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The Magic Tour Bus rolled into the Land Of Severe Rocking Out and right along to the dwelling of Johnny Atlantic ˘ity. Tara was already doing that foot-twitching thing but while keeping her small feet under the table so no one would notice. She knew that if she was caught getting hyper they would take her straight to the bunks and not let her out until her sugar high winded down. They finally opened the doors and Tara tried walking reelly slowly so's not to give herself away.
Kiley noticed her irregular slow strides. "Will you walk? Geez!" she shouted while giving Tara a shove.
"Heeheehee!" was all Tara could say. "Shit!" she thought, " Here come the giggle fits. I'm fucking dead."
"What's so funny?" asked Kiley now starting to laugh herself, "What? Tell me!" she laughed.
"Um...heehee...nothing dammit!" Tara laughed.
Tavis could her the giggling and, knowing his chick like he knew his trumpet, turned and looked her squaa in the eye. "Are you hyper?" he said eyeing her.
"No," said Tara trying to not laugh.
"Yes you are!" said Tavis. "You're acting like a stoner and that means you're hyper! You're going back to the bunks right now." he ordered.
"No! I swear I'm not!" said Tara surprised that Tavis would take such a bold tone with her. He was usually made the bitch. Not her. "Look, I can handle myself all right?! You get out of my way and let me be a guest." Tara said once again taking the upper hand and making Tavis the bitch. Tavis opened his mouth to protest but felt that Tara could probably control herself and backed off before he made her angry.
Aaron knocked on the door and a young blonde guy in killer shweet glasses answered with a huge grin showing his amusement in seeing his old friends, and possible new ones. "How the fuck are you guys?" he asked motioning for the Party People to come in.
"We're doin OK," said Carlos heading for the case of Rolling Rocks waiting in the living room. "How've you been doing? How's that web stuff coming along?"
"Web stuff?" said Kiley, her ears perking at the sound of computer talk.
"Yeah man," said Carlos, "This is our web dude you know. He's got everything."
"Really?" asked Tara. "Cool. Um...so uh," the Princess sputtered trying to sift through her clouded brain for the right thing to say.
Tavis frowned at the sight of his hyped up girlfriend. "˘ity, this is Tara the Titstress of the Land Of Severe Rocking Out. I'm sure you've heard of her."
Johnny Atlantic ˘ity outstretched his hand to her. Tara tried to but hers was shaking too hard and ended up shaking his hand too hard. ˘ity gave her a puzzled look. "Yeah of course I know you. I live in your kingdom so I guess I should."
"Yeah, heh heh. Do we have any music or anything?" Tara asked.
"Um over there are my CDs-" said ˘ity but the Princess was already there going through them and fiddling with the player.
"Need help?" he asked.
"No, I got it." she answered knowing she didn't.
"Let me do it." he said getting kind of annoyed at the little girl's incapacity to make the CD player function properly.
"It's all good, I said," said Tara.
"No, it's not! You're shaking!" ˘ity yelled at her.
"Dudes! Tara, calm down," Dan urged the two arguing freaks.
"Fugg you dude! I can do a CD player!" Tara shouted starting to freak.
"NO!" ˘ity shouted back. "Mah house dammit!"
"Well, well, well! Your computer um...sucks!" Tara shouted very immaturely at ˘ity.
"Oh fucking yeah?!?" ˘ity ran to his computer and pushed a few buttons. With a small yellow cloud, Tara had disappeared.
"Woah dude!" Kiley said, "I've never seen a computer do THAT!"
"Dude!" said Tavis. "You fucking made my chick disappear! Where is she?"
Johnny Atlantic ˘ity said nothing but pointed to the screen of his idiot box. There, inside was the tiny Princess going into sugar seizure or some weird shite like that.
"That's what happens when you date a spaz! Muahahahahahaa!" ˘ity threw his head back and laughed evily.
"Dude, not cool! Why in the computer?" asked Aaron.
"So I can evily take all of her awsomness and make the most killer site dedicated to you guys using her power! It'll rule!" ˘ity shrieked gaining excitement.
"Woah, woah, woah!" Tavis interrupted. "That's not gonna work! It's a felony to try to take her awsomness! She's the Titstress! You'll get hanged! You remember what happened to the last guy that tried that right?"
The image of Evil Dan flashed through everyone's mind and disappeared just as quickly.
"No!" said Johnny interrupting the Party People's thoughts. "She's a spaz! She's not worth Nookying anyway, Tavis!"
"WHAT?" said Tavis, beginning to freak.
"You fucking heard me! Now sit down while I make a killer RBF site!"
"NO!" Tara shouted from inside the computer. "I'll kick your arse like Brian Boitano!"
"Like hell you will! You're a sugar junkie anyway! You'll throw your life away no matter what goes down! Tavis, you don't want a sugar junkie!" ˘ity argued.
"No, Tavis! Yes you do! I can change!" Tara squeaked.
"What if you don't?" asked Tavis.
It was then that Tara broke out in that song "I Can Change" that was performed by Saddam Heusien in that South Park movie. "I can change, I can change! I can learn to keep my promises i know it! Just open up my heart and I will show it! Any minute now I'm gonna change!" she sang.
"I totally believe you." said Tavis. "Let her out, Johnny."
"Sorry, dude. Not gonna happen." said ˘ity.
"What do you mean? I said let her out!" Tavis shouted.
Johnny then pushed a few keys and a beam of orange light with ribbons of blue shot into Tara's mouth and began to suck out her awsomness. The helpless Titstress fell onto her knees and the vibrant shimmery blue was slowly melting out of her hair.
Tavis pounded his fists on the screen. "NO! Stop! You're killing her!"
Johnny gave Tavis a sad look. "I'm doing this all for you guys. It's to help YOUR site look better! Not to be mean! To be nice!" shouted the confused little tacky dressing boy.
Aaron put his hand on a now weeping ˘ity's shoulder. "How about you let the Princess go and stop being an evil cock and then you can do our OFFISHIAL site? Would you like that?"
˘ity looked up at Aaron. "Reely?"
"Yep. Everything is all up to you," Aaron smiled that Aaron smile he does to reassure Johnny that this was no bullshite.
Johnny gave out a squeal for joy, pushed a few keys and Tara appeared lying on the floor in front of the TV. Carlos was the first to reach her and he sat her in his lap but her body seemed lifeless. The Los gave the Party People a sad look and then stopped making eye contact.
"No!" Tavis shrieked. He picked up the non-moving Princess and carried her to the kitchen while frantically searching the cabinets.
"What are you looking for, guy?" asked ˘ity.
"Ah-HA!" shouted a victorious Tavis. He put Tara down on the counter and opened a little yellow box labeled "SUGAR CUBES." He dropped 2 small white squares in the Princess's mouth and moved her jaw in a chewing motion. With a few streaks of shimmeryish stardust whipping around her, Tara's hair turned blue again and she blinked and sat up.
"Dude? Um, what?" she asked in a daze.
"Dude, Tara!" said Dan getting overly excited. "Shit, dude! You were all hyper and then ˘ity was all freaking out and mean and then your power was gone and funna...um....mumafuggin...THEN! Aaron saved you, dude and sugar! And then Tavis fixed you right up! It was nuts!"
Tara said nothing but gave Dan a what-the-hell look and looked to Aaron. "You saved me, dude?" she asked.
"Well, it was nothing really. Just your every day asshole trying to do a good thing for mankind," said Aaron rubbing his nails on his chest and then checking them ever so nonchalantly.
Tara pursed her lips and slowly approached her hero for the day. "Um, thanks. I guess." she said avoiding eye contact but still giving him a hug despite her fear of him all of the sudden for no reason stepping on her foot. Aaron did not crush her tiny foot but flashed her his trademark smile and Tara smiled back. Then she looked to Johnny Atlantic ˘ity. "As for you. I guess we just got off at a bad start. I'm sorry dude. You should really be punished by my mighty Princess powers but since you saved my life, sort of, I'll just change your name."
"To what?" asked ˘ity.
Tara thought for a moment. "Johnny Vega$. With a dollar sign."
Johnny Atlantic ˘ity thought about this. "I kinda like it." he said with a smile.
"Good." said Tara.
Then Matt (talking for the first time in this episode) broke out into song. "Everything worked out what a happy end! Tara and Johnny are cool again!"
"Dude," said Tara stopping him. "No songs. Lets just like, have a party over at the castle."
"Good enough for me!" said Carlos heading for the bus. "Will there be blow jobs there?"
"Do you have to ask?" said Aaron pushing him.
So there was a party. Cotton candy. Pez for Johnny Vega$. And of course, Hot Nooky. It was a cool cool day.
~*~*~THE END~*~*~