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Everyone was shakin their booty in the Magic Tour Bus. Kiley and Tara were runnin nekkid through the cornfield. I mean, running about the Magic Tour Bus in a hyperactive frenzie. The party had started and their was some severe rockin out goin on! People were munchin on cotton candy and keebler cookies and the RBF even decided to be nice and get up on stage and play a few tunes. (Yes, there is a stage on the Magic Tour Bus) At one point, Tara became entranced by Scott's pelvic thrusts but someone moshed right into her and it snapped her back to reality. Wierd when that happens, right?
After RBF tired out, Plasticene came up and played some stuff off of their Seeing Stars album. Yes, they do have other songs then Lemon Yellow. Tara had begged and pleaded and finally Swingerhead came up and busted out in some of their own stuff. Tara was happy cuz she likey them a lot.
Everything was going reely smoothly. No one even had to be reprimanded for crowd surfing! It was kickin ass! The RBF decided to take a break and go find some Hot Nooky when Tavis spotted what seemed to be Tara talking with...the Goo Goo Dolls? Not the cool Goo Goo Dolls from a Boy Named Goo but the new ones that sucked ass.
"What are they doing here? And why is Tara talking to them?" Tavis thought as he walked over to the chatting people.
Tara turned around to face Tavis. Only it wasn't Tara. It was a lot like Tara. She had blue hair, but it was reely curly and dyed like shite. Not a natural Princes blue. She had boots but not Tara's kick ass boots. Some cheap, high heeled ones. She had big jeans on, but they seemed to be bothering her.
"Excuse me," said Tavis as politely as possible, "You look a lot like my girlfriend, Tara. Do you know where she is?"
"I am Tara." said the Tara looking curly haired thing. "Let's go to the jamming out room." she said leading a suspicious Tavis with her.
Tara entered right after they left with Carlos by her side. "Hey, where's Tavis?" she asked.
"I dunno. I heard he was walking to the Jamming Out Room with some chick that looked just like you. Only she had curly hair." said Carlos scratching the back of his head.
"WHAT?!" said Tara her eyes getting wide and steam rising from her head.
"Yeah they-" but Carlos was cut off as Tara grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the other end of the Magic Tour Bus. She was out for blood. Totally.
Tara and Carlos entered the Jamming Out Room where the Curly Haired Tara Looking Chick was trying to get Tavis "in the mood" shall we say.
Enraged, Tara slapped the Tara Looking Bitch right across the face. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she screamed.
"This is my boyfriend, dude." said the Curly Haired Bitch.
"Huh? Tara?" asked a dazed Tavis eyeing each girl up and down trying to make sense of things. "What the hell is going on? Not another evil impersonator!" he said shaking his head.
"This is NOT another evil impersonator, Tavis! This is just a wannabe LEECH!" accused Reel Tara.
Just then Kiley ran in, the rest of the RBF at her side. "Tara! I just got word the Curly Haired Bitch is here! Oh, wait. Which one's Tara?"
"I AM!" said the two chicks at the same time.
"No, you're not you sick bitch!" shouted Reel Tara, pushing the Curly Haired Bitch.
"Oh, man this sucks ass." said Aaron.
Just then, guess who walked in. Yep, you guessed it! Matt Stone and Trey Parker! Yay! "Happy Birthday, Matt!" said everyone to Matt.
"Thanks, man!" said Matt to everyone.
"What seems to be the ruckus?" asked Trey biting into a taco.
"This evil Curly Haired Bitch is trying impersonate Tara." said Kiley pointing to both girls. She was confused.
"There's only one way to tell." said Tavis getting up. "Tara, whichever one you are, what band were you into before I came into your life?"
"EVERCLEAR!" they both shouted.
"Shit, I give up." said Tavis sitting back down.
Then Trey got up and walked by the two Tara looking people to get a beer from the cooler on the other side of the room. Reel Tara stepped in front of him. "Hi..." she said dreamily. "You want me to get that for you?" she cooed.
"Ugh. That's nasty." said the Curly Haired Bitch.
"Ah-ha!" said Kiley jumping into action, "This is the Curly Haired Bitch! No, REEL Tara would ever call Trey Parker nasty! I say we kill her!" she said pointing to Curly Haired Bitch.
"Oh, of course!" said everyone slapping their foreheads.
"But, but, but!" Curly Haired Bitch sputtered, "I look like Tara!"
"No excuse!" said Tara getting reely pissed off. "I've been wanting to do this since forever! Kiley! Grab her!"
Kiley grabbed the bitch and held her arms behind her back.
"What are you going to do?" screamed Curly Haired Bitch.
"Bring in the Goo Goo Dolls!" said Tara.
The Goo Goo Dolls came in. "DIE!" screamed Tara bustin out all her 5th Element moves on the dorky band. Flip! Kick! Punch! Maim!
"Yeah!" screamed Kiley.
"NO! God I hate you Tara so much!" wailed Curly Haired Bitch.
"Yeah but you don't hate me and I'm the one holding you back." said Kiley rolling her eyes.
"Yeah, but, you're not reely doing that." said Curly Haired Bitch. She had always been afraid to stick up to Kiley.
After the Goo Goo Dolls lay bloodied and bashed the Party People threw them out of the Magic Tour Bus. Curly Haired Bitch was next.
"Dude, you are so fucked right now it's not even funny." said Tara slightly chuckling to herself. "You're charged with putting a damper on Matt Stone's birthday party, pissing me off since we were little, trying to seduce MY Tavis, and being an all around bitch!" said Tara.
"I think you reely fucked up on the Tavis part." said Dan, kinda laughing.
"Well, God, Tara! What do you want me to do? God! This is so screwed up! I like Tavis but I also like Aaron, and Matt, and Scott but I don't wanna lose their friendship." Curly Haired Bitch went on.
"We were friends with you?" asked Aaron.
"Wait! Did you just say you like Scott?" Kiley said edging dangerously close to Curly Haired Bitch.
"Well...I...um...that is I" Curly Haired Bitch sputtered.
"Oh boy! Oh, God! You have to be seriously screwed up to say that in front of Ki-Lee." said Tara trying to suppress her laughter. And trying to keep her eyes off Trey. Damn.
"I am gonna beat you like I would beat my brother!" screamed Kiley slowly getting reely pissed off. "I Kiley of the Land of Horror and Sci-fi trust no one! I call upon the powers of my mother Linda Blair to become Ki-Lee!"
There goes the spewege of pea soup and the red eyes and the fire hair. Ki-Lee ran to Curly Haired Bitch, grabbed her by the legs and pulled her body into 2 separate pieces! She had split her straight down the middle!
Tara let out a cry and and buried her face in Tavis' shirt. She can't stand the splitting of people. Any other execution tactic sure, but not splittage. She was just too gentle to stand it. After the components of Curly Haired Bitch were swept out the door along with the remains of the Goo Goo Dolls, everyone went back to partying again.
Around 4am they decided it was time to bring out Matt Stone's cake and sing to him while RBF played the birthday song for him. Kiley (returned to her normal, dysfunctional state) wheeled the cake out and dreamily gazed at Matt blow out his candles.
"Hey," said Matt, "Am I extremely hammered or is this cake shaking?" he asked rather perplexed.
The cake was indeed shaking but why?
Skaboom (who was at the party too) banged on the cake. "Tara and Tavis! This is highly uncalled for! The Magic Tour Bus supplies BUNKS for this!" he yelled at the cake.
Tara tapped him on the shoulder. "You talking to me?" she asked in her tiny little voice.
Everyone looked at the cake and took a step back. You never know wut's gonna happen in the Magic Tour Bus! (smiling widely!) Suddenly!
The lid popped open and (yep, you guessed it) Dian Bachar jumped out screaming something about oxygen. "Happy birthday Matt! I would've came out earlier but the lid got stuck."
"DIAN!" screamed Tara climbing the cake to get to him. "Dian where the hell have you been! You missed everything!" she tackled the little bitch with a hug and everyone dove into the cake and rolled around in the icing throwing cake at eachother. It was fun. After everyone had sprayed each other clean with some hose that came out of nowhere, there was some more partying. More RBF jammin out on stage. More cotton candy. And total Hot Nookege. I mean Hot Nooky. No ege.
At about 7:30am the party had dwindled down to just a few people. If someone wasn't bidding you a farewell they were bumming a cigarette off of you in a drunken slur. Pretty soon, Matt, Trey, and Dian were saying their good-byes.
"This seriously kicked ass. You guys rock. I didn't think turning 28 would be so much fun." said Matt dusting some crumbs off of his metallic green shirt.
"Anytime," said Kiley leaning into him a little.
"Ahem," faked Scott.
"Well, thanks you guys. We're definitely wanting to hang out with you again ok?" said Trey.
"Yeah man" said Tara blinking a lot.
Dian looked down at his shoes. "I had fun" he muttered under his breath.
Tara smiled at him and gave him a big hug. Then everyone else joined in the hug and it was just a big huge happy hug.
Trey, Dian, and Matt opened the door and left. The RBF and the two Princesses surveyed the completely trashed bus. "Well, uh" said Tara yawning. "I'll leave this up to you guys. Come on Tavis." she said walking to the bunks.
The rest of the Party People just flipped her off and went to bed. The Magic Tour Bus can clean itself for all they care. And it did.
~*~*~THE END~*~*~
I'm SUPER.