Reel Dumb Stories
Ep9: Never Put Your Head Under While In A Hot Tub

Tara, Kiley, Scott and Aaron were sitting in the Hot Tub by the Pool Of Endless Horseplay just relaxin away. "Hey, Tara," said Aaron, "Where's Tavis?"
Tara shrugged. "Reading probably. I dunno." Suddenly she jumped and gave out a shriek. "What the hell was that?" she shouted still shaking.
"What?" asked Kiley.
"Something was sucking at my feet! I bet it's Tavis, that little freak!" she said. "We'll just see," said the Princess sticking her head under the water.
"NO!" Kiley screamed and grabbed Tara by the hair and pulled her up. "What in sweet Buddha is wrong with you?" she shrieked.
"What? I didn't do anything, asshole!" Tara shot back.
"Don't you know what happens when you stick your head under water in a hot tub?" Kiley said, a little annoyed.
"Your balls get stuck?" said Scott.
Everyone gave him a "what-the-hell" look.
"What? I saw it on TV." he said defensively.
"Dude, you'll get sucked in!" said Kiley, on the right track again.
"Sucked down?" Tara snickered, "Yeah right, Kiley."
"Dude, you had your feet over the filter. You felt how strong that sucked at your feet!" Kiley shouted getting pissed.
"That was the filter?" asked Aaron.
"Yeah man. And you'll get sucked down too. So never, NEVER, stick your head under. Ya freak." Kiley said relaxing once again.
"You OK?" asked Aaron putting his arm around Tara as a friendly consolation.
Tara wriggled away from him. "Yeah, it's all good." she said nervously. Aaron kinda scared her.
"Well, what's down there that's so scary?" asked Scott.
"No one knows." Kiley answered solemnly. "Good? Evil? No one's ever returned to tell about it."
"Well, if no one wants to come back, maybe it's a good thing." said Tara thoughtfully.
"Or maybe everyone just DIES ideot." said Kiley rolling her eyes.
"Cock," Tara mumbled.
"I'm getting wrinkly and this shrinkage is bothering me." said Scott shifting around next to Kiley.
"That gives me an idea." said Kiley slyly.
"Rock on," Scott smiled and they left.
"I'm gonna go jam out for a while." said Aaron getting up. "Wanna come?"
"Nah, I think I'll chill right here for a while longer." Tara answered. Aaron shrugged and left.
"This whole sucked down the filter thing is such bullshite." the blue headed Princess thought. She couldn't take it anymore. Her mischievious inner-child was bustin loose again. Tara sucked in some air, pursed her lips and stuck her head under the water. She opened her eyes and looked down into the filter. Then the filter sucked her through.

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Tavis sat in the Nintendo Room reading while Matt watched Dan and Carlos battle out Mortal Combat. It had been an hour and a half since Kiley, Scott, and Aaron left the pool room and now Kiley was walking in the Nintendo Room with a bag of Doritos and Scott by her side.
"Hey, Tavis, where's Tara?" asked Kiley.
"With you, I thought." Tavis answered giving her a puzzled look.
"Maybe she's jammin out with Aaron?" said Scott thoughtfully.
"I don't think so. I'm not sure if she's OK with being left in the same room with him alone." said Kiley.
"Dude, she's probably still in the hot tub." said Scott taking a seat next to Tavis on the couch.
"Uh-oh." said Kiley, "You don't think," her voice trailed off.
"She's too smart for that right?" Scott answered nervously scratching his ear.
Tavis sensed the danger vibe and stood up. "What are you guys talking about? Where's Tara at?"
"Come on we better go check it out," said Kiley. And her and the RBF left the room to go check the hot tub.
The Party People stood around the edge of the still bubbling jacuzzi and looked down. There was nothing to see but Tara's trademark neck chain lying on the hot tub's floor.

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Tara blinked a little and lifted her head up. She was sleeping at a bar? What? She waited for her eyes to adjust to the dim light and realized she WAS sitting at a bar. "Are you OK?" said a voice out of nowhere. Tara turned her head to see the silhouette of a spikey haired guy about her age. She squinted just to be sure. Yep. A guy for sure.
"Um, I'm fine." she said uncertainly. "Who are you?"
The spiky haired stranger looked down at his water bottle. "I gave you some clothes. You were in like um...a bathing suit I think." he mumbled softly.
The Princess looked at her clothes. Jeffrie's Fan Club shirt. Big huge JNCO shorts that were fastened by a thick belt to keep them held up on the miniature Princess. Worn out Converse too? Yep. "Are these your clothes?" asked the Princess in her tiny voice.
"Well, yeah. I tried." said the shy little spiky haired boy.
"What's your name again?" asked Tara.
"Um, do you need another water?" asked the spiky haired fellow.
"No, dude, I asked what your name is, dammit," said Tara getting frustrated.
"It's um...Olly." said the spiky haired one after a pause.
"No it's not, you liar!" Tara shot at him. "Just tell me!"
"Mike." said the spiky haired boy, finally giving in.
"Was that so hard?" said Tara. Mike just sighed and said nothing. That's when Tara realized what was going on. They were in some kind of cave like huge room with a bar. And the weird thing was, it was packed with people from wall to wall. Tons of punk and ska kids moshing their asses off. Just beatin each other to shite. But the odd thing about all the ruckus was...there was no music. No band! No stereo! Nothing!
"What the hell is this place?" said Tara, getting nervous.
"Calm down," said Mike.
"No way dude! You fuckin tell me what's going on right now!" Tara screamed, grabbing his collar and pulling him close for a good verbal thrashing. Suddenly, Tara realized who she was talking to. She let Mike go and shifted back on her stool. "Mike?" she asked staring wide-eyed at the now familiar face.
"You figured me out." he said now looking up, but smiling.
"But, I thought...you were...." Tara sputtered looking for the right thing to say.
"Dead? I wish. It would be better then this place." he mumbled.
"No but, there was that whole mosh pit thing back in the Land Of Severe Rockin Out! You got trampled and no one ever saw you again! I thought you were totally gone for good!" Tara's voice bagan to get squeaky and she hugged Mike before he could see her cry.
"It's all good." Mike consoled his long lost Good Twin.
Tara pulled herself away and tried to make sense of things. "OK." she said, "I remember the show. Vanilla Ice and the Hippos. I was semi wasted. You were skankin up the shite. Then, outta nowhere, a huge ass Doc Martin steps on you and you're gone. What the hell happened?"
"Tara, I gotta explain something to you." he said trying to figure out just where to begin. "This is the Pit of Despair. For all those people who got terribly fugged up in the pit or who terribly fugged up too many people. See these people? They have to mosh. Those are all the ones that hurt other people. They're never allowed to stop. Ever. They're eternally moshing. Us few who got seriously hurt are the ones who get to have a small room and stay up at the bar. We were only brought here by accident." Mike explained.
"But I wasn't moshing! I was sitting in a fuckin hot tub!" Tara wailed getting very confused.
"You put your head under didn't you?" said Mike shaking his head.
Tara stopped making eye-contact. "Yeah....yeah I did."
"Happens all the time." Mike mumbled.
"OK, so no problem. I don't like this place that much. Let's go now." said the Princess surveying the Pit Of Despair.
"No, Tara." said Mike. "We don't leave."
"Look Mike I know you probably have gotten attached to this place after a while but you can come home to the Land Of Severe Rockin Out again! Don't you wnna go home? I don't really like it here anyway. It smells like sweat and hot rubber. Let's go." she urged him.
"You don't understand." he said, "We don't just go. We can't leave. No one leaves."
Tara stared at him for a long while and what he said finally started to register.
"We're not allowed to leave? I'm trapped here....forever?" she said in a tiny voice. Mike nodded and Tara began to get dizzy. No music? No cotton candy? No bugging G-Fresh? And oh sweet Buddha! No HOT NOOKY??? Tara started breathing heavily and she lost her balance and fell off the bar stool.
"Woah dude! It's OK. We'll get you a room and it'll be all right," said Mike trying desperately to console the stunned Princess, but she couldn't hear him. She was sending her strong ass psychic vibes out to her Soul Skaboomer, the Almighty Skaboom of the Land Of Severe Rockin Out.

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The Almighty Skaboom was takin a stroll through the Mall Of Never-Ending Excitement when suddenly he got thrown into a wall. "Ouch man!" he shouted looking for whoever pushed him. No one had pushed him. OH! Now he knew what it was! It was his Soul Sistah, Princess Tara sending him a psychic vibe. Only this didn't sound like a friendly hello. It was a distress call!
"I'm on my way, Tara!" he vibed back to her as he ran for the brand new all purpose teleportation device he had just purchased. It was off to the Magic Tour Bus!

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The RBF and Kiley were pacing around the hot tub desperately thinking of what they should do. Suddenly! A flash of light! Could it be? Is it he? (no no no! None of this rhyming shite! We got a Princess to rescue!) Yes! It was Skaboom!
"Skaboom!" Tavis shouted, "You gotta help us! Tara! She...well the hot tub filter and...BALLS!!! You gotta save her!"
Skaboom grabbed Tavis by the shoulders. "It's OK, guy! Calm down! Inhale through the nose. It's all good." he coaxed.
"What do we do, Skaboom? I'm not getting sucked down there!" said Aaron.
"Well, she's down there. We really don't have a choice. Once we find her we'll figure out what to do." said Skaboom, rubbing his chin.
"Who first?" said Tavis looking around at the Party People.
"I'll go." said Aaron (he is so the leader of the group sometimes)
With that he stepped into the hot tub, clothed and all, and stuck his head under. A few bubbles rose to the surface but Aaron had disappeared. The Party People exchanged worried looks and one by one went under. Soon they were all in the Pit Of Despair sitting at the bar.
"What now?" asked Scott.
"Well, um...I really don't know." said Skaboom, in marvel at the site bestowed upon them. "She's gotta be in that crowd....somewhere," his voice trailed off.
"There's too many people here!" Tavis wailed, "We'll never find her! And now we're stuck here!"
"Oh, look." said Dan, "There she is." Everyone followed Dan's pointing finger to the other end of the bar. Tara was sitting there talking to Mike.
"Oh, fancy that," said everyone and Tara caught sight of them.
"Party People!" she shouted happily and half ran half stumbled to her homies. She immediately tackled Skaboom as it was her nature to and then tackled Tavis as she was incredibly missing him for the time they had been apart. They sucked face for a while and Tara said, "God, I've missed those trumpet lips." The Princess greeted everyone with a hug except Aaron to which she said, "Don't touch me, Aaron." Then she remembered that Mike was sitting at the bar too. "Mike, get over here, dammit. You gotta meet the Party Peoples."
Mike hesitantly walked over and greeted the RBF. "You're with Tavis now?" he whispered to Tara.
"I'm not with him." said Tara. "I'm standing next to you."
"No, no I mean you guys have sex right?" said Mike.
"Dude! That's sick! I hate that word! It's called Hot Nooky, OK?" she corrected him.
"Oh, well sorry!" Mike laughed. "But you guys are a couple."
"No, we're together. Like um...he's the blue to my cotton candy." Tara explained.
"I'm not good with metaphors" said Mike, kind of confused.
"Well, see...if Tara loses a shirt, it's probably in my bunk." said Tavis chiming in.
"Yeah. Sort of like that." said Tara thoughtfully.
"Same with Scott and Kiley," said Tavis. "If Scott has a wedgie it's usually Kiley's fault."
"Oh," said Mike. "And the rest of the RBF?"
"We eat each other's balls of course." said Aaron in a matter of fact sort of tone.
"Hey, I don't mean to interrupt this conversation, but does anyone else notice where the fuck we are?" said Skaboom.
"Um...well...you want the truth?" said Mike no longer smiling.
"Yes the truth." said Matt.
"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" Tara shouted. Her and Kiley and Mike paused and busted out into laugher. "Sorry, sorry," said Tara through her tears of laughter, "Big Hit moment right there."
"Hee hee," said Mike.
"Very good. Very good." said Skaboom. "But how are we gonna get outta here?"
"Woah! I just realized sompin!" said Tara. "Do you guys have my trademark?"
"Here. I figured you'd want it," said Kiley tossing her the chain.
"YES!" the little Princess squeaked. "I'm powerless without this." Then Aaron caught her eye. He looked terrified. "Dude, Aaron, are you OK?" she asked.
"We're never gonna leave are we?" he said softly. "We're trapped here forever. I've heard of this place. I've seen these people too."
"Dude, don't talk like that." said Dan. "We're outta here. Where's the exit Tara's Evil Twin?"
Mike took a long drink of his water bottle. "Well, we don't leave actually. We're pretty much here for good."
"What?" Kiley shouted.
Mike explained to the Party People what he had explained to Tara. Everyone sat there in shock and had no idea what to do. Suddenly! Aaron got an idea.
"Does this place have electrical outlets?" he asked.
"Over there behind the bar," Mike pointed.
"All to perfect," said Aaron. "Here's the plan slick, we play a show. We give out the crowd surfing speech and then it's gotta do something."
"Good, idea Aaron," said Kiley. "Except where the hell are you gonna get your instruments?" she shouted.
"Yeah!" Tara began to shout to only cuz Kiley was, "What are you gonna do? Pull them outta your ASS?"
Her and Kiley laughed and then the RBF did just that. Tara and Kiley stopped laughing and asked Carlos if he was OK. The RBF plugged in their instruments (those that needed to be plugged) and they started jamming out. The crowds of people stopped moshing and started shaking their booty. It was a sight to see. Tons of booty shakin fools everywhere. Suddenly there was a huge rumbling and the floor dropped out of the Pit Of Despair. There was a big flash of light and when Tara opened her eyes, she was sitting in the hot tub with the Party People. Nekkid? Yes. Oh boy.
"What just happened?" asked Scott.
"I think we're free." said Skaboom.
"You did it guys!" yelled Mike all happyish. "You guys freed all the moshers!"
"It was all Aaron's idea too." said Tara thoughtfully.
"Yeah I guess it was," said Aaron stretching his arms out.
Everyone applauded Aaron and realized they were all nekkid. "Dude, this rules." said Mike with a huge grin.
"What? That you're nekkid?" said Tara.
"Yeah! I'm going in the pool!" he shouted all happy.
"You're fugged." said Tara shaking her head.
"Oh, Tara don't hide from your feelings!" Mike said and jumped into the Pool.
Tara just laughed and shook her head. "Well, um. Balls." she said.
"Come on. You know what I want!" said Tavis.
"Yeah I do!" squealed Tara. And they left.
Then of course that was the cue for Kiley and Scott to leave. Then Skaboom had some sort of Japanese animated porn so him and Dan and Carlos left.
"What do we do now?" said Aaron.
"Well, while Jojo the Idiot Circus Boy is swimming we could go eat balls or something." said Matt.
"OK." said Aaron. And then they left.
It was a pretty nutty day.

~*~THE END~*~


No one was harmed in the making of this Reel Dumb Story. Mike is Tara's Evil Twin but they have no relation whatsoever. Please people. This episode was to open your eyes to the dangers of sticking your head under the water of a hot tub. It's just not cool. And um...balls.

All shite written by: Tara (awsomest)




Susanne you're all that I wanted of a girl. You're all that I need in the world. You're my child. Make me blush. Drive me wild. Susanne you're all that I wanted....of a girl.