* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The movie had ended and Tara, Carlos, Kiley and Tavis were reflecting on the comedic performance by the legendary Adam Sandler.
"I get it now!" said Carlos with an enlightened look on his face.
"Get what?" asked Tara.
"GOO!" he said, hitting her with a pillow.
"GOO!" Tara shouted back returning the hit with her pillow.
"I still don't get it," Tavis mumbled. "I'm hungry. I have to eat. Let's go to the Nekkid Dragon."
"G-Fresh's place it is," Tara said.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * * * *
The four Party Peoples walked into the Nekkid Dragon Sushi Bar. "Hey G-Fresh! Where are you? We need some eats!" Tara shouted.
Ryo came out from the back room as he does whenever we cut to a Nekkid Dragon scene. "What's up, you guys?" he smiled.
"I need some wawa," said Tara.
Ryo handed her a cup with a crazy straw filled with FIJI water. (the best!) "You want something to eat?" Ryo asked.
"SPAM! It's pink and it's oval!" Tara sang.
"SPAM! I buy it at the Mobil!" Kiley chimed in.
"SPAM! It's made in Chernobyl!" Tavis joined in the song.
"SPAM!" said Carlos.
"A-wha?" said Ryo confused.
"Sorry. Save Ferris moment," Tara giggled. "What are you gonna get Carlos?"
"Well," Carlos thought looking over the menu. "I guess um-WOAH DUDE!" he suddenly screamed leaping out of his chair.
"Woah dude! Wut?" the Party People freaked, jumping back.
"Shh," Carlos whispered. "It's a fly." Suddenly, he busted out in all these freaky crazy kung fu moves!
"KEE-YA!" he screamed, wailing into these nutty flips, punches and kicks. He then gave the fly a blow to the head and it died. Carlos put his hands together, bowed to the dead fly and somewhere, a gong was heard. The drummer nonchalantly got back into his stool and looked over the menu. "I guess I'll have the California rolls, Ryo," he said smiling and handing the stunned sushi bar owner the menu.
The Party People stood there in shock staring at Carlos. Carlos said nothing but smiled his cute lower-lippish smile. "What are you guys getting?" he asked.
"Dude! What da fugg?" said Tavis.
"What?" asked Carlos.
"Dude, where you just here?" Tara said. "Where did you learn all that funky ninja shit?"
"What? The Kung Fu you mean?" Carlos asked with a puzzled look.
"Yeah, man!" said Kiley. "You were going crazy! You're supposed to be the little quiet one!"
"I am. I just know how to Kung Fu," said Carlos shrugging his shoulders.
"Well, wow damn," said Ryo. "I guess it's a good thing. We've been getting flies like crazy for some reason."
"Well, this IS a raw fish bar, dude," said Tara.
Carlos a Kung Fu ninja specialist. Who knew?
* * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Later on, Tara sat across the table from Dan explaining the past events of Carlos and his ninja powers. Dan, however, was skeptical.
"Carlos? A Kung Fu ninja? I don't know, dude," said Dan shaking his head.
"I'm telling you, man, he went totally Bruce Lee on the fly's ass! It was nuts!" Tara squeaked. "It was so unexpected, but it was fuggin rad! I mean, do you believe this? Carlos is a ninja!"
"I'm not sure I believe that. I mean, ninjas aren't Mexican, are they?" Dan asked.
"Well, I don't really know for sure. Maybe there's an exception for drummers." Tara said thoughtfully. "But let's drop the subject for now," said the Princess lowering her voice. "Here comes Tavis and he's got his insulin thingy."
Dan smiled devilishly and hid behind the door. Tavis walked in pressing buttons on the diabetes recharger thingy. Dan then yanked the device off of Tavis' stomach and ran away laughing uncontrollably.
"Hahahaa!" Dan laughed, "Tavis is gonna deflate!"
"Dammit, dude! Die!" Tavis shouted running at Dan.
"Tara! Go long!" Dan threw the contraption at Tara. She jumped into the air and gracefully caught it.
Tavis dove for Tara but she ducked and did a James Bond floor roll across the room. She got up and ran while laughing hysterically into the Nintendo room. She jumped over Scott barely knicking his head with her toes. Scott was in an INTENSE game of Resident Evil 2. He didn't seem to notice any of the commotion.
The three ran into the Jamming Out Room where Carlos, Aaron and Matt were...well.....jamming out. "What's all this ruckus?" asked Aaron standing up.
"Tavis is gonna deflate!!" Dan shouted gleefully.
"Let me play! Let me play!" Aaron said clapping his hands and jumping up and down.
Suddenly, some kind of razor sharp spear flew directly at Tara and pinned the shoulder of her shirt to the wall. Everyone stopped in their tracks and Carlos leaped out from behind his drum set in all these flips and what not. Then he kicked the diabetes-thingy out of Tara's hands right over to Tavis. The stunned Tavis didn't try to catch it, so it bounced off of his chest onto the floor. Carlos clasped his hands together and bowed to Tara. Somewhere, again, that gong was heard.
It was Matt who broke the silence. "Dude! What in glowing Buddha was that?"
Carlos gave Matt a perplexed look. "Was what?" he asked. It was then that Carlos had realized what he had done. His eyes met Tara's as she hung helplessly on the wall. "Oh, dude!" said Carlos running to help down the Princess. "I'm fuggin sorry! What the hell is wrong with me? Did I do this?"
Tara just smiled and nodded. "It's all good. I mean you coulda speared my eye or something but I'm OK," she said as Carlos helped her down.
"Dude, freaky freak, I'm so sorry! I could've killed you! I don't know what got into me!" Carlos went on hugging Tara dangerously too hard and muttering various apologies.
Tara tried to gasp for some air and wriggle out of Carlos' death grip. "Dude, it's all good. I'm fine! Um...hugging to hard dude...DUDE!" Tara squeaked.
Carlos released the Princess. "I'm sorry. This has never happened before. I just totally went out of control. I usually know how to harness this."
"What you need, dude, is someone to teach you," said Matt thoughtfully.
"Teach me?" Carlos asked.
"Yeah dude. You know. Like on that movie Karate Kid. You need some sort of master dude or whatever," said Matt dragging from his cigarette.
"But who?" asked Tavis, now recharging himself again.
Matt thought for a minute. Then the rest of the Party People thought. Then Kiley walked in and she started thinking, not knowing why, but everyone else was, so she figured it would be the cool thing to do.
"I got it!" said Tara jumping at her own thoughts.
"What?" asked the Party People.
"G-Fresh!" said Tara already heading over to the Nekkid Dragon. "He'll know what to do!" The Party People shrugged and all took hands and skipped to the Nekkid Dragon.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Party People all sat around the Nekkid Dragon after explaining the whole Kung Fu concept to Ryo. Ryo wasn't quite so keen on the whole, "Kung Fu Master" deal.
"Why me, you guys?" Ryo whined.
"Cuz don't you know Kung Fu shite?" Tara asked.
"Why the hell would I know that stuff?" Ryo said.
"Aren't you Japanese? Japanese people know that kind of stuff," said Tara taking a sip of wawa.
Ryo frowned and rolled his eyes at Tara. "That's so stereotypical! Just because I'm fucking Asian doesn't mean I'm a Kung Fu Master!"
Tara smirked at Ryo. "All in favor for Ryo to try to teach Carlos the way of the ninja, say 'funky disco chicken!'" said the blue haired Princess.
"FUNKY DISCO CHICKEN!" said the Party People.
"You're outvoted dude," said Tara.
Ryo stared at Carlos then at Tara. "You guys suck."
"WOAH!" said Carlos jumping up. "Shh....fly." he whispered. He then went into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle mode and began freaking out, Jackie Chan style. He kicked the fly, missed and took out Scott with his foot. Scott, knocked out completely, fell over out cold. Carlos put his hands together, bowed and yet AGAIN somewhere that crazy gong was heard.
Kiley got up and ran to her little Jew Baby. "Scott! Are you OK?" she screamed not knowing what to do.
Again, Carlos kicked for the fly and the Party People ran for cover. This time, the drummer hit the fly and it died. Carlos stopped and looked around. The Party People all peeked out from behind chairs and the sushi bar.
Carlos' eyes fell on Scott and Kiley. "Oh, crap," he said.
Scott blinked and sat up. "Um, ouch," he said rubbing his forehead.
"Scott, dude! I'm sorry! Oh man, I really fugged this time didn't I?" Carlos said pacing around Scott.
"Well, damn, Carlos," said Aaron. "This IS serious. You can't just go beating your band members up every time a fly buzzes by! You're gonna kill someone dude!"
Carlos gave Ryo a pleading look. "Can you help me?" he asked.
Ryo sighed. "No, I can't but I guess I have no choice since I'm the only Asian one here."
Carlos gave Ryo a hug. "YAY! Thanks man!" he said happily.
"Yeah whatever," Ryo sighed.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * ** * * *
It had been about a few hours since Ryo said he would teach Carlos how to control himself in times of martial arts situations and Aaron and Tara had stayed to watch.
"You're skill is improving Carloson," Ryo said in somewhat of a humble tone.
"Hey, Ryo, when will Carlos be safe enough to be around people?" asked Tara.
"He already is, just not around well...i dunno," Ryo said thoughtfully.
"Damn there's a lot of flies in here," said Aaron swatting around his face.
"Where?" asked Carlos.
"Right there," Aaron pointed out. "See?"
"Oh, yeah," said Tara following the flying insect with her eyes.
"DIE!" Carlos shouted and started going totally ape shit again with the kicks and flips and what not.
The fly freaked out and flew towards Aaron for no apparent reason. It was just flying. Carlos' razor sharp eyesight caught it and he went to go punch it out. His fist flew through the air like a bullet. The fly swerved right and Carlos punched Aaron. Right in the face. You hear me? Yeah. Yeah. Right in the face.
Aaron fell back and there was a silence. The fly left. Ryo just stood there. Carlos put his hands together, bowed and again that fucking gong. He then ran to Aaron and Tara tried to see if Aaron was OK.
"Dude, Aaron?" Tara asked. "You all good?"
"Shit!" Carlos wailed. "I really fucked up again! ARG! I'm so dumb! Aaron? Aaron?!?! Please wake up!"
Ryo then came over and pushed the frantic Carlos out of the way. "Aaron?" he said. "Damn he's really out this time."
Aaron looked up at the three faces above him. He heard their voices but they were kinda echoey and the faces were smeared. "A-wha?" he said, trying to make sense of things.
"Aaron? Can you hear me?" said Tara
"Dude?" asked Aaron, touching Tara's face. "Are you God?"
"No, dude, it's me, Joe Cooper. I mean! Daaa! It's the next closest thing. It's Tara, you sad silly bitch!"
"Oh," said Aaron. "Wow. My head hurts."
Tara bent down and kissed his forehead. Then Ryo did. Then Carlos. Aaron sat up.
"That's better," he said smiling.
"Dude, I could've killed you," Carlos said softly.
"It's all good, dude. I'm cool," said Aaron putting his arm around his ex Suburban Rhythm rejecter.
"No, no. It's not cool. That's it. From this day forward no more Kung Fu. Ever." Carlos said crossing his arms over his chest.
"What?" said the Asian, the Princess and the Rock Star.
"You guys heard me," said Carlos. "No more. It's too dangerous."
Little did the four Party People know that there was the Fly King buzzing about the room listening to everything. He giggled to himself. At last. Now his hostile take over of the Nekkid Dragon would work! Fish carcass for everyone!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Party People were all in the Nintendo room watching Scott toil endlessly at that Resident Evil game. When suddenly, Ryo came bursting through the door knocking the Playstation chord loose. The TV went blank.
"NOOO!!!!" Scott wailed, throwing his hands out as if to undergrab the air. "Why? Oh, why?"
Ryo stopped and tried to catch his breath, not noticing Scott weep. "You guys! *pant pant* Flies! Everywhere! *gasp* Carlos! *weez* Need your help!" Ryo spat out in short breaths.
Carlos shook his head. "No way dude. I'm through with that shit."
Ryo's jaw fell open. "DUDE! There's a giant swarm of flies destroying my sushi bar! You gotta help me!"
Carlos thought about it for a minute. "Can't do it. I made a promise."
Ryo got pissed. He ran over to Carlos, picked him up by the shirt and slammed him against the wall. "Listen to me you little bitch! You either go out there and kill those flies, or i'm gonna shove your head so far up for fuckin ass, you'll have to wear YOURSELF AS A HAT!!!!" Ryo screamed.
"AAAGGGHH!" Carlos went.
"AAAGGGHH!" Ryo went.
"AAAGGGHH!" Everyone went.
"Yeah! Now go out there and kill those bugs!" Ryo shouted.
Carlos slapped Ryo on the face and ran out to the Nekkid Dragon. The Party People all ran after him. Ryo just stood there and rubbed his face and went, "Fuck!"
* * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Party People stood outside the Nekkid Dragon. Carlos was the first to bust through the door. "Hey!" he shouted. "You flies! Get your punk asses out of Ryo's sushi bar!"
The big swarm of flies turned into the shape of a fist.
"Oh-HO!" Carlos said, not fased. "Bring it on, fuggers!"
The drummer and the giant black fist collided. Somewhere, sitar music was heard. A few gongs of course and a lot of "KEE-YA's." Fly after fly the insects went down and the Party People ran around the Nekkid Dragon with Dirt Devils frantically trying to vacuum up the bodies. Soon, the flies were all vacuumed up and dead. As ALL flies should be. Tara sat next to Carlos fanning him with a little Chinese print cheap ass carnival prize fan that had a cherry blossom design on it and the Party People pretended to vacuum each other up.
"Thanks man," said Ryo to Carlos.
"Sure thing. I think I'll quit the ninja stuff for now though. It's kinda tiring." Carlos panted.
Tavis came up to Tara with the Dirt Devil. He revved it a few times and Tara was already running off to the bunks.
Kiley and Scott were headed there too. Only Kiley was beating Scott with a fish.
Crazy stuff always goes down in sushi bars.
~*~*~THE END~*~*~