Last night Chad's mom called my house looking for him. His Grandpa was dieing. It made me think about when my Grandma died last year and my Great Grandma a couple years ago. I don't accept death or deal with it well. Then, this morning, his mom called to tell him that his Grandpa died last night. Chad's going to be a pallbearer and the funeral is Saturday. (he'll have to take off of Guard duty) I told Chad I shouldn't go to the funeral since it's a family thing and that he should be there for his mom. (his parents are divorced so she's kind of alone) But, if he wants me to go, I will.
I should be in class right now but I don't feel well. I don't know if it's because I need more sleep or if it's nerves. I just feel funny. Of course, I was in a hurry and couldn't find my debit card this morning. I think I lost it. (Oh great.) So I can't buy lunch.
I didn't go to class also because I was going to be late again and I've been late to class everytime. I hate walking in late with "all eyes on me." That's part of my anxiety though and the phobia I used to have.
I applied to the college that Chad's going to next fall. I already sent them my transcript. (with bad grades, that's a long story) I just have to pay the $25 application fee.
Well, the reason I have bad grades, and a low GPA right now is because last semester my mom kicked me out. I don't know if it was another drinking episode or not but she flipped out. I stayed at my uncle's house in north county and that was "far" from my school. Plus, I decided to change my major and I didn't need the classes I was in. Well, I missed the drop date by ONE DAY and I ended up with three F's. So, I'm retaking one of them right now. (the other two were criminal justice classes, what was I thinking?) I goofed basically.
September 5th, 2000
School and work again. But I didn't work all last week because of the heat so it's no big deal. boring math class today. it sucks, it's
two hours long! I have to go to my psychiatrist at one. he doesn't do anything though. he just listens for like fifteen minutes and then
gives me pills. I'd rather go to a counselor. Someone that can tell you what you need to work on, and how to change.
September 4th 2000 Labor Day
No school. No work. Yeah 
And then Chad found out he didn't have to work at the airport either. He was happy. So, we barbequed
hot dogs, bratwurst, and hamburgers. (for him) We also had corn on the cob, beans, cantelope and he had to have his cookies with
sprinkles. We didn't know what to do but it was nice out so we went and played tennis in the park. Chad's really good and he tried to
teach me but I was...um not that good. It was my first time though. I thought he looked really good playing. Like a pro. He was cute.
After that, we had ice cream and went home to watch a movie before we went to sleep. (a scary one, and i hid most of the time)
September 3rd, 2000
Chad and I drove to Illinois to meet up with my family for a get together. We saw my Grandparents and my little sister Shania.
Also, my little cousin Sam was there and my uncle Jim. Some cousins were there, my eleven year old cousin has a crush on Chad.
We just kinda sat around talking and eating. But something Chad did like; there were these guys there who build these big model
airplanes. They have little engines and a propeller, and a huge remote control. So, we drove to a field and they flew these two planes.
It was pretty cool. They even had flaps on them and did stunts. Chad's going to be a pilot so he liked them.
I found out Chad can't go to my cousin's wedding with me out of town this weekend because of the Guard. I'm pretty peeved about it. I mean, he can't help it but he knew about it. (he forgot i guess) I don't want to drive the two hours by myself and show up at the wedding alone. (look like a loser) See, one weekend a month he has to go do drill or whatever they call it for the Air National Guard. I already hate the fact that he's in it but now, I'm even more annoyed since he can't come to the wedding. But I should go anyway, Sunday is Grandparents Day. Plus, I need to give my Grandma her birthday present. I bought her an Elvis calender. She loves Elvis. This one she's never had before, one of those with a page for each day...356 pictures of Elvis....oh la la...
September 2, 2000
Chad and I went to the St. Louis County Fair and Air Show. We saw a cool air show with a stealth, a f-15, the blue angels, and so on.
It was really hot. We both ended up with a sunburn. They had really cool rides but we didn't go on them. (not for 8 tickets a person..no thanks)
There was a dog show. That was cute. Because of the heat, they had a bunch of city buses sitting with their air conditioning running
for people to sit in. Inside they had a cooler of cold water. This was a nice help. There were also, "misting stations;" tents that misted
water on you to cool off. I was wearing a little sun dress so my chest is burned. Ouch. To top it all off there was a really great fireworks
display.