bad. This is a vacation not a sexcation." He laughed. "Yeah I did."

Jana rolled her eyes and then turned around walking into the bathroom slamming the door.

"I’ll be waiting for you." He said before she slammed the door.

Jana leaned against the sink as she stared at herself in the mirror. Sighing she turned to sit down on the toilet. Jana had never been much on looking in the mirror much for pampering or primping herself. She just didn’t like to look at herself, because she never did like who staring back at her.

Jana put her head in her hands letting her fingers massage her temples as she stared at the floor, a million thoughts running through her head a mile a minute. She should just go out there and tell Nick that she doesn’t want another baby, but she didn’t or she wouldn’t.

Jana got up slowly and stared at herself again almost disgusted with her reflection. She grabbed her make up bag and dug to the bottom to find the little pink case. She opened it and stared at the pills for a few minutes. Part of her brain was yelling at her not to do it, it was dishonest and if didn’t ruin her marriage it would definitely hurt it badly. Then the other part was telling her to do it until she got enough courage to tell Nick the truth.

Sighing she took a pill out and swallowed it. She put the birth control case back at the bottom of her make up bag. She rinsed her face with water before she walked out of the bathroom.

Nick was lying on the bed in his boxers watching TV. Jana stared at him, immediately she started to feel bad about taking the pill. She pushed those thoughts out of her mind when he looked over at her smirking.

"Hey." He said softly.

She smiled as she got on the bed and laid next to him. She snuggled closer to him, putting her head on his chest.

He put his arm behind her pulling her closer. "You ok?" He asked as he kissed her forehead.

"Yeah, I’m fine." She said sighing.

"Hey how are the kids?" Jana asked Nikki that night while Nick was sleeping in the room while she sat outside the door in the hallway.

"They are fine, sleeping."

"Good." Jana said sighing.

"What’s up? Where’s your sex toy?"

Jana laughed and said, "I wore him out."

"No details thanks. Seriously though what’s up? You wouldn’t have called unless something was bothering you."

"I’m feeling guilty." Jana said shrugging.

"What about?"

"Well Nick told me he wanted more kids and well you know me I don’t want more and I told him that but somehow he still got the idea of having another baby. And I didn’t really say anything because I just can’t, so I decided I’ll just get back on my birth control pills until I can tell him."

"Jana are you not happy with him or something?"

"What? Why would you ask that? Of course I’m happy with him."

"It sure as hell doesn’t seem like it, you keep doing shit that could fuck it up."

"What are you talking about?"

"Where should I start? First, you cheat on him god only knows why. Because if you compare Shawn and Nick, Nick definitely comes out on top, then you don’t tell him after he confessed that he had an accidental fling with a girl one drunken night. Instead you make him grovel and feel like shit for months and you don’t even feel the need to mention you’re like thing with Shawn. Then you get pregnant and you’re not sure who the father is, but if you would have told him about the little fling then he would have known that too huh? But you didn’t so you kept that from him too. Now, for some god awful reason he wants to have a house full of kids and you don’t tell him what you’re feelings really are about having another baby, hell you didn’t even tell him that you didn’t want the baby when you first got pregnant. So you go behind his back and take your fucking birth control pills until you can find a way to tell him. Once again you cop out of something. Sometimes I wonder if you are truly happy because if you were you wouldn’t do all this shit, that could totally fuck up your marriage if he found out. Because you know he loves you more than anything and if you would have told him these things in the first place he would have, more than likely, forgiven you but you kept it from him. It’s going to hurt him a whole hell of a lot more than it would have before and he may not forgive you. You know it’s inevitable that your secrets will come out sooner or later. Don’t you?"

Jana was quietly crying on the other end. Leave it to Nikki to tell her how it is, tell her everything she was thinking and make her think about it.

"Jana?"

Jana sighed and hung up. She pulled her knees closer to her chest and laid her face down on them as she cried silently.

Nikki stared at the phone dumbfounded Jana hung up on her and she couldn’t believe the things that she was saying. She had wanted to say those things for the longest time. She was tired of Jana’s bullshit, Nick was incredible and Jana just didn’t seem to recognize it anymore.

Nikki dialed Jana’s cell phone number again and waited for Jana to pick up. She knew better though, she could see Jana wherever she was all curled up in a ball crying her eyes out because Nikki had spoke the truth.

Jana’s voicemail picked up. "Jana, I can see you now wherever you are crying your eyes out because you know I’m right. Nick will find out all your little secrets and shit and you know he won’t be able to forgive you. But I bet he’ll try at first, because well he slept with another girl and you slept with Shawn he told you but you didn’t tell him. You two did the same thing so that might not be as bad. But not telling him that you didn’t know he was the father when you were pregnant, that’ll hurt along with the fact that you DIDN’T WANT THE BABY! That one might hurt more than any of them. But I’m not sure because lying to him or wait not telling him how you fucking feel about another baby instead you decide to make sure you don’t get pregnant by taking your birth control pills again. If you ever decided to write a book again, you can and name it great ways to fuck up a perfectly amazing marriage. Because I think you know how to do that well, and you can hate me all you want for saying all this shit, but damn it you don’t see how amazing Nick is. How lucky you are to have him. You’re so fucking lucky and it pisses me off that you don’t see how wonderful he is. You just treat it like shit, that’s how I see it. And I’m telling you how I see it; for once I’m letting it out. Most of the time when your bitching about something I sit back and listen but it’s my turn to bitch-." The voice mail cut her off.

"That’s good enough god I shouldn’t have sent that, that’s horrible I don’t really mean all that shit." Nikki said suddenly feeling horrible.

Nick rolled over and felt nothing. He slowly opened his eyes and tried to look around the dark room. He got up wrapping the sheet around his waist as he searched the hotel room. Confused he walked over to the door and opened it to look up and down the hall. There she was sitting up against the wall knees to her chest and her head resting on her lap, sleeping.

He smiled as he tried to pick her up and keep the sheet around him. Finally, succeeding he laid her down on the bed and covered her up. He walked back over to the door to close it when he saw her cell phone laying there, he picked it up when it beeped that there was a new voicemail message.

He closed the door still looking at the phone debating on whether he should listen to it or go back to bed. Finally, he decided to listen to it letting curiosity get the best of him. He walked into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet after he closed the door quietly.

He pressed the button to listen to the message it was Nikki. And she sounded pissed she was ranting on and on. The message ended and Nick sat there shocked, hurt, angry, but most of all in disbelief. He didn’t want to believe any of it, it couldn’t be. Jana cheated on him with Shawn? She didn’t want Trenton at first? She didn’t know he was going to be the father? Most of all she started to take her birth control pills again because she didn’t want another baby? All these things didn’t sound like the Jana he knew; guess he didn’t know her like he thought. Nick couldn’t believe it, and he couldn’t believe the tears that started to fall down his cheeks. He never cried, he hated to cry. The last time he had cried was when Alyssa was born. Those were tears of happiness though, these were from that.

He put his head in his hands trying to control the tears and all his emotions. He didn’t know what to do; he didn’t know what to say. He wanted to yell at her. He wanted to hurt her, maker her feel as bad as he felt right at that moment. He wanted to scream. Thoughts of leaving her even ran through his head. Why did this happen to him? Why did he have to listen to that message? If he wasn’t so nosey then he wouldn’t have listened to the damn message and just went back to bed and then he wouldn’t know anything. He wished like hell he didn’t know anything. He didn’t want to deal with this; he didn’t want to think about it. Things were never going to be the same again.