September 7, 2000 Last night Chad's mom called my house looking for him. His Grandpa was dieing. It made me think about when my Grandma died last year and my Great Grandma a couple years ago. I don't accept death or deal with it well. Then, this morning, his mom called to tell him that his Grandpa died last night. Chad's going to be a pallbearer and the funeral is Saturday. (he'll have to take off of Guard duty) I told Chad I shouldn't go to the funeral since it's a family thing and that he should be there for his mom. (his parents are divorced so she's kind of alone) But, if he wants me to go, I will. I should be in class right now but I don't feel well. I don't know if it's because I need more sleep or if it's nerves. I just feel funny. Of course, I was in a hurry and couldn't find my debit card this morning. I think I lost it. (Oh great.) So I can't buy lunch. I didn't go to class also because I was going to be late again and I've been late to class everytime. I hate walking in late with "all eyes on me." That's part of my anxiety though and the phobia I used to have. I applied to the college that Chad's going to next fall. I already sent them my transcript. (with bad grades, that's a long story) I just have to pay the $25 application fee. Well, the reason I have bad grades, and a low GPA right now is because last semester my mom kicked me out. I don't know if it was another drinking episode or not but she flipped out. I stayed at my uncle's house in north county and that was "far" from my school. Plus, I decided to change my major and I didn't need the classes I was in. Well, I missed the drop date by ONE DAY and I ended up with three F's. So, I'm retaking one of them right now. (the other two were criminal justice classes, what was I thinking?) I goofed basically.
September 5th, 2000
September 4th 2000 Labor Day
September 3rd, 2000 I found out Chad can't go to my cousin's wedding with me out of town this weekend because of the Guard. I'm pretty peeved about it. I mean, he can't help it but he knew about it. (he forgot i guess) I don't want to drive the two hours by myself and show up at the wedding alone. (look like a loser) See, one weekend a month he has to go do drill or whatever they call it for the Air National Guard. I already hate the fact that he's in it but now, I'm even more annoyed since he can't come to the wedding. But I should go anyway, Sunday is Grandparents Day. Plus, I need to give my Grandma her birthday present. I bought her an Elvis calender. She loves Elvis. This one she's never had before, one of those with a page for each day...356 pictures of Elvis....oh la la...
September 2, 2000
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