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BSB TOP 10s

Top 10s

Top 10 Things Nick Says At Home

1. Who is that cutie with the shitlocks from 'N Sync?

2. Mom, are you wearing my bra again?

3. Bro, do you mind if I borrow your bikin wax?

4. Mom, can I borrow your pink panties today?

5. I want a boyfriend!

6. Mom, is this how you put the tampon on?

7. Uh oh.. dog's making me horny!

8. Dad, mind giving me a big wet one on my lips?

9. I wonder where this broom handle goes. AAAHHHH!!! That hurt... but it also felt pretty good. I gotta show Brian!

10. Which color thong shall I wear today?
Done by Rachel

Top Ten Things to Expect in Nick's Bedroom

1. An awful stench

2. Multiple packs of glow-in-the-dark condoms in the drawers

3. A single bed

4. Fingertrap (in case condoms run out)

5. Leo & 'N Sync posters all over the wall

6. Barbie dolls lying around everywhere

7. Holes in the wall & the floor (you know from doing what)

8. Laytex gloves

9. Big cash

10. Love letters from other members of BSB

Sent in by Dark Man
Top 10 Things Nick Said When he Entered the Shower

1. Hmmm. Place looks familiar.
2. I don't recall the last time I've been here.
3. HEY! Where are all my clothes?!!!
4. It smells funny in here... oh yeah, that was me.
5. Aaahhh! I can't see! The fog!
6. What a small waterfall
7. I don't know where I am, but it looks like an adventure.
8. Hey! How come I'm soaking wet?
9. I wish the other guys were here with me right now.
10. Nice. I should come visit more often.

Done by Ray
Top Ten Ways to Know you are at a BSB Party

1. You wake up the next morning wearing lipstick, and there's a note from Nick saying "I'll call You"
2. AJ is making out with your sister's Barbie
3. 12 year old teenyboppers with 'Brian' written on their heads are there
4. Elton John is there
5. The theme of the party is "Touch it" by Monifa
6. The drunk on the couch is Howie
7. The only music Kevin is making is an imitation of a beat box.
8. You have no food because Nick ate all the food on the way over
9. You hurl constantly
10. You see hot pink condoms flying everywhere

Done by Rachel
Top 10 Problems BSB Frequently Have

1. Constipation

2. Nasty rashes from dancing with chairs too often

3. Too much milk & ice cream

4. Horniness

5. Bad headaches from putting up with obsessed teenyboppers

6. Stinky period bugs

7. The urge to flash their chests (POSEURS!!!)

8. Writer's block

9. Choosing which bras and panties to wear

10. Applying the plastic dicks
Done by Ray
Top 10 Situations BSB Has Been In

1. A New Kids on the Block & 'N Sync concert(s)

2. A catfight with Ellen

3. A brawl with 6 Piece

4. Tackling their manager (in an ugly sort of way)

5. An orgy with 'N Sync

6. Complaining to the Oscar deciders that Leo wasn't nominated

7. Trying to perform on Lilith

8. Trying to get breast implants (Nick got the biggest)

9. Got an autograph of Devon Sawa on their butts

10. All in the shower at once
Done by Ray Dark Man
Top 10 Arguments Among BSB

1. Whether or not they should admit that they really ARE manufactured

2. Whether or not they should write or play their own music

3. Who should be included in a threesome

4. Who gets to keep the award for worst pop group of the year

5. Whether or not they should admit their sexuality

6. Whether or not their sexuality is good or bad

7. Whether or not they should admit they are NKOTB wannabes

8. What they should do after the fad is over

9. Whether or not they should get lives

10. Whether or not they should let A join the BSG
Done by Ray
Top 10 Things to Do if BSB Come Near Your Town

1. Put up a sign that says "NO POSEURS IN OUR TOWN"

2. Tell them 'N Sync is somewhere 5000 miles away; that will probably lure them away

3. Any large objects to throw?

4. Quick! Prepare the thongs! They'll sure go for those!

5. Build a large cage to hold all the teenyboppers back, and release them when BSB come near so they'll get trampled over

6. Seek shelter (a bomb shelter will do a lot of good)

7. Take a vacation for a few days

8. Nose plugs and earplugs

9. Gather a party of anti-BSB to burn all the copies of their CDs

10. Rebel! Rebel!
Done by Ray
Top 10 Possible Reasons Why Nick Doesn't Have One

1. He's a girl (reasonable enough)

2. It got stuck in a Chinese fingertrap

3. It's still up AJ's ass

4. He had a sex change

5. Brian bit it off

6. It was too small to begin with

7. It just kinda shrunk

8. It's still in the chicken's ass (the one that crossed the road)

9. He sold them to buy Aaron a record contract

10. He's already got a plastic one
Done by Rachel Ray and Darkman
Top 10 Things to Do if You Encounter a BSB CD

1. The trashcan will appreciate it

2. Accidently put it in a metal crusher or a paper shredder

3. Thrash it around

4. Break it (preferably by snapping it in pieces)

5. Little kids love to abuse these things

6. Sell it to a teenybopper willing to do anything for it

7. Flush it down the toilet

8. Burn it

9. Shotput or javelin

10. Put it in an area likely to get trampled on
Done by Ray
Top 10 Musicians that Could Kick BSB's Ass

1. Metallica

2. Blink 182

3. Greenday

4. Everclear

5. Offspring

6. Korn

7. 311

8. Dave Matthews Band

9. Limp Bizkit

10. Any band
Done by Ray
Top 10 Things A.J. Thinks

1. Where shall be the location of my next body piercing?

2. What color hair should I have this time?

3. I think I'll tattoo the word "Howie" my butt.

4. Where the hell is my flowered thong?!!!

5. I'll have to keep my shirt zipped once I get my breast implants

6. This sucks. I'm surrounded by teenyboppers!

7. This job blows; at least they pay me for it.

8. Uh-oh! I'm getting horny off of Nick again!

9. I have the urge to watch Titanic for the 500th time.

10. Bi isn't such a bad thing.... I think.
Done by Rachel & Ray
Top 10 Ways to Cure Teenybopper Illness

1. I know a place where they treat the mentally disordered...

2. listen to a BSB CD over and over again, until you find out how bad it really is

3. if you can stand it that long, wait for the fad to be over

4. compare them to NKOTB. Hey! Don't they sound similar?!!!

5. 1-800-CHARTER aaaa don't you love that # ?

6. Listen to a REAL band (like OLP, Limp bizkit, or Pearl Jam)

7. how about a boyfriend? (or girlfriend, if you are a male teenybopper [ewwwww])

8. GET A BRAIN!!!!!

9. GET A LIFE!!!!

10. Try getting a hobby. that might help
Done by Ray and Rachel
Top 10 Reasons to Stay Away from BSB

1. You could get devoured by Nick or Brian's ass

2. A.J. and Kevin will try to molest you

3. They all stink, due to the cheap perfume they use

4. Howie will eat you alive

5. If you're immune to it, you could become a teenybopper! (AAAAHHHH!!!!!)

6. Nick will try to give you a lapdance.

7. They'll force you to listen to their horrible music

8. They'll force you to get in bed with Aaron Carter

9. They'll act snobbish and self-centered

10. believe me, they WON'T sign autographs
Sent in by Dark Man
Top 10 Things to Call Them

1. Backstreet Faggots

2. Backdoor Gays

3. Backhouse F---ers

4. Bullshit Boys

5. Hagstreet Uglies

6. Backstreet Bastards

7. Backstreet Queers

8. Fagstreet Pricks

9. Backshit Fags

10. Backend Terds
Done by Rachel
TOP 10 THINGS TO DO IF YOU SEE THE BACKSTREET BOYS

1. Run for your life.
2. Get teenyboppers after them.
3. Get their favorite role model in front of a bunch of teenyboppers which is BARNEY.
4. Take off their Halloween mask.
5. Find some kind of proof that they were manufactured in front of the teenyboppers.
6. Ask brain who his girlfriend and boyfriend are in front of an audience, & surely he'll say Nick.
7. Yank away their makeup kits and hold it up for everyone to see.
8. Tell them their clothes are too baggy.
9. Ask them where they buy their underwear (and they'll say "Victoria's Secret")
10. Tell them that 'N Sync are waiting for them on the bed in front of their fans. (they'll go running)

done by Venom5
Don't forget to e-mail with suggestions for the top 10s!