:::::::Cue the "DUM DUM DUM" music:::::::
"Woah dude!" Tara shrieked, backing away. "What the hell?"
"See? I told you to leave me alone! I'm hideous!" Tavis wailed beginning to cry.
"No, no," Tara said trying to collect herself, "It's all good. Come out of this bunk so I can see better." The tiny Princess pulled Tavis out of the bunk and sat him down in the Kitchen of Absolutely No Space. "When did this happen?"
"I dunno!" Tavis said, "I just woke up and it was there! I didn't know what to do!" He began to burst into tears again.
"OK, OK," Tara tried to think. "What would Brian Boitano do?"
Tavis wiped away a tear only to let another one fall in it's place. "What would Brian Boitano do?" he repeated.
"I got it!" Tara shouted very suddenly, making Tavis give a little jump.
"What you got, biatch?" asked Tavis.
"Kellyn will know what to do!" Tara squeaked. "We'll go to Kellyn, the Punkstress of the Land of Severe Punk Rock! Punk rockers always know their shit when it comes to hair dying. So, don't cry. It'll all work itself out." Tara coaxed her fragile little trumpeteer while wiping the tears off his face.
Tavis sniffled. "OK."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *** * * * * * * * * * *
The Party People stood forming a semicircle around the toilet in the Punk Rock Bathroom where Tavis was sitting as Kellyn examined his new blue head. Tavis sat nervously playing with a cheap wire ring he found at a Laundromat as he waited for an analysis from Kellyn.
"It's um.." Kellyn said still looking through Tavis' blue hair. "It's well, um, unusual I can tell you that."
"That's all you have to say?" said Tavis, getting nervous. "My fuggin hair turned blue overnight for no reason and you're just all, 'it's unusual!!!'"
"Dude, I've never seen this kind of dye before!" Kellyn argued.
"It's not dyed though!" Tavis said.
"Well, then what the hell did you do to it?" Kellyn shouted impatiently.
"Nothing dude!" Tavis shouted back.
"OK, OK!" Aaron, yelled, trying to take authority in the situation. "Let's all just calm down. Now, why this happened? We don't know. But it HAD to have happened for a good reason or else it wouldn't have happened at all."
The Party People all nodded in agreement.
"So, what's this good reason?" asked Tavis.
"How the fugg should I know?" asked Aaron checking out his hair in the mirror.
"Hmm," said everyone pondering what should happen next.
"Hey," said Dan ever so suddenly, "Isn't there some really really really punk rock boy that lives somewhere around here? I mean he knows everything right?"
"Rude Boy, you mean?" said Kellyn with a what-the-hell look on her face.
"Yeah, that's the name. Rude Boy." said Dan.
"I dunno, dude," said Kellyn uncertainly. "He's kinda serious about his puckishness. My people say it's really not that safe for me to go near him."
"Why?" asked Scott.
"Cuz he'll feel all intimidated since I'm like, the Punkstress and all and he could wigg out or something. You never know with these people." said Kellyn.
"Dude, you've got us to back you up," said Tara. "We always win anyway so you really don't have anything to be afraid of when you're dealing with us. We're like, Super Rock Stars."
"Well, I guess you're right," said Kellyn folding her arms across her chest. "Let's go. If anyone can help you Tavis, it should be this guy."
"I hope so," said Tavis.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * ** * ** * *
The Party People arrived at what they were told was Rude Boy's house. They walked up the cement walkway being careful not to step on any passed out punks that lie in their way. The defining sound of severe hard-core British punk rock could be heard on the other side of the door. The Party People just kind of stood there for a few minutes wondering if they should go in or who should knock first.
"Go ahead, Aaron," said Kellyn, giving him a little shove.
"Why me, dude?" asked the Morissey looking ska band leader.
"Cuz I don't know what's in there. I could open the door and be assassinated or something. Just fuckin knock!" said the Punkstress.
"Uh, Carlos, you knock," said Aaron pushing the helpless little Los up to the door, "You're the new guy after all."
Carlos stepped back. "I've been the damn new guy for like over half a year! Let Matt do it! He's Hawaiian."
Matt gave Carlos a what-the-hell look and pointed to Tavis. "He was a rude boy in high school. He should do it. He's the damn reason we're here."
This only escalated into a 20 minute argument about who should open the door when Kiley got sick of the whole thing and just busted it down herself. "There!" she shouted, "Happy now?"
The Party People nodded. Then, they saw him. Rude Boy. He was about 6'3" not counting the huge green mohawk that stood straight out of his head. His boots were huge and could have probably stomped some serious scull at past shows. The Party People just stared at him in awe. He was the most punk anyone had ever seen. Too much punk really. So much punk it actually was lacking something.
"You busted down my door," he said staring at the wood on the floor.
The Party People said nothing but stood there in fear of what Rude Boy might do.
"That's so punk rawk. Come on in," said Rude Boy motioning for the Party People to enter.
The stunned ska band and 3 princesses let out a sigh of relief and crossed over the threshold. Kellyn was the first to speak.
"Hi. You must be Rude Boy. Right?" she asked in her most professional Punkstress sounding tone.
"Yeah, I am. And you are The Punkstress, right?" Rude Boy replied to her.
"Yes. I thought you didn't recognize me." Kellyn said suspiciously.
"Why is that?" asked Rude Boy.
"Well, usually, you BOW DOWN to your Almightstress," Kellyn said in a matter of fact tone.
Rude Boy just sat on the couch. "I'm too punk for that."
"Um, OK," said Kellyn uncertainly.
"Um, Rude Boy," Tara said stepping up to the punkaholic, "My little trumpeteer boy, Tavis. Not Travis, mind you. There is no R in Tavis. He woke up this morning and found that his hair suddenly turned blue. Now, we figured since you're known to be really punk-"
"I'm more punk then everyone," interrupted Rude Boy, "More punk then you, you, you, and all of you. I'm the most punk ever."
"OK, we getcha on that," said the Titstress kind of annoyed. "All we wanna know is, why is Tavis' hair blue?"
"Well," said Rude Boy, "Travis, I don't know why you picked blue. That is so not punk rock. You should have done red or green."
"Look," said Tavis, "It's not like I did it on purpose, OK? I just woke up with it. Kinda like my first date. And it's TAVIS not Travis."
"Wutever, man. Hey, you guys wanna get some piercings?" said Rude Boy, not really paying attention to the correct pronunciation of Tavis' name, as most people usually do.
"No thanks," said Tara getting ready to leave, "I guess you can't help us. We'll just exit stage right. Thanks anyway though."
"Woah, where are you going?" asked Rude Boy, getting up to stand in Tara's way.
"We're leaving. You're not really as helpful as we thought so we'll just be going, OK?" said Tara edging back away from Rude Boy.
"Why can't I help you? I'm punk enough!" Rude Boy said stepping close to Tara.
"Dude, it's not about punk enough. It's about Tavis," said Tara.
"I can help Travis!" Rude Boy protested still gaining inches on Tara.
"Tavis, dude. Tavis," said Tavis getting annoyed.
Kellyn noticed how dangerously close Rude Boy was to Tara so she decided to jump in. "Back off, dude! Come on, Party People, let's get outta here."
"What's wrong, Punkstress?" said Rude Boy, advancing on Kellyn. "Too punk for you?"
"No, dude, quit it with the punk shite all right? Geez, we know you're punk. You don't have to try to make yourself seem more punk then EVERYONE!" Kellyn snapped at Rude Boy.
"I'm not making myself like that! I AM like that!" said Rude Boy now yelling all up in Kellyn's face.
"Wutever! You're full of shite is what you are! You're a fucking POSER!" Kellyn screamed.
Rude Boy was in shock. "NO ONE is more punk then I am!!! I have a mohawk! I have boots! I Iike to say Oi! You're goin down for that one!" With, that, Rude Boy knocked the Punkstress to the ground with a blow to the stomach with his boots and began to stomp the helpless Punkstress to oblivion.
"Woah dude!" said everyone immediately diving for Rude Boy, to kick some arse. The Party People were no match for Rude Boy's mohawk of death. It's scratched them to pieces and the Party People could do nothing but watch as Kellyn was stomped into little pieces of Kellyn on the floor. Not even Kiley's famous dead legs could stop Rude Boy.
Suddenly, as if by magic or some sort of syntriphical force from Star Wars, Tavis' blue head began to glow! "Dude!" he screamed, "What the fugg is going on?"
Then! As if on cue, Tara's head began to glow!
"Woah, dude!" Tara squealed trying to back away from herself, but for some reason, couldn't. Then, another freaky thing happened. A blue glowing shape appeared on Tavis' forehead. It was one of those double music note thingys!
"Tara!" Tavis screeched, "There's a blue glowing music note on your forehead!"
Tara threw her hands on her forehead. "You, too dude!"
"Dudes!" said Dan trying to keep his lip from bleeding. He had caught a Rude Boy spike in his face. Ouch. "Put your foreheads together! It might do sompin!"
Tara and Tavis saw no better alternative so did as Dan had suggested. Then there was sort of a rumble and Rude Boy stopped kicking the shite out of poor Kellyn and began to stare at Tara and Tavis. The Party People and Rude Boy stared in breathless wonder at the trumpeteer and the Titstress. They had turned into two blue glowing people stuck at the head now. After a few seconds, they separated, but held hands. They were still glowing and you could no longer see any color except a brilliant blue light in their eyes.
It was then that, with one hand Tavis pulled a trumpet out of nowhere and blew into it making the most beautiful yet rockin sound you could ever hear. Then, Tara, being of no musical talent, screamed. A beam of blue "laser" shot out of her mouth and another "laser" out of Tavis' trumpet. The "lasers" hit Rude Boy with such force that he was stunned and electrocuted and twitching for a few minutes and then he crumpled to the floor in a pile of gray ash. That was the end of Rude Boy.
Tara and Tavis collapsed onto the floor and gasped for air.
"What a rush," Tara panted.
"That was like...the most severe Hot Nooky I've ever experienced in my life," Tavis said.
"I don't think it was Hot Nooky, dude," said Aaron.
"Hey," said Kellyn, still bloodied and bruised on the ground, "Can someone help me out here? I could use some water. Maybe even a Band-Aid."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Party People were chillin in the Just Chillin Room in the Castle of Severe Punk Rock and were trying to regroup from the whole Rude Boy mess.
"Well, THAT was an experience goin down in the books," said Matt taking a sip of his beer.
"The most hardest to beat supervillan yet," Aaron said thoughtfully.
"You know wut guys?" said Kellyn.
"Wut?" said the Party People.
"We never did find out why Tavis has blue hair," Kellyn said.
"Maybe it was just fate," said Tara. "I mean, you would be dead right now, Kellyn if he hadn't turned blue."
"Yeah," said Kellyn nodding. "Fate."
"Some odd far out mystical force that cannot be explained," said Tavis in a philosophical tone.
"No," said Kiley quietly cuddling into Scott.
"What do you mean, no?" asked Scott.
"Not fate. Not some fugged up weird force of the universe," said Kiley.
"Then what?" asked Tavis.
"Hot Nooky....idiot," Kiley said closing her eyes for a nap.
"Hot Nooky?" said the Party People all at the same time.
"Yeah," said Kiley, not opening her eyes, "Tavis, Tara had the blue hair first. Dumb jerk."
Tara and Tavis stared at each other for a while and then broke out into laughter.
"Well, if it was that easy the whole time," said Tavis.
"Yeah, man. How silly of us to overlook that fact. Why the hell didn't you say something before, Kiley?" said Tara slapping her head.
"Well, you never asked," said Kiley, "All I know is, I better be careful or else I could wake up with Jew Fuzz."
~*~*~THE END~*~*~