August 7 - Porter's. This is the bar at the Collinsville Holiday Inn. It features cigars, deep quasi-leather armchairs, and two lovely and efficient waitresses: Jasmine and ... the other one. At first the crowd was, well, quiet. Reserved, like. Shy. We amused ourselves watching the Cardinals beat up the Cubs on cable. Then a handful of Heater cognoscenti showed up and taught the locals how to applaud. After that, everything went just fine.
August 8 - Harry's. Ah, Harry's. Everybody is so young and beautiful and upwardly mobile. And we ask ourselves - what the hell are WE doing here? Making some serious dough, that's what. And gawking, of course. (Bridget - happy birthday, and thanks for spending it with us).
August 13 - Private Deal. This was a party in Clayton for the opening of some mortgage brokerage, or real estate place, or something. We got free refrigerator magnets, but some of us didn't keep them. We were a "jazz band" for two and a half hours - we didn't even set up the PA. Just instrumental junk. We pretty much pulled it off, I guess. Anyway, the last song ended at precisely 8:00, and we were torn down, loaded up and on the road at 8:18. Not bad.
August 14 - Banana Joe's. This is the hot new place on the Landing, down the alley from Boomer's. Actually, it's had many names over the years. We remember playing there when it was the Brass Rail, several incarnations ago. Nowadays the place is a money-making mach-INE. You couldn't shoehorn any more people in there on a weekend night. Cha-ching! There's a DJ inside and the band plays outside. It's really a pretty fun gig. Of course you have to put up with the usual Landing nonsense, but that's showbiz.
August 15 - Longshot Saloon. This is one of those boat-people places. It's at the marina in Portage Des Sioux, a ways up 94 north of St. Charles. The joint was packed with folks who'd been on the Mississippi all day, and when we got there they were already tanked up and ready to party. Okay! We had a good time. But let's get some mufflers on those Harleys, kids.
August 21 - Venice Cafe. This is just a wonderful place to play. The crowd is wonderful, the people who work here are wonderful, and the joint is just plain wonderful to look at. Most importantly, we can play all the self-indulgent stuff here, and nobody minds. Tonight we dragged out half a dozen songs we hadn't played for years - Hendrix's "Up From The Skies", for instance. Let's play here more often.
August 22 - Private Party. This was a 50th wedding anniversary in Collinsville. We were a little worried about this one. I mean, everybody was about seventy years old. But by God, we pulled it off. Misty, Fly Me to the Moon, Satin Doll, Mack the Knife... the hits just kept on coming. Have we mentioned that versatility is the key to this business?
August 23 - The Loading Dock. Another boat place, this time in Grafton, Illinois. This was one of those bake-all-day-in-the-afternoon-sun gigs. Of course, we don't mind the heat. All we want to do is rock on for the kids. The kids, strangely, didn't party up in front of the stage - they were sitting in the shade sipping cold drinks. They liked the Grateful Dead stuff, though.
August 28 - Harry's. Happy Hour, 5-7. Imagine what it would be like to always play two-hour shows. What a piece of cake. Those big-time bands are wimps. Not to mention they have roadies. And limousines. And, and deli platters in the dressing room. And what about groupies! Yeah, and then after you play, you get in the limousine with the deli platter and all the groupies, and there's, like drugs too, and then what if ... oh, excuse me. Sorry. Lost my head for a minute there.
August 29 - Longshot Saloon. Well, Portage Des Sioux was kind of quiet tonight. Maybe all the river folk were saving their energy for the coming Labor Day weekend. Or something. The highlight of the night was when this little white guy - we're talking 5'1", 200 lbs. - wanted to sit in and sing a James Brown song. Of course we said yes - how often do you get to see something like that? And of course he was just terrible. But he wasn't as bad as he COULD have been.
September 5 - Blues Festival, 3:00. How easy can this get? When we got there the drums, amps and mikes were already set up. We plugged in, played for an hour, got paid and hit the road. We even had fun. Actually, it's a good thing that this was an easy gig. We're getting kind of old for this two-jobs-in-one-day stuff.
September 5 - Broadway Oyster Bar. Nice crowd, nice weather. Always a lovely time here at the old Oyster Bar. We started a little late because Mark was on KMOX radio 'til 9:00 with John Carney and Bob Kuban. A drummer theme program... what's the world coming to? Anyway, he got to tell old Heater stories and generally plug the band. "Good exposure", like they say. Will it make us more money? We'll see.
September 6 - Kiener Plaza. What a day. First off, we had to wake up at an ungodly hour so we could start playing at 10:30. And it was SO HOT playing in the sun. We were pretty whiny by the time 2:30 rolled around. But it WAS a good crowd. And it WAS fun having various KMOX-types sit in with us. And we DID get paid a small fortune. So, thanks for the gig, Madeleine. We owe you. Again.
September 11 - Harry's. Happy Hour, 5-7. You know, there just isn't anything to say about this gig. Nothing happened. Well, at one point a flock of birds flew overhead. That was nice. And the sunset was very pretty on the buildings downtown. Ummmm... that's about it. We came. We played. We left.
September 12 - Tap Room. Not a big crowd at the Tap Room tonight. But the people that were there actually paid attention and applauded and stuff. This really means a great deal to us musician-types. When we look out and see people listening to us, it just somehow makes us want to play. It makes our job, well, fun to do. It's the difference between work and play, folks. Some nights we're working. Tonight we were playing.
September 13 - Broadway Oyster Bar. It was raining, so we played inside. Gosh, playing in the window sure brings back memories. All those Wednesdays, all those years. Tonight was just like the good old days. Except, of course, there used to be an actual audience to play for. Luckily we know how to amuse ourselves on nights like this. We drink.
September 17 - Lafitte's. Thursdays are "College Night" here, featuring some sort of $6 bottomless cup of beer deal. Needless to say, the crowd was working hard to make sure they got their money's worth. But they looked up every now and then to listen to the band, so everything was just fine. We got to play some new/old Steely Dan songs we'd worked up in rehearsal (yes, we are now sufficiently motivated to learn more songs). "What?", we hear you cry. "Haven't you guys learned your lesson about the futility of playing obscure Steely Dan material?" Nope. Not yet.
September 19 - Porter's. Good crowd. And they liked us. But who was the big tall guy with the mustache? Didn't we know him from somewhere? 20 North? Stagger Inn? Turns out it was Danny Cox, righthanded starter for the Whiteyball Cardinals of the mid-80's. As we were loading out, we got to wondering ... didn't he figure in the '85 World Series debacle? We looked it up. Started the second game, which the Cardinals won. Started game six, went seven scoreless innings. It was Worrel that was on the mound for the nightmare Denkinger call that lost us the game. You did good, Danny boy.
September 26 - Loading Dock (Grafton). Here's something we're tired of hearing: "Gosh, I don't know what the problem is. Usually it's much more crowded than this." Hmm. Maybe we should learn some more POPULAR songs. Like, I'll bet these river folks would have loved to hear some Jimmy Buffet. Umm ... never mind. Anyway, who needs a big crowd when you have such lovely weather? And such a lovely moon.
September 30 - Tony Bono's. This is basically a Caleco's that lives at Mid-Rivers Mall in St. Peter's. It looks and feels just like your basic Caleco's. But it's in a mall. As in, you can walk out the door and you're in the mall. Anyway, starting at 9:00 on Wednesdays you can get two drinks for the price of one. 'Nuf said.
October 1 - Venice Cafe. The really good thing about playing at the Venice is that you are not just allowed to play weird stuff, you are EXPECTED to play weird stuff. So if you want to hear Brown-Eyed Girl, it might be better to wait 'til we're playing someplace else. Or, better yet, DO come to the Venice and get to know some of the more offbeat Heaters material. You never know - you might like it.
October 3 - Wedding. These folks got married at the Dog Museum. We've been looking forward to this gig, because we really like dogs. But you know what? The Dog Museum is just stupid. I mean, think of all the really cool things you could put in a museum devoted to dogs. Info about different breeds, relics of history's great canines. Rin Tin Tin's collar, Lassie's leash. But no, this is just dumb old paintings and statues and stuff. And where, we'd like to know, are the card-playing dogs? If we'd paid the three bucks to get in, we'd want our money back.
October 8 - Lafitte's. Early in the night it was pretty slow except for a bunch of Coast Guard guys who were in town for some convention. After they left a lot more bodies showed up, but nobody was very interested in listening to the band. Too bad the Coast Guard guys had to leave - they were paying attention.
October 9 - Smitty's. Before we start to play this little guy walks in (5'2", 110 lbs, maybe) wearing an immaculate tuxedo. Sits down at the bar and spends the night chain smoking and getting plastered and talking to himself. This guy just radiates severe personality disorder of some kind. During our last break he pumps the juke box full of quarters and plays a bunch of Frank Sinatra songs. He gets all worked up, singing along, doing all the gestures, dancing. Paul the door guy explains that this is Ronnie Sinatra, who sincerely believes himself to be Old Blue Eyes. Needless to say, we get him up to sing Witchcraft and Fly Me To The Moon. He wasn't bad. So here's the great thing about a guy like this: it makes our own little idiosyncracies seem like no problem at all. If Ronnie can get by with this act, I guess we can do whatever the hell we want.
October 10 - Harry's. Baseball Bob showed up to do his amazing solo dance act. Good to see you, Bob. Unfortunately, the evening was ruined by Dan's relentless whining and complaining. We're playing outside and it's maybe 60 degrees. "I'm so cold... Feel the neck of this guitar... My hands are freezing... How am I supposed to play like this?" And on, and on. Guitar players are such wimps.
October 15 - Broadway Oyster Bar. Tonight Mark was just getting over being sick. His voice was barely available for comment, but he gutted out the vocal chores anyway. What a trooper. And Rich had the flu. He spent the first break throwing up, but he played the gig anyway. What a trooper. Of course Dan made a big deal about how vegetarians like himself don't get sick. Then after the job he went across the street and got four White Castles and a black coffee. He says a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. Whatever that means.
October 16 - Wedding. This relatively enjoyable reception took place at the Holiday Inn in Alton. Bob Werner did the gig with us, which was pretty much fun. By the way, in case you're curious as to Bobby's whereabouts these days, he can be seen at Ralph's in Alton on most Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Sundays. Call first, because if he gets a better gig he's out of there. Mr. Werner spends Saturdays playing for one of the many Galaxy bands around town, raking in the big bucks on the private party circuit. So anyway, don't worry about him - he's doing okay. A fine keyboard player will not be unemployed for long in this world.
October 17 - Crystal Ballroom, Staunton, IL. Saturday is "Rock and Roll Night" at the Crystal Ballroom. We figured that could mean one of two things in Staunton, Illinois. Either we get a crowd of middle-aged folks who are expecting to hear Elvis and Chuck Berry, or we get a crowd of not-quite-so-middle-aged folks who are expecting to hear REO Speedwagon and Journey. Luckily, it was the former scenario. To make things even easier, Curt Landis was playing piano with us, and he knows all those old songs. And he'll sing them, too, if you like. Cheerfully. He even offered to sing "Margaritaville" when somebody requested it. But somehow we never got around to doing that one.
October 19 - City Museum. This was a one-year anniversary party for the people who work at the museum. We had never been here before and geez, this place is just so damn cool. We didn't really play much, because Dan got lost in the caves right away and we were really late getting started. Then on first break Rich was trying to climb through this little tree-trunk tunnel and he got stuck. I guess we're just not as lithe and skinny as we used to be. Anyway, it took several hours to unwedge the bass player. It was pretty embarrassing.
October 21 - Johnny Gitto's. This is on Chippewa down by River Des Peres - a pretty unlikely place to try and put a blues club. But the joint is really worth visiting. They've got a nice little room going, and a 3:00 license to boot. And Johnny is a really nice guy. Too bad he lost all that money tonight. Next time he should hire a popular band.
October 22 - Broadway Oyster Bar. Thank God for the Oyster Bar. When you're down in the dumps (nobody loves us, nobody will hire us), playing in the window to a small but attentive crowd is just what the doctor ordered. And John Igoe showed up bearing Irish coins for the band - obviously a good sign. Yes, boys, this business isn't so bad after all. There's light at the end of the tunnel. Happiness is just around the bend. Maybe we can even get some more Thursdays out of this place.
October 25 - ALP Benefit, Stagger Inn. This was the ALP's annual "dip-off", and the Heaters were asked to judge the wide variety of interesting and entertaining dips that were on hand. Oh, and we played music, too. But back to the food. The band's unanimous favorite was called "Rooster Beak", a Mike Zanger concoction that was based on cilantro, lime, and avocado. It was a real treat - first you got the cilantro rush, then came a burst of fruitiness, and finally a little hot pepper afterburn. Honorable mentions went to John Pavlik's dangerously spicy bean dip, to an "Indonesian peanut dip", and to a strange corn dip that really snuck up on you. We think we should be asked to judge more contests like this. We take food seriously. But why did they make us put on wigs and dresses to announce the winners? We don't get it.
October 28 - RFT Party, City Museum. Ray Hartmann sold the Riverfront Times, and the staff threw him a party. Due to the extremely small entertainment budget, they could only afford to hire the Heaters. Highlight of the night was Ray's little speech: "I started this paper 22 years ago. I was reminiscing with my girlfriend about those days... of course, she was only five years old then." And the crowd laughed nervously. Okay, the real highlight was when they told the band to quit early because Ray wanted to let the party wind down so he could drive off in his block-long limousine and have some real fun. No, really, the best thing about the night was inflicting our music and our presence on Richard Byrne, erstwhile RFT music critic who, for some reason, has always hated this band. But are we bitter? Maybe.
October 29 - Lafitte's. The fraternity crowd sure seems to like this place on Thursday nights. Maybe it's because of that beer special: all you can drink for six bucks. No, that couldn't be it. They probably showed up because they liked the band.
October 31 - Harrah's, Riverport. We've never played a casino on Halloween before. Somehow we didn't expect a big costume party, so we didn't do the drag thing this year. Of course, the band takes this holiday seriously. Being good pagans, we sacrificed a sheep in the dressing room.
November 4 - Broadway Oyster Bar. Fun night. People showed up, the band played good. Tom and Drea were on hand - Mark was on Drea's KDHX show a few days earlier, which probably explains the crowd. Rumor has it the show is popular. She plays Hot Tuna and stuff, so check it out, y'all. In honor of the occasion, the band closed the night with a really bad, off-the-cuff version of the Airplane classic, "The Other Side of This Life". Dan got to do his Jorma Kaukonen impression. Aspiring guitarists take note: treble pickup, lots of whammy-bar vibrato. Rich leaves for Seattle next morning, so the Heaters will be unavailable for comment for a little while. See you next week, kids!
November 14 - Porter's. Well. We've been away for a while. Rich hurt himself in some sort of struggle with a mole in his parents' back yard (he lost), so he sat on a stool to play, moaning about how much his foot hurt. Dan and Mark were having too much fun to care. This business is really all right when people pay attention and applaud and dance and stuff. Our biographer Nancy was on hand for the first part of the evening, asking questions and taping our answers and generally making us feel important. Later on a bunch of folks from Indianapolis showed up and requested songs we knew and told us we were great. Life is good. Let's do this more often.
November 18 - Broadway Oyster Bar. It's been a little while since we packed a joint. Of course, technically speaking, we had nothing to do with the packing in this case. Some convention was in town, and about a thousand people from Milwaukee and Cleveland and states that begin with the letter "I" all decided to go to the Oyster Bar at the same time. And smoke cigars. And get really drunk. And fall on the band. Okay! It doesn't get any better than this! Does it?...
November 20 - Molly's. Every now and then we get to play for a room full of people who really like what we do. They applaud for solos. They know all the words to the really obscure songs. They notice all the splendid things we do that we're really proud of. They redeem our miserable, scorned, penniless existence ... -Choke- . WE LOVE YOU, PEOPLE.
November 21 - Harry's. In addition to the usual Harry's throng, lots of folks drifted in after seeing our beloved Blues play against ... whoever it was they were playing against. Among the beautiful people in attendance was Trey Wingo, erstwhile local sportscaster who has since gone on to national fame with ESPN. He stood over by Dan with a couple of moderately attractive women and was very proud of himself for recognizing a Robert Cray song we played. So Trey, really - is that your real name? We're doubting it. Speaking of names, Thurston Lawrence (formerly Lawrence Thurston) was singing with a jazz band in a different room at Harry's, and we didn't even know it until the gig was over. What a world... Well, that's it from here, and here's wishing you all a happy and safe St. Cecilia's Day.
November 25 - Broadway Oyster Bar. Why, in the old days the Wednesday before Thanksgiving at the Oyster Bar was an event of major proportions. All our fans would come out of the woodwork. What a party it used to be! Tonight, well... Cheryl and Bob showed up. And, hmm, there were a few other people there too. But we're not complaining. It is, after all Thanksgiving. And we are very thankful. Thankful that, although we are older than dirt, grey haired (some of us), a bit thick around the middle (some of us), and much the worse for wear, we are still allowed to get up on stage and play our little hearts out. Thank you thank you thank you.
November 28 - Harry's East. The newest of the popular and lucrative Harry's restaurants is located in the gray area between Fairview Heights and Belleville. Our benefactor Benet Schaeffer (the world's least weasel-like booking agent) sent us with the admonition to bend over backwards to please everybody, since he might be able to get us more work here. And God knows we could use some work. So we played quiet like mice the first set while people were dining, and then trotted out the more popular (well, least unpopular) numbers later on. Harry Himself was in attendance, and seemed pleased - although maybe he wasn't listening to the music so much as to the sound of the cash registers. And every time we turned around one of the twelve or so managers was telling us what a great job we were doing. So how 'bout some Fridays? We've got lots of Fridays.
December 2 - Broadway Oyster Bar. Mike Zitto and his band showed up tonight. It's always a pleasure to have drunken musicians in attendance. Once Mike was thoroughly plastered we got him up to sit in on guitar. He broke a string immediately - par for the course. But that was okay, since he plays better on five strings than most guys do on six. If we hadn't been trashed ourselves we might remember the name of the sax player who also sat in...
December 5 - Hannegan's. So there was this football game. Texas something against Kansas something. And there were about a zillion football fans from out of town clogging up the Landing. Making the parking cost $10. Acting stupid. Throwing up on the cobblestones. Like we don't get enough of that on Saturday night from the local talent. Anyway it was very ugly. I guess it's nice that these folks come to St. Louis to spend their money - maybe some of it trickles down to the local musicians. But sometimes you wish they'd play their football games somewhere else. Oh, yeah, Hannegan's: Nice place. Easy gig. No problem.
December 11 - C.J. Muggs. This is the CJM in Webster Groves, which is a whole different can of worms from the Clayton location. The dough from Clayton spends just fine, don't get us wrong, but the Claytonites just don't seem to have the cultural savvy which these Webster folks exhibit. A certain Heater explains that Webby G., though now a city of soccer moms and sports utility vehicles, was once a countercultural mecca. "Back in the 60's you could get really good, cheap pot here," he says. "And Gene Edelin's band used to play on Sunday afternoon in Blackburn Park. It was a happening place." Well. Judging from the crowd at C.J. Muggs, traces of that erstwhile hipness remain. In other words, they liked us.
December 12 - Porter's. Mark has had this upper respiratory thing going on for a while now, but it's really taken an ugly turn the last couple of nights. In between songs he takes out a handkerchief and makes the most grotesque noises. Rich and Dan tried to enjoy themselves in spite of this annoying distraction, but when he started coughing up pieces of his lung they realized that the situation was serious. Dan offered to take over the lead vocal chores for the night, but Mark said no, really, the physical suffering was bad enough without adding aesthetic abuse as well. And he gutted out the gig. That's why he's the owner-operator. The All-Conquering Rooster Who Leaves No Hen Untouched (a title we borrowed from Idi Amin, by the way).
December 16 - Broadway Oyster Bar. Um, let's see. John Igoe showed up. And there were a few other people there, including a guy at the end of the bar who was throwing money around all night, buying drinks for everybody, including the band. So far so good. But strange things happened. Somebody stole the Oyster Bar's wooden sign. And it seems the homeless types on the street were hitting people up for a cover charge. Weird. Come to think of it, there was a full moon. Hmm....
December 17 - Lafitte's. Nobody there. Nobody. We offered to make a deal, but they said the check was already cut so we might as well play. Cool. Let's jam. It's too bad you folks never get to see the Heaters when they're really serious about amusing themselves. It can be a pretty entertaining show. If you're in the band, that is.
December 19 - Private Deal. This was a Christmas party for a company called DBN. It stands for Digital... Digital something. What do they do? Well, it seems they are building some really cool internet something. Network. One of the guys explained it to us: "Bandwidth. If I had to describe this company in one word, it would be bandwidth. We sell Bandwidth." Okay! So everybody out there buy some bandwidth from these folks, because they pay their Christmas party bands really well. We like this company!
December 31 - Flamingo Casino, Kansas City (Backing up the Marvelettes). We left town about 8 am and rolled into KC a little before noon. Checked into the downtown Hilton - we each got a free room, complete with microwave and little refrigerator. These casinos know how to treat musicians, by God. Then over to the Flamingo to rehearse. The stage sort of juts out over the casino floor, so the band can be ignored by thousands of people at once. Luckily there's room on the main level for folks who actually want to pay attention. So anyway, there were no Marvelettes in evidence that afternoon. Nevertheless, their keyboard player and "music director" was on hand to walk us through the show. It was actually pretty surreal practicing there above hundreds of people and slot machines and so forth. We were somehow totally invisible.
Once everybody realized that the music was going to be no problem, we adjourned to the complimentary buffet and stuffed ourselves. Then it was back to the hotel for naps and showers and so forth. The weather channel was predicting the Mother of All Snowstorms for the following morning, so we decided to drive home after the gig, and we reluctantly checked out of our posh digs before returning to the casino for the show. Or rather, shows: 9 and 11.
We finally saw the Marvelettes, but only after we'd been vamping for a few minutes on their opening number ("Heatwave"). They danced on in red sequins and did the Motown girl thing for an hour. Then they danced off while we vamped on "Please Mr. Postman". Hey, wait! We're the Heaters, and we've always enjoyed your work... Actually they smiled at us sometimes during the show. Well, one of them did.
Ditto the 11 o'clock show. Well, they probably weren't the original Marvelettes anyway. But the music went fine - it's always a kick to pull off something like that. And thousands of satisfied Kansas Citians had a wonderful time. And Gary the keyboard player was a very nice guy. And a pretty young lady in a red dress (Jennifer?) asked for our autograph and had her picture taken with us. And we made it home before the snow hit (and before the sun rose). And, oh yeah, we got paid. Extremely paid. So the consensus was that this was a very successful New Year's Eve. Happy 1999, everybody!
January 2 - Porter's. We thought Porter's would cancel us due to the snow (like the Tap Room did the night before), but damned if they didn't call and ask us to show up. No problem. We figured by then the highways would be pretty clear - it had been 24 hours or so since any snow had fallen. BUT NO! What are we paying these road crews for, anyway? We could have gotten hurt sliding around the interstates like that. At least there weren't many other fools out there with us, so we could careen about freely without running into anybody. The club was pretty dead, of course, but we did get a late rush of people when the wedding reception next door let out. Those people needed to be entertained, and there we were, by God, doing our job. Unlike those lazy, good-for-nothing highway road crews.
January 3 - Balaban's. The band that was originally supposed to play here tonight cancelled because they were (we can only suppose) either afraid to drive on the icy roads (not as bad tonight, actually), or unwilling to spend hours digging out their vehicles (like we did yesterday). Wimps. Our beloved agent Benet Schaeffer offered us the gig because he knew we were mobile, having sent us to Collinsville the night before. We jumped on it - 9:00 to 11:30, good money, good crowd. Yes! Of course, we had to load out in 30 degrees below zero wind chill. But hey, it's winter. These things happen.
January 9 - C.J. Muggs (Webster). Okay, let's see. Dave Dapron was there with his lovely wife whose name we should probably know but we don't. And Richard and Patricia D. walked down from their place on South Gore. And Chrissy came, and Mike, and a couple of their friends. Oh, and Dave the drummer. And that guitar player that turned us on to Harmony Central, and his wife sat in and sang really well in spite of the fact that she was extremely drunk. And lots of other people were there. But where, we'd like to know, were Bev and Bill? We were expecting Bill to show us naked pictures of Katarina Witt. Dan was very disappointed. Hmmm... I'll bet those pictures are on the Internet somewhere. Got to go...
January 14 - Harry's East. Once again, Harry Himself was there, sitting at the bar and schmoozing with the clientele. Every now and then he walked by the band and flashed us a grin and a big "thumbs up", which we suppose means that he will continue to give us money to play in his restaurants. Which is good. In fact, the "thumbs up" became sort of a theme for the evening, since seemingly it was impossible for anybody to leave the bar without smiling at the band and shoving that stubby digit skyward. (Does the thumb count as a digit? Sure, why not.) Anyway, we guess they liked us. Although Rich informs us that in Japan the gesture has an entirely different significance. Who knows what it means in Belleville?
January 16 - Harrah's, Riverport. Two good things happened tonight. The first was that just as we were losing interest in the whole live-entertainment thing, Lori and Tom walked in the door. What a pleasant surprise! The lovely Loretta is studying historicity... historiosity... historicism... whatever. And Tom is becoming abstract. So that was good. The second good thing was that we got paid gobs of money. Do we begrudge these casinos the obscene sums they make off of poor working people who should really be using their money for groceries, or saving it for their kids' college education or something? No, we do not. Some of it ends up in our pockets. Yes, our position is clear. The Heaters proudly support riverboat gambling in the state of Missouri.
January 21 - Broadway Oyster Bar. It's always a party at the Oyster Bar. Well, if anybody shows up, that is. Tonight we had a quorum, and it was our kind of folks. The first clue was when they got all excited about one of our obscure Steely Dan songs. Well, we said, if you like that one, try this. And this. And this. Adding to the festive atmosphere was erstwhile homicide detective Billy "Bluesboy" Qualls, who sat in for a few numbers. Then Dave Hinson of Fluid Drive fame got up and played a couple. Then came a wonderful singer who blew everybody away with "Summertime" and "Respect". Her name was... Well, Mark knows it.
January 22 - Hard Rack and Billiards (Bonne Terre). As you might imagine, it was with some trepidation that we approached this gig. I mean, it looked like the classic "Don't-you-guys-know-any-Bob-Seeger?" situation. And yes, we did get a few Seeger requests. But everybody was polite, and once they got over the initial shock they seemed to enjoy the music okay. They even danced. The room was large, the ventilation adequate, and the owner was extremely nice to us. And nobody got hurt. A succesful evening...
January 23 - Harry's East. Okay, let's see. Where were we tonight? Just a minute, let me check my calendar... Oh. That's right. Harry's. The one on the east side. Of course. So... Ummm. Fact is, we don't remember anything about this job. Nothing at all. I mean, I guess we must have played, because here's the check. But let's face it, folks. Not all of these jobs are unforgettable experiences. Some are quite forgettable. This was one of those.
January 28 - Broadway Oyster Bar. Rick and Marsha showed up, and they did a fine job of audiencing for as long as they could. But it's really more fun if the crowd outnumbers the band. Especially since there are only three of us. (Those 5 or 6 office people didn't count.) So we settled up and went home at midnight. C'est la vie.
January 29 - C.J. Muggs (Clayton). This is a completely different scene from the Webster Muggs. Let's face it, Clayton is a happy-hour kind of town. The place was hopping when we arrived, but by 10:30 things had calmed down considerably. And they stayed calm all night l-o-n-g. But we got to practice some of the new stuff. If you're keeping score: A nice Willie Nelson version of "Graceland". A fine bluesy number called "Love The Life I Lead", or something. An interesting reggae treatment of "Bye Bye Love". And two instrumentals by Eric Gale that we hope will save us from having to employ "I Left My Heart In San Francisco" in those no-singing situations. Yes, we actually rehearsed this week. Why? Because we care.
January 30 - Riddle's. This was our first time in Riddle's, and everything went just fine. We had quite a crowd, especially considering that it was pouring down rain all night. We knew many of the folks on hand: Mary, Joan, Sigrid, Mel and Matt (still married), Tom and Drea, Dave and a bunch of people he brought. Everybody paid attention, made the appropriate noises of appreciation in between songs, and during the breaks told us how wonderful we were. We even got fed free for nothing. What a life we lead... Sometimes we feel guilty about how easy we've got it. And sometimes we don't.
February 6 - C.J. Muggs (Webster). The crowd was kind of thin tonight. But it wasn't our fault. It was the rain. Anyway 8-10 of those present showed up just to see us (they were spearheaded by John Igoe and his sister Nellie). So we did our part, damn it. New this week is a south-of-the-border medley: James Taylor's "Mexico" and a different "Mexico" by Souther, Hillman and Furay. (Yes, we know the fans have been waiting a long time for some SH&F.) Does anybody out there notice how clever these medleys are? Sometimes we feel like unrecognized geniuses. Like Jerry Lewis. And while we're on the subject of comedic legends, we agreed tonight that the greatest Stooge was, hands down, Larry Fine. It was unanimous. No contest.
February 11 - Harry's East. All quiet on the eastern front. We were quiet. The crowd was quiet. We came, we played, we left. Once upon a time we might have considered this to be a "boring" job. Now that we're middle-aged, though, there's something quite enjoyable about this kind of evening. It's sort of the rock-and-roll equivalent of a comfortable chair and a good book. Sometimes we're just not in the mood for excitement. It's not good for the digestion.
February 12 - St. Louis Tap Room. The upstairs had been booked for a private party, so we were shown to a cozy little room on the first floor. Just us and about six big tables. Okay, sure, what the hell. Actually it wasn't a bad idea, considering that only about 20 people showed up to hear us. The crowd would have been depressingly inadequate in the cavernous upstairs room, but down here it was just fine - an intimate little party. Better than we expected, considering everybody was doing the Mardis Gras thing in Soulard. (Dennis and Claudette - nice to see you out and about. Get a baby sitter more often...)
February 13 - Hannegan's. Tonight about 500,000 people were frenetically celebrating Mardis Gras on the streets of Soulard. Did we feel left out? Not on your life, buster. We've done our time with that sort of nonsense. Couldn't pay us enough. It was fun once. Fifteen years ago. Hmmm, well... No it wasn't. We'll take the pre-Valentine's-Day dinner crowd at Hannegan's, thank you very much. Nobody fell on our equipment. Nobody threw up on our shoes. No muss, no fuss. Thank God we're not young and stupid anymore.
February 14 - Balaban's. Hey, this was pretty much fun. There was a good crowd, mostly actual adults. Sophisticated West-End types who have excellent taste in music (they liked the band). Some of them danced. Everybody had a good time. 9:00 - 11:30, good money. Do we want to play some more Sundays here? Damn right we do. String 'em up. We'll take 'em.
February 18 - Harry's East. Towards the end of the night we see a mile-long limousine pull up in front of the restaurant, and a bunch of people pile out. The guys are expensively dressed and are all extremely short. Their "dates" are obviously rented - maybe from the same place as the limo. We're talking centerfold material here, folks. So they occupy a strategic table in front of the band and begin to party it up. The shortest and loudest guy is wearing a tuxedo. Pretty soon he comes up and announces he's a drummer. He wants to sit in. So, we say, can you actually play the drums? He swears he's a fabulous "jazz drummer". We look him up and down. You know, many people find these drums hard to play, we comment. Our drummer has very long legs. No problem, he swears, he likes a high drum seat. Jesus. Well, at least his friends will get a kick out of it, we think, and besides, maybe he's rich and powerful. Okay. But four bars into "Mustang Sally" we know we've made a big mistake. He can't keep time, and he's trying to squeeze in every cheesy drum fill known to man. So we give him the early hook. One verse, one chorus, and he's out of there. The really annoying thing was that his friends didn't seem very interested in the whole situation.... So here's the punch line. When they leave, we notice that this little bastard is the limousine DRIVER. Moral of the story: If you start toadying up to the rich and powerful, pretty soon you're toadying up to their damn lackeys. Yech. We need a shower.
February 20 - Porter's. The great thing about playing these corporate places is the fact that we can do pretty much whatever we want to do. There's no bar owner hovering around, worrying that we aren't playing anything popular. Mr. Holiday Inn isn't likely to show up to check out the band. Add to this the fact that the one couple who was paying attention encouraged us to play whatever we liked (Keith and his lovely wife whose name, alas, we do not know). Anyway, it was a pretty self-indulgent evening. We came, we amused ourselves, we got paid, we left. Which is pretty much how this is supposed to work.
February 26 - C.J. Muggs (Clayton). The couple from West County that likes the Spirit stuff tracked us down again. Note: next time we must get their names. Also occupying a front table were Marishka and - Rob? - and their son, who couldn't be more than twelve or thirteen. They stayed all night. By 11:30 or so they were actually buying the kid coffee to keep him awake. This is true. I guess his parents figured that we were an educational experience, or something. And so we are.
February 27 - Harry's East. A couple of really interesting things almost happened tonight. Mark's van, which just yesterday came home after major repairs, almost blew up on the highway. Well, not really, but Rich and Dan thought that it had, since Mark was half an hour late getting to work. Seems he went to the wrong bar. He was pretty vague about the whole thing, though, so who knows. The other really exciting thing that didn't happen was that Steven Seagal didn't show up. The martial arts expert and alleged movie star was known to be in town tonight, and we were told that he had expressed interest in dropping by Harry's. But he didn't. So - another near brush with excitement.
March 4 - Harry's East. Ssssh! The key to success here at Harry's East is to play very, very quietly. Consummate professionals that we are, this is no problem for us. People can sit right in front of the band and carry on a conversation without any difficulty. A few tables farther away and they don't even know we're there. Paying attention tonight was Bob from Belleville and a couple of his friends. He didn't bring the harmonica. And Kathy: Happy Birthday to You.
March 5 - C.J. Muggs (Clayton). What were the highlights of our evening? Well, Dan says the coffee was pretty good. And Mark brought along a Payday candy bar and ate it during the last break. And Rich says... Rich! Rich! Wake up, Rich!
March 6 - Trainwreck. This is where the old Timbers used to be, for those of you old enough to remember that establishment. And who else, we ask rhetorically, is likely to be reading this? The current incarnation features a comfortable stage equipped with lights and a big P.A. Tonight there was a very competent sound man who made us sound like a million bucks. A good thing about this venue is that there's another stage downstairs for bands that are extremely young and extremely loud. This solves the perennial Landing problem of what to do with the people who want to hear that kind of music. Here we can just tell them where to go. The folks that chose to stay with us seemed to want to hear what we wanted to play, and they went so far as to dance and applaud and stuff. So it looks like we've found another home. For those of you who are in the market for an adult Landing experience, we'll be here again on April 3, and, we hope, with some regularity after that.
March 11 - Broadway Oyster Bar. Cheryl and Bob were on hand - Cheryl braving the smoke, and Bob celebrating a birthday. Also celebrating were a couple dozen other folks, including the West County couple who now have names: Mark and Julie. Highlight of the night was an incredibly cold remark by a table of youngsters at the back of the bar. They had been staring at us sullenly for a long time, and we tried to engage them in conversation. We asked what they wanted to hear. They didn't answer. Dan ventured that perhaps they liked the Grateful Dead (often a safe bet when confronted by young guys with ponytails). "Well", they replied bitterly, "maybe our parents like the Grateful Dead". Ooh. Nev-er mind...
March 12 - Stagger Inn. It was Old Folks Night here at Stagger. Good grief, these people are as old as WE are. True, many bailed out after the first set - it was after 10:00, after all. But quite a few of the stalwart Stagger regulars hung in there 'til the bitter end. And danced, even. Of course, they were unaware of the terrific pain that Mark was playing in - but we'll discuss that some other time. In other news, it seems that Merle now prefers to be called Andrew. Somehow it's just not the same.
March 13 - Hannegan's. Okay, this was a very, very long day. We played from 1 until 5, then we took a break for dinner and played again from 7 'til 11. It was especially long for Mark, of course. His poor hands... But the good news was that although it was extremely cold again at this year's St. Patrick's Day Party on the Landing, the Heaters were NOT playing outside. Unlike the rest of those poor blighters out there in the wind, freezing their little fingers off, we were toasty warm inside at Hannegan's. Could it be that we're getting smarter as we get older? Or just luckier? Whatever. We'll take it.
March 17 - Harry's East. St. Patrick's Day at Harry's. Some green hats. A couple of R. Crumb-type redheads in short skirts. Green popcorn. And the Heaters brought out their usual Irish material: Steely O'Dan, the McTemptations. Al Green. Get it? And speaking of green, thanks for the dough, Mr. Harry Sir, and we'll see you again tomorrow night.
March 18 - Harry's East. Ho hum. Once again we prove that, whatever faults we may have, at least we are the quietest damn rock and roll band in the history of the world. Hmmm... wait a minute. Could it be that we're not a rock and roll band at all? Are we a ... gulp... lounge band ? No, wait, we don't play any Jimmy Buffet. And we don't do Desperado. And we play way too much Steely Dan. Sheesh! That was close. By the way, for those of you who were concerned about Mark's tendonitis, it seems his doctor has given him some serious drugs. So now he can play without experiencing tremendous agony. Only serious discomfort. So thanks for all those cards and letters, and you can stop worrying now.
March 20 - Crystal Ballroom. If this crowd had been at, say, the Oyster Bar, it would have been a big party. Unfortunately, the Crystal Ballroom in Staunton, IL, holds about five thousand people. So it wasn't. A big party, that is. Which just goes to show that... that... that everything is relative. Or something. Bob Werner played keyboards for us tonight, so it was a pretty fun gig in spite of the vast expanses of empty tables and chairs. What's Bob up to these days, you ask? Well, he's still doing the solo piano thing at Ralph's in Alton. Tuesdays and ... Fridays? On Sunday evenings he can be heard there with a band which probably has a name but we don't know it. John Mondin (-en?) is playing guitar, so they probably sound wonderful. Anyway, it's lucky for Bob he was with us tonight, because otherwise he would have celebrated the vernal equinox ten minutes too early. But we set him straight.
March 25 - Venice Cafe. We'd like to send a special Heater thank-you to the half a dozen people who made a special trip out to see us tonight: Rob and Rose; John and Mike; Sherry and Maura. And a regular old thank-you to the fifteen or so people who dropped into the Venice Cafe for some other reason but liked the band enough to stick around for a while. And as for you other four and a half billion people: Sorry, no thank-you today. Maybe next time.
March 26 - Casino St. Charles. Imagine a wide expanse of carpet. Across and to the left, lines form at the ticket desk. To the right we see a frozen custard stand, next to the Burger King kiosk. Straight ahead are tables for those who are waiting to board the gambling "boat", or maybe they are just taking a break from the games to wolf down a hamburger or something. A steady stream of people meanders past the stage on the way to somewhere else. As Rich commented, "It feels like we're playing on the concourse at the airport". But, we hasten to add, we're making three times as much money as we made at the Venice last night. That's show biz, folks. And yes, we still stand by our firm conviction that riverboat gambling is good for the state of Missouri. Say "YES" to money for local musicians.
March 27 - BB'sBlues. This was a benefit for Jeff Breihan, blues guitarist extraordinaire and erstwhile Heater, who is having some serious health problems in Seattle. Our local blues community put this together, and there was quite a turnout. The music started at 3 in the afternoon, and we blew in around 5-ish, en route to Collinsville. As soon as we got in the door, people started asking, "You guys aren't planning to play any blues, are you?" Now, maybe this meant that they were already weary of the endless parade of 3-chord shuffles. Or maybe they just meant to say, "We know blues, and you guys AREN'T BLUES." At any rate, we took the hint. So we didn't play blues for about twenty minutes, to everyone's apparent satisfaction. Then we hit the road. Good party. And get well, J.B.
March 27 - Porter's. At around 9:00 we started to get a lot of folks on their way home to Edwardsville and points east from the benefit at BB's. Names too numerous to mention. Between them and the many cigar-smoking Holiday Inn regulars, we had a pretty rockin' Saturday night, man. Well, by Porter's standards, anyway.
April 1 - Harry's East. We actually rehearsed this week, so we had some new stuff to play tonight. Well, new old stuff. A couple of three Eric Clapton tunes roped into one of our famous medleys ("Motherless Children", "Mainline Florida", and "After Midnight" if you're keeping score). A nice Robben Ford version of "Don't Let The Sun Catch You Crying". Some other stuff, too. Nice tunes, all. Come and see us play them.
April 2 - C.J. Muggs (Webster). A couple of old, old fans ... no, wait, that will never do. A couple of people who used to come and see the band a long, long time ago ... well, that's a little better. Anyway, Ann and Paddy, whom we know from some unspecified time in the past, tracked us down in the Riverfront Times and showed up at C.J. Muggs tonight. What a pleasant surprise to see them again after lo, these many, many years. And none of us have aged a bit since the last time! Right?
April 3 - Trainwreck (Landing). We have to tell you about the band that was playing downstairs at the Trainwreck tonight. "Mind Over Soul" is their name. We saw them as they were loading in and we thought, "Yeah, right, more young punks." But there were an awful lot of them. Turns out it's an eight-piece horn band playing all the stuff we used to play when we were their age - twenty years ago. "Cut the Cake". "Carwash", for God's sake. But they play really, really well. They've got the authentic chops for this stuff. Remember that this level of playing was rare enough THEN. How a bunch of young white guys learned to play like that in this day and age... well, we're speechless. And not only do they play, they can SING, too. And, being young, they're enthusiastic and full of energy. It was really a treat for us old guys to watch. Go see them. "Mind Over Soul". Really.
April 10 - Harry's East. Harry's tonight? We don't want to discuss it. Really, let's talk about something else. How 'bout those Cardinals? If we can continue to get this kind of pitching into September, we could have a pretty good season. Yeah, and if we can continue to get this spring-like weather into September, we could have a pretty cool summer. And if anybody at Harry's tonight besides the band and the bartender had stuck around past the second set... But we weren't going to talk about that, were we? How 'bout those Blues?
April 16 - The Note Bar. This is on Gravois, just south of Lindbergh. It seems to be quite the happening place in South County. Nice stage. Lots of lights. Serves food. A million televisions everywhere you look. At first the Cardinal game was on, but after the good guys beat up on the Astros, suddenly all the televisions were filled with this middle-aged band.... Wait, it's us! On closed-circuit TV! Wow.... Except the camera is right on Dan, of all people. Come on Dan, don't you know how this works? If a TV camera is pointed at you, you have to do something interesting. Dance. Move around. Juggle. Whatever. BUT DON'T JUST STAND THERE! Jesus, no wonder nobody wants to come and see this band. There's nothing to see. Thank God some people still care what music SOUNDS like... (Don't they?)
April 17 - Harry's East. There were about five people in the bar when we walked into Harry's tonight. Eternal pessimists that we are, we feared the worst: another dead night; the end of our employment at this lucrative venue; the end of our alleged music careers. All during setup we indulged in our customary brand of gallows humour. But then a miracle occurred. People began to show up, and by the end of the first set the joint was pretty much full. Hey, maybe our music careers aren't over after all! But by midnight we were back to five people again. Hmmm. About those careers...
April 23 - St. Louis City Hall. This was some sort of happy hour come-on to get yuppies to volunteer for stuff. Lots of wonderful do-good-type organizations set up booths to show off the wonderful do-good-type stuff that they do. There was wine, pretzels. We provided the live entertainment. No, we didn't volunteer. We really aren't very nice, although we have the utmost respect for people who are. By the way, this isn't the first time we've played the acoustically perfect rotunda of St. Louis City Hall. We did New Years Eve here in... well, who remembers? It was a long time ago. 1912, or something.
April 24 - Venice Cafe. Fun night. People showed up, including a bunch from our old 20 North days. (Hey Clay, don't forget to write. We love getting e-mail.) They drank. They danced. We felt young again. Well, Dan and Mark felt young again. Let's face it, Rich didn't feel young when he WAS young.
April 25 - Harry's East. We are not going to write about this place any more until something happens worth writing about.
April 29 - Harry's East. Really. There's just no sense talking about it.
April 30 - Casa Gallardo (Chesterfield). This was supposed to be a big party for "Cinco de Mayo". Of course, it wasn't really Cinco de Mayo, was it? It was Thirty-o de Aprilo. And you can't fool these Chesterfield folks. They stayed away in droves. It was just a normal, moderately busy Friday night, except Los Heaterz were there, cluttering up the joint. Actually, we had an okay time watching the Cardinals lose to the Expos, and commenting on all the middle-aged West County babes who seemingly have nothing better to do than hang out at the health spa, the tanning booth, the cosmetic surgeon, etc. What a strange culture these white people have developed out here. We wouldn't mind so much being members of the exploited working class if we thought that at least the exploiters were having some fun. But they don't seem to be.
May 1 - C.J. Muggs (Webster). We were cruising along, enjoying a pleasurable evening at the always-attentive Webster Muggs, when long about 11:30 the place started to get crowded. Dressed-up people. Some guys in tuxes. Women in bridesmaid dresses. A bride and a groom. Hey, wait a minute... We get paid big bucks to play wedding receptions! Oh, well, at least we got to do this one in jeans. By the way, for those of you who remember that May Day is traditionally a time for socialists and communists and so forth to express their solidarity with other working-class types around the world, we would like to say, "No more big bosses!" And what happened to the parade this year? Did something happen to the Movement and nobody told us?
May 5 - Casa Gallardo (Westport). This was the big "Cinco de Mayo" party at Westport Plaza. All the kids were there drinking margueritas. Actually they were in one tent, drinking margueritas, and we were in an adjacent tent, doing our usual Heater thing. Sometimes they paid attention. A couple of times somebody danced. Everybody got drunk, we got paid, nobody got hurt. Big success all the way around.
May 6 - Harry's East. Yup. Harry's East.
May 8 - Wedding. This reception was at the Sunset Hills Country Club in Edwardsville. During the telephone negotiations, we asked all the usual questions. What do you want us to play for the first dance? They were easy to please. Oh, whatever, they said. And how about when the bride dances with her father? Gee, they said, we don't know - any ideas? We threw out the usual father-of-the-bride stuff. How about "As Time Goes By"?, we suggested. Um, they replied, what's that? An old song from the 40's, we explained. Your father probably knows it. But, said the bride, my father is 43. Yes, dear readers, the Heaters have crossed another bridge, entered another land from which there is no return. We are older than the father of the bride.
May 13 - Harry's East. Well, Harry was at his eastern establishment tonight. With his wife. And his in-laws. And they sat right in front of the band. Harry Himself was sitting three feet directly in front of Dan's guitar amp. And did he ask us to turn down? No, he did not. Why not? Because we can be the quietest damn band in the history of rock and roll, that's why. We don't know if that gets us into the Guiness Book of Records or not, but we should at least get some sort of trophy. Or maybe belts...
May 15 - Stagger Inn. This was an afternoon benefit for Jeff Breihan, who continues to have big health problems and is, after all, Edwardsville's favorite son. We played for about half an hour, and as a special treat Glenn Jackson sat in with us on guitar. Glenn played with Mark and Rich back in the misty mists of the 70's, and he remains a fine musician. And he doesn't have any gray hair. Unlike some people. We also got to see and hear the legendary Dogs Attract Lightning. They do indeed attract lightning, and we certainly recommend that you all rush out and see them if they ever decide to play out again, which is always in some doubt.
May 15 - Venice Cafe. You know, what with places like Harry's paying our bills lately, we'd almost forgotten what it's like to turn up and play our little hearts out. Not that there's anything wrong with places like Harry's. Or paying our bills. We like the quiet jobs, sometimes. And we certainly like to pay our bills. But every now and then it's nice to turn the amps up to four, and see people dance, and have them actually applaud. All this happened tonight at the Venice Cafe. This music business thing can be pretty fun sometimes.
May 20 - Harry's East. Yes, another uneventful night at Harry's East.
May 21 - Stagger Inn. The place was crowded, they danced, they liked the band. But it's kind of strange to play the Stagger Inn and see all these unfamiliar faces. We knew a few people, of course, but by and large everybody was, well, young. We were talking to one ponytailed guy on break, who was telling us how wonderful we sound (so far so good), when he mentioned that his mother used to come and see us all the time. We're actually getting used to that one (it's never "father", come to think of it - always "mother"). But while we were tearing down, one young knucklehead wanted to get Dan's attention. "Excuse me, sir...", he said. Now that's cold. Go ahead and tell us about your grandmother the Heater fan, but you don't have to "sir" us.
May 22 - Wedding. This was the wedding party of Edwardsville's own Paul Graves, bass player and bon vivant. He didn't throw this party in the ballroom of some Holiday Inn. No, by God, we played on a flatbed trailer near wheat fields off of 159. Paul knows how to do these things right. Lots of food and drink (we brought plenty of Deep Woods Off). All the best people (this is why they weren't at Stagger last night, we suppose: saving up for today). Lots of folks we haven't seen for a long time. Needless to say, everybody had a great time, band included.
May 25 - Venice Cafe. The crowd was small but mighty. Well, it was small (very small), and moderately interested in what we were doing. Still, if you must play to five or six people on a Tuesday night, it's best to do it at the Venice Cafe, where you can seriously amuse yourself. Tonight featured a long, long version of "Low Spark of High-Heeled Boys" which included two entire Jeff Beck songs. And then we did the reggae rendition of Neil Young's "Cinnamon Girl". Well, you get the idea.
May 26 - Mr. T's. This bar is in Barnhart, Missouri, overlooking scenic Interstate 55. There were a few people drinking seriously, and a few playing pool seriously, and then there was DJ Don. Don, we love you, buddy, but really, we have been known to take breaks that last longer than 15 minutes. Especially when there are about 20 people in the bar. So you can indulge yourself next time - play four songs, pal. Live it up. Thank you Dorothea, by the way, for enthusiastically liking the band in spite of the money you probably lost on the night. Next time all of our Barnhart fans will show up, we promise.
May 27 - Harry's East. This was the last of our May Thursdays here, and, for all we know, maybe our last appearance at this beloved venue. Fittingly, there was nobody in the bar to hear us play. We mean NOBODY. We packed up and got out of there an hour early. Sheesh. They're going with a single act for Thursdays next month, we hear. A piano player or something. Hey, good idea! Of course, if you guys change your minds and need a flexible, eclectic, polite, presentable three-piece band at any time in the future, don't hesitate to call. We'd love to come back and make some more money!
May 29 - Party. This was the 50th birthday party for a very successful lawyer. We assume he's very succesful, based on the luxurious Chesterfield residence, complete with luxurious Chesterfield swimming pool. Based on the expense of this big, big party, complete with tent, caterers, real china, etc. Based on the appearance of the stepmother of his children. Based on what he was willing to pay for a band. Yes, folks, this was the trickle-down theory of economics in action. Why does society require extravagantly wealthy people? Because they spend money extravagantly, thus fueling the economy. So, you see, the apparent gross injustice of the vast inequities of income in this country are really okay after all. Or so we believe at the moment. At least until the check clears.
June 4 - Station Casino (St. Charles). We exchanged our driver's licenses for little security clearance badges at the employee's entrance (you don't just walk into one of these places). After schlepping our stuff "aboard" and setting up, we began to feel uneasy. Not only was there nobody around that seemed to want to listen to us play, there was no official-type person on hand to say hello, or even to acknowledge our existence. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe we weren't really supposed be here... But midway through the first set, a little guy in a blue uniform marched up to the stage, unsmilingly deposited an envelope on top of the p.a. speaker, and disappeared. It was our check. All was well.
June 6 - Balaban's. What a great gig! 9:00 to 11:30. Good crowd. Good money. What more could you want? Well, how about next time we don't have to deal with the little bastard with the Colonel Sanders beard, sunglasses, and stupid scarf. The guy who not only smoked cigars all night long, but carried a bag full of them and passed them out to everybody else, so that by the time we'd been playing for fifteen minutes we could barely breathe, let alone sing. We don't mean to complain but, come on, man, there's a limited amount of air in here. Can't we have a little mutual respect? Can't we all just get along?
June 11 - Wedding. This reception was at the Palm House in Tower Grove Park, which is right next to the lily ponds, so you can go out and listen to the frogs on break. There are some serious frogs in Tower Grove Park, we have learned. Another interesting feature of the joint is that this is where they put the statues of composers that used to stand around the band shell. The wind was eating away their noses and stuff, so they moved them inside. Anyway, we spent the night being stared at by this huge, horribly disfigured Beethoven, which was a little bit disconcerting. The wedding was a piece of cake (get it?). Tuxedos, three hours, no problems, no extenuating circumstances.
June 12 - Joe Hanon's. Another band cancelled here at the last minute, and since we were unemployed, we picked up the job. What band would be so unprofessional as to cancel on such short notice? We wouldn't want to name names. (Okay, it was Gargoyle Reign.) We were a little hesitant to play here, since it is a pretty mainstream dance-oriented place. "Dance-oriented" we got, but "mainstream", well... Nevertheless the lovely and talented Barb of Sun Productions (who got us the gig) thought it would be fine, especially since she herself would be the D.J. tonight, and thus could play all that "mainstream" stuff while we were on break. Which she did enthusiastically. So. Did they buy our eclectic mix of Motown, blues, old rock'n'roll and and what-have-you? Yeah, pretty much. In fact, let's do it again sometime.
June 18 - Kiener Plaze. This was one of those KMOX-sponsored before-the-ballgame jobs. We play a little, some smooth-talking radio personality talks a little, the marching band from Parkway High School plays a little, we play a little more... you get the idea. Kind of silly, but hey, that's show biz. Madeleine might be able to get us more of these gigs. Okay, you bet! Line 'em up...
June 18 - The Famous Bar. This is no longer "Jeff's Famous Bar", but simply "The Famous Bar". The new owners have classed the joint up a little while retaining the "neighborhood bar" ambience. This is a nice place to play - people pay attention, and even applaud and stuff. Cheryl and Bob showed up, also David S. So we had a good time, in spite of this being the second gig of the day. (We usually get pretty cranky when we don't get our nap.)
June 19 - Schatze's. What is it about Belleville? We've always had a strange relationship with this town. For some reason the people there just sit and STARE at us. Tonight was no exception. Maybe they don't know how to express their true feelings. They probably really like us, but they're just shy. Yeah, that's it. We got this job, by the way, as a result of our exciting new booking strategy: We leave open as many dates as possible so that if somebody needs a band at the last minute, we're available. It's worked like a charm this month.
June 22 - Venice Cafe. Ah, Tuesday night. During the first set the crowd fluctuated wildly, between the extremes of three people and, oh, nine people. We flirted with double figures for a while, but every time somebody walked in, somebody else walked out. Finally by the end of the second set the crowd had stabilized at an even two. Luckily those two were having a wonderful time. Then during the third set something miraculous occurred: The crowd tripled in size! You just never know. (There wasn't a fourth set.)
June 25 - Boomer's (Litchfield). No, not THAT Boomer's. This one is in Litchfield, IL, about an hour north on 55. Nice place, too. We were a little, um, doubtful on the way up there. I mean, sometimes these central Illinois types just don't fucking GET it. But everybody was real polite. They listened, they applauded, they even danced a little bit. Affable, urbane Tom the bartender explained the scene to us: The building is a turn-of-the-century granary or dairy or something, and Steve bought it about a year ago and dumped a ton of money into it. The Litchfieldians haven't entirely figured out yet what a great place they have been given to party in, but they're catching on. We're going back the 23rd of July.
June 26 - Note Bar. Who says that only Philistines live in South County? After a few songs tonight, we began to realize that these people weren't just tolerating the band, they really liked the band. On break they sought us out and told us we were wonderful. Told Mark he had a great voice. Told Dan he was a great guitar player. Told Rich ... he was a handsome old goat. (Not really. But they bought him drinks.) We haven't mentioned it lately, but we love this business. Show business is our life.
July 2 - Station Casino (St. Charles). We couldn't get to our customary load-in door due to high water. That's right, these places are on rivers, aren't they? Anyway, after driving around for a while in a confused manner, we finally found the correct entrance. The only entrance, that is. Miles, of course, from the stage. But being the healthy, athletic types that we are, we didn't mind lugging our equipment all that way. (Maybe our cheerfulness was also related to the thought of all that money we were going to get.)
July 3 - Station Casino (St. Charles). A gang of about thirty children showed up during the first set and hung out for a long time in front of the stage. Hey, what's going on here? This is a casino, for God's sake! What's happening to family values in this country? Is this a scout troop working on their gambling badge or something? Sheesh. Later on the gig sort of bordered on fun for a little while. People were digging the music, bopping in their seats, applauding after each song. That was between, oh, 10:45 and 11:00.
July 4 - Balaban's. Once again our strategy of staying unbooked has paid off. Somebody cancelled at Balaban's and we got the gig. And what a great gig it is, too. One of our favorites: Good crowd, good dough, short hours. Hey, c'mon, when's the last time you saw a national act play for four hours? No sirree, they give it their best shot for two hours or so, then it's back to the hotel with the groupies and the good drugs. Music like it oughtta be.
July 7 - Mr. T's (Barnhart, MO). Well, there were about 15-20 people in the bar, but they were either shooting pool or they were sitting as far from the band as possible. Nevertheless, as Mark said somewhere during the interminable first set, this kind of gig gives us a chance to hone the act. Smooth out the rough edges. Refine the show. Yup. That's how we look at it, all right.
July 8 - Hacienda. This is the Hacienda on Manchester in Rock Hill. They've decided to have bands outside on Thursday evenings (5:30-9:30) during the summer. ("Only St. Louis' BEST bands!" reads the advertisement. That's right, damn it.) They had quite a crowd tonight. More importantly, from our point of view, about halfway through the night a couple plopped down at a table in front of the band and began to actively listen to the music. They smiled. They nodded. They applauded. Wow, what a difference it makes when somebody listens! We stopped making mental grocery lists and planning what we were going to have for dinner tomorrow night. We began to pay attention to what we were doing again. I mean, if those two people are going to care about this, I guess we'd better care about it too.
July 9 - Stagger Inn. How could you not love to play the Stagger Inn? What a great bar. What ambience. What a great crowd. And tonight was Ed Mantin's 50th birthday. Needless to say, a splendid time was had by all. We'd write more, but we're just too hung over.
July 10 - Race Cafe. This is a new place in O'Fallon, IL. Nice joint, nice folks. And when it comes to the decor, these people don't believe in mixing metaphors. Here at the Race Cafe, it's a car theme all the way. On break we spent a great deal of time discussing possible new names for the band. (You never know when the dreaded North Carolina lawyers will demand that we cease and desist using their clients' copyrighted name.) We can't print most of the new names we came up with. Ask us about it in person. No, come to think of it, we probably still wouldn't tell you.
July 14 - Mr T's. Back in Barnhart. Some of the folks we met a few weeks ago at the Note Bar had threatened to show up here, and sure enough, there was... uh-oh, we've forgotten her name. Anyway, she came in after her softball game and dragged along another team member. These two did the lion's share of the listening for the night. When our new friend found out that Dan had gone to Webster Groves High School, she started making a big deal out of the fact that she had gone to Kirkwood (Go Pioneers!). It seems that there's some big football rivalry between these two affluent suburbs. Dan, of course, has never seen a football game in his life. And he barely remembers high school. But he does have a vague recollection of once scoring some pretty good blotter acid from some people in Kirkwood.
July 16 - JP's Corner. This is one serious South County bar. As you might expect, they like to do that Imperial dancing thing here. But, being the Jules Blattner veterans that we are, we know how that works. No problem. Speaking of the Uncle Jules era, Rick and Debbie showed up tonight. A blast from the past. And the Pioneer lady was back, this time with a whole table full of folks. If she comes back again, we're going to have to learn her name.
July 17 - Private Deal. This was an upscale charity event put on by a country club in Belleville, IL, to raise money for breast cancer research. It felt pretty much like your basic wedding, except that instead of the throwing of the bouquet and the cutting of the cake, they did the raffling of the Cardinal tickets and the announcing of the results of the silent auction. We're really good at this kind of gig by now. Generic jazz during dinner. Some swing stuff for the older folks. Bring out the Motown to make everybody dance. Consummate professionals, that's us. By the way, we'd like to take this opportunity to say that our record is clear: We have always been in favor of breasts, and we support them unequivocally.
July 22 - Hacienda. In spite of the fact that we were playing outside in something like 150-degree weather, this was a pretty fun gig. A sizable crowd showed up to listen to the band... Well, maybe they showed up for some other reason, but they stayed to listen to the band anyway. Whatever. Mark and Rich sweated like pigs but played their little hearts out. Dan, of course, being part lizard, remained totally unaffected by the heat.
July 23 - Boomer's (Litchfield). Um, how 'bout those Cardinals? No, really, maybe this wasn't the most crowded Friday in the history of this bar (or this band), but it wasn't an unpleasant experience, now, was it? Once again, the affable and urbane Tom was affable and urbane behind the bar... And of course, for those of you who want to keep your finger on the pulse of events in the field of invented international languages, this was the first day of the annual convention of the Esperanto League for North America. Okay! Saluton al vi, Esperantistoj!
July 24 - C.J. Muggs. The Heaters always have fun at this bar. Why? Because the Webster Groves-ians here just have such wonderful taste in music, that's why. They like us. And we like them. It's a reciprocal, kind of symbiotic-type thing. Tonight also marked the return of Melissa, who for several years has been in Florida. She got married. She got divorced. C'est la vie. Welcome back to St. Louis, Melissa, or as those Esperantists would say, "Rebonvenon al Sankta-Luiso!"
July 29 - St. Louis Tap Room. This was originally supposed to be an outside deal, a little street festival to keep people downtown after they got off work. Promote the city's night life, and so forth. For some reason they moved it indoors. We can't imagine why. Could it have been something to do with the temperature outside: 105 degrees? Surely that wouldn't keep Heater fans away. Would it?
July 30 - Fairmount Park. Very strange gig. We played in between the horse races. (Poor dumb beasts. It's a hundred degrees out there! We're calling PETA.) Of course, there's a race about every twenty minutes, so it was a very unusual schedule for us: Play for ten minutes, take five, play for twelve, take eight. This went on from 6:00 until 11:30. Very disorienting. By the way, this might be a fun excursion for those of you who've never played the ponies. Five bucks gets you into the giant bar with the free buffet and the one-dollar bottles of beer. You can watch the horses run all night and lose as much money as you want to. Oh, yeah, and there's a live band.
July 31 - Private Party (Wright City, MO). This was a 70th birthday party. We are not making this up. It says right there on the Heaters business card: "We'll do anything". Of course, this wasn't just anybody's 70th birthday party. It was for the father of Chris, the bartender at 20 North. So. No problem, we're there. One interesting thing: Who shows up but the guy who hired us for a private party in Chesterfield a while back. "Gee," we thought, "Sure hope he didn't read what we wrote in the journal after that one." Which led us to wonder: Maybe this journal idea isn't so bright after all. And as Uncle Jules would say, "Does it make us more money?" Furthermore, it's getting a bit difficult to think of stuff to write, sometimes. Hmmm. It's been almost a whole year. Maybe it's just about time to pull the plug on the old Heater Journal.
August 3 - Venice Cafe. Well, if we're going to play someplace on a Tuesday night to a crowd that doesn't outnumber the band by much, we might as well play at the Venice Cafe. Everybody is very nice here and we can play whatever we want to. And of course there are so many interesting things to look at. If you haven't been to the Venice lately, go and check out the giant mushroom statue in the middle of the courtyard. It is way cool.
August 5 - Kiener Plaza. Wow! So many people came to see us that you could barely find a parking place downtown. We were really flattered. But why was everybody wearing red shirts? Maybe they figured that since they would be downtown anyway to see us, they might as well go to the ballgame and watch Mark McGwire hit his 500th home run. Anyway, thanks to all of you. We didn't even know we had so many fans. We're speechless.
August 7 - Riddle's. This is a great place to play, and we always have a wonderful time, but why does it always rain when we play here? Very strange... More importantly, we have now been writing these journal entries for an entire year now, and we are going to stop doing it now. We devote so much time to the journal that we barely have time to ... to... to do all those other really important things that we really have to get done now. So thank you all, and we'll see you on the funway!
We may need to clear out of here in a hurry. You know how it is. Things happen.
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