Ways to Annoy People (and other ways to otherwise be a jerk)
Hum the tune to the song "This is the Song that Never Ends".
Steadfastly claim that McDonalds is the best food you have ever eaten, and despite all the scientific nutrition evidence to says otherwise, it really is healthy for you.
Turn the lights off in a public bathroom while other people are still in there.
Ask an non-pregnant woman when her baby is due (bonus points if the woman is anorexic or bulemic)
Use a pen to fill in tests on Scantron sheets, so the professors have to actually grade the tests themselves instead of having a computer do it for them. Those lazy bastards.
Give your friends nicknames that have nothing at all to do with their personality.
Push every button on an elevator.
Recites lines from movies incorrectly and a couple seconds before the movie does.
Claim to be a fan of N'sync before they "sold out".
Drive 15 mph in a busy two lane road (bonus points if you do it on a four-lane road, swerving back and forth so no one can pass).
Argue with people when they call the police jerks because they pulled someone over for going 3 miles an hour over the speed limit, but saying "They still broke the law" (the best part about this one is that you are right!).
Tell everyone in Missouri that you are a Cubs fan.
Use some big word totally out of context in a sentence.
Use the phrase "Well, you have your opinion and I have mine" when arguing.
Use common sense and actual facts when arguing with a Republican.
Walk up to a fat woman and ask when the baby is due.
Just point at laugh at someone for no real reason.
Fart in an elevator and blame it on someone else (bonus points for one that is loud AND stinky)
Proclaim to be the smartest person alive and then tell people that George W. Bush is a good president.
Piss on your neighbors flower garden every night.
Compliment a black person on their nice tan.
Tell a black person that they should get a job.
Angrily demand reparations because your great great great ancestor was a black slave (bonus points if you white).
Change the radio presets in every person's car you ride in.
Drive a hummer.
Have a bumper sticker that says "My child was an Honor Student at..."
