What I'd like to do, but I'll try not to

1. Bring signs that say "Come on ride me, Train" and "I paid $285 for this seat, so this better be a damn good show"

2. Run up to the front row and show Nick my nipple ring.

3. Ask AJ, "How much for an hour?"

4. Print out a copy of my Kevin story and hand it to Kevin right before he goes onstage.

5. Pass Howie a note that says, "Room 215 of the Doubletree Inn. Be there or I'll tell everyone you're gay."

6. Grab the microphone from Nick and sing "I Want It That Way" right along with them.

7. Scream "That's how Owen Hart died!" when they're flying above me. (They're playing at the venue where he fell.)

8. Disguise myself as Leighanne (blonde hair dye and a stuffed bra) and tell the Security Guard I stopped by for a surprise visit.

9. Tell the teenyboppers that the Boys are standing outside and run to the front when they dash out.

10. Dye my hair blue, put a dazed look on my face, walk up to them and say, "I did it for you, AJ. Aaaaaall for you."

11. Wait until there's an instant of silence (yeah, right) and scream, "I saw them naked and I've got pictures!"

12. Carefully aim a DD-bra at Howie's head to see if I can get it to land right on top.

13. Bring another sign that says, "Watch out for Hurricane Dennis!"

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