Reel Dumb Stories
Ep10: Always Make Snap Judgments

Tara sat in front of the TV with Kiley watching Blue's Clues. It was a good one too! Steve had to figure out what song game Blue wanted to play!
"A clue!" Tara squealed pointing to the TV set. "A clue Steve! Behind you!"
"Dude, he hears you OK?" said Kiley, annoyed.
"Look," Tara began, sort of irked at Kiley, "Steve asked me if I wanted to play. He said he wants my help. He stated this clearly at the beginning of the show. Now, I'm helping Steve! What are you doing? Just sitting on your ass, eating MY cotton candy and not doing a DAMN thing while the God forsaken clue sits up on that refrigerator and Steve can't see it! GOD DAMN YOU, KILEY!" shouted the tiny Princess.
Kiley stared at her faithful soul sista for a while and broke the silence by saying, "You're weird." Tara shrugged it off and continued to stare at the TV set.
A few minutes later, Aaron walked in. "Mail's here," he said sitting on the couch with the stack of envelopes and mags. Tara jumped to her feet forgetting all about Steve and the clues and sat next to Aaron on the couch eagerly watching him sort everything out. "Can I help you?" he asked, smiling.
"Did I get it? Did I get it? Is it here?" asked the obsessed Titstress bouncing on the cushion as she waited for a reply.
"Is what here?" asked Aaron.
"My stuff, dammit! The stuff I ordered from Andrew!" Tara squealed.
Aaron shuffled through the papers and assorted junk. "Nope," he answered, after what seemed like hours to the anxious Princess. "Not a thing."
"DAMN IT ALL!" Tara screamed storming out of the room. "GOD! IT'S BEEN FOREVER AND A HALF!" she wailed on, ranting and raving through the Magic Tour Bus. Carlos spotted her and stood in her path.
"Dude," he said softly, trying not to get her even more worked up, "What's wrong?"
The little pouty Princess took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to gain some self control. "I still haven't gotten my stuff from Andrew and I'm getting pissed off."
"Is that all?" asked Carlos kind of let down.
"ALL?" Tara said raising her voice again, "ALL? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!"
"OK! OK! I'm sorry! It's all good!" said Carlos petting her blue hair to keep her quiet. "Shush, shush, shush. Want some wawa?"
"No," answered Tara, getting calmed and over her pissy fit. "It's just that..." her voice trailed off as she struggled to find the right words.
"Look, you can just listen to my demos if you want to," said the Los.
"NO! IT'S NOT THE SAME! I didn't pay YOU for them, dammit!" Tara shrieked, her anger level rising once again.
"OK! Um..we don't have to! Calm down!" Carlos tried but it was of no use. Tara had given the mail that heartbroken look for the last time. It was now time to take matters into her own hands. "Where are we, Carlos?"
"Um, Utah I think."
"Then Land of Retired Rock Stars here we come!" Tara said with an evil look on her face. The stubborn Princess then ran to the front of the bus and took control over the wheel. The Magic Tour Bus was heading for Andrew's house.
About a while later the bus stopped in front of a nice little place in Southern Land of Retired Rock Stars. Andrew's house. "Here we are!" said Tara jumping off the bus, Party People following her. "Just lemme at him!" said the ass kicking happy Princess.
"Dude, Tara, maybe we outta think this over. I mean Andrew's actually a really nice guy once you meet him!" Matt tried to explain. (Hey, you gotta back up your buds even if it means getting beaten by a Princess!)
"No excuses, Matt!" Tara said walking in the door. "Andrew! Where you at boy? Show yourself!" Tara started walking through the house looking though rooms, doors, closets and drawers. (Woah, dude! I think I just rhymed!) When suddenly!
"Hey, you guys!" shouted Tavis from one end of the living place of Andrew. "Check this shite out!" The Party People all gathered around to see what Tavis had found. Could it be? A huge stack of cash, checks and money orders all addressed to Andrew asking for stuff. Tara knelt down beside the pile and picked up a slightly crumpled money order.
"It's my $47," she said softly more to herself then to the gang. Just then, there was a loud thump heard on the upstairs! (Is there an upstairs in Andrew's house? I dunno. For today, yes.)
THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!
"What the hell was that?" said Dan.
"I dunno," answered Scott staring at the ceiling. Just then, as if on cue, Andrew, tied up and gagged, thumped and fell down the stairs.
"MPPHH!" he said through the gag that gagged him.
"Dude!" shouted Matt running to help his best good buddy. "What the hell happened?" The Party People all helped untie the former RBF drummer and he sat up.
"Damn that hurt!" he said rubbing the back of his head. "What a fall."
"What happened to you, guy?" asked Aaron.
"I dunno man! Some freak who was calling himself Punk Rock Karl came in here saying he's gonna help me sell some stuff to make some money and then he beat me senseless, put me in a tutu, beat me some more, put me back in my regular clothes, beat me again, tied me up and gagged me and then threw me in a room upstairs!" Andrew explained.
"Where the fuck is he?" asked Matt, enraged that someone would fuck with his best homie. Just right then, as if it was another cue, the guy that called himself Punk Rock Karl walked in the door whistling a show tune.
"That's him!" Andrew shouted pointing at the Punk Rock Karl.
"What's going on here?" asked Punk Rock Karl. "Hey! I thought I tied you up! And who are these dorks?"
"Hey, I'm not a fuggin dork!" shouted Tara.
"Yeah!" Kiley chimed in. "The only dork around here is Scott." She paused. "And Tavis I guess."
"Wait, why me?" asked Tavis defensively.
"Look at you man!" Kiley answered.
Tavis gave Tara a confused look. "I thought you told me I was geeky. Not dorky."
"I did," said Tara, consoling her confused little trumpet boy. "You're geeky. And that's a very good thing man!"
"Why?" asked Aaron now getting into the conversation.
"Well," explained Tara, "I happen to have a geek fetish. Everyone knows that. Tavis is geeky. Scott is just a dork. Dorks and Geeks are two totally separate things. Understand?"
"Dude, what were we doing again?" asked Andrew.
"Huh?" said Matt. "Oh yeah! Punk Rock Karl! How dare you call yourself Punk Rock Karl! Only cool people do that!"
"What?" said the wannabe Punk Rock Karl. "I am cool!"
"No, you're not!" said Aaron, who is an expert on being cool since he wrote the song 'I'm Cool' after all. "You're just a Melvin who wishes he was cool!"
"Yeah!" chimed in Matt, ready to kick some Melvin ass. "No one who fucks with my best good friend AND tries to dick innocent fans out of their money could EVER be cool! Now you must die!"
"What? Die? No way dude!" said the frightened Melvin.
It was too late. Matt had grown a good 5 feet now and was kinda glowing and was screaming some Hawaiian jibberish that no one could understand. Suddenly, the dragon tattoo on his right arm started to move! Then his half nekkid chick tattoo started to move! The half nekkid women did some sort of seductive dance and Melvin was hypnotized. Dragon tattoo took his good chance right there and breathed a bunch of fire on Melvin and Melvin turned into a pile of black ash.
"Well, that's that." said Matt back to his normal state of Matt.
"Thank Buddha that's over with." said Andrew. "Thanks buddy."
"Anytime," said Matt. "I'm always glad to help."
"It's good to help people," said Dan thoughtfully.
"Yeah, and you know what?" Tara began, "I learned something today. That sometimes, it's just better to make snap judgments about people you send money to, cuz in the end you end up rescuing them from Melvin doom."
"Yeah," said Kiley.
"Well said, babe," said Tavis giving his chick a pat on the shoulder. "Hot Nooky. Right now. You get your ass up those stairs dammit!"
The petite Princess giggled. "Kay," she said and ran up the stairs as Tavis followed.
"Well, we killed a Melvin, rescued Andrew, and now there's some Hot Nooky goin down," said Aaron. "You know what that means."
"PARTY AT ANDREW'S!" Everyone shouted and they had a huge ass party. Everything turned out all right as it usually does at the closing of a Reel Dumb Story, and as it shall for as long as we know.

~*~THE END~*~

No one was harmed in the making of this Reel Dumb Story except for the wannabe Punk Rock Karl. But he deserved it. Steve is still yet to figure out Blue's Clues without the help of Tara. But that's another story for another day....

All shite written by: Tara (awsomest)