PWL CANADA DAY SPECTACULAR
~ results ~

THURSDAY 1st JULY 2004
AIR CANADA CENTRE
TORONTO, ONTARIO

Your Announcers: KERMIT THE FROG, MADAME, MONDO MBAMBA, THE TRAIN, and VICIOUS VIVIAN.

OPENING MATCH: JUSTIN TOXICATED (with Lord Barleycorn) vs.
TOWER-CLIMBIN' JACKASS

• Toxicated made his first PWL "defense" of his self-sanctioned Toxicated Title against a gentleman who has seen much, if any, success since joining the promotion. With the loud, cane-wielding Barleycorn cheering him on, Toxicated made quick work of his lesser opponent, finishing him off in less than six minutes. In actuality, the match could have been completed much sooner, but the arrogant Toxicated toyed mightily with TCJ during the bout. Nevertheless, the Toronto crowd was clearly pro-Justin, likely due to both his history in the area and the utter incompetence of his foe.

RESULT: TOXICATED defeated JACKASS (atomic spinebuster + pinfall) at 5'51".

NORTH AMERICAN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT - QUARTERFINALS

• HUMAN TORNADO def. ANIMAL (glancing kick to head + pinfall) at 7'08".
• WHOLE LOTTA MAN def. SWAMI YOGANTI (belly-to-belly suplex + pinfall) at 5'22".
• DICK DARLINGTON def. CURLEY TEMPLE (flying kneedrop + pinfall) at 11'29".
• BIG SID SMITH def. SUPER HORNET (brainbuster + pinfall) at 9'49".

ADVANCING TO SEMIFINALS: HUMAN TORNADO, WHOLE LOTTA MAN, DICK DARLINGTON. BIG SID SMITH.

SIXTH MATCH: MASHED POTATO vs. MIRTHQUAKE (with Prince Vicious)

• His Canada Day Egg plans foiled at the border for "security reasons," Mashed Potato volunteered to wrestle for all his fans in Toronto. His opponent turned out to be Mirthquake, a man Prince Vicious recently hired to be his valet. After a lengthy speech in which Vicious revealed Adrian Queen and Wild Pansy were "somewhere in Toronto searching for Buddy Cole," the match began. Though known more for his eggs than his wrestling acumen, Mashed Potato put on a veritable grappling clinic against Mirthquake, who demonstrated why he was hired to be a valet and not an in-ring competitor. After Mashed put his opponent away, he celebrated in the audience with all his fans, while Mirthquake was consoled by Prince Vicious and some unidentified mustachioed, beleathered gentlemen.

RESULT: MASHED POTATO defeated MIRTHQUAKE (Bulldoggie* + pinfall) at 7'34".

*-not to be confused with a Bulldogga.

SEVENTH MATCH: FENWICK GRENCHER (World cruiserweight champion) vs.
X-PAC (WWF light heavyweight champion)
(to unify the two championships)

RESULT: FENWICK GRENCHER defeated X-PAC (top rope powerbomb + pinfall) at 14'02"
to unify the World cruiserweight and WWF light heavyweight championships.

EIGHTH MATCH: THE PILLARS OF PAIN (Golem and Quartz) vs.
RALPHS PRIDE (Whatawrestler and Wrestlerschnitzel, with Ralph)

• The most recent Egg Surprises had the unenviable task of taking on one of the most dominant tag teams in recent PWL history. Though their exit from the PWL a few years ago was humiliating, the fans gave them a rousing ovation here. The Pillars were thoroughly dominant in the bout, and would clearly have scored a win via pinfall or submission. However, the match was interrupted by the unscheduled appearance of Teethwood Slack, who have some sort of unexplained loathing of Golem and Quartz. Though they were outnumbered by Dr. Teeth, Sgt. Floyd, Animal, and Zoot the Bodyguard, the POP more than held their own in the after-match brawl to the back. Meanwhile, Ralph and some PWL Suits scraped His Pride off the mat and carted them to the back.

RESULT: THE PILLARS OF PAIN wrestled RALPHS PRIDE to an apparent no-contest at 4'44".

NORTH AMERICAN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT - SEMIFINALS

• HUMAN TORNADO def. BIG SID SMITH ("Oriental spike" + submission) at 13'13".
• WHOLE LOTTA MAN def. DICK DARLINGTON (facebuster + pinfall) at 10'52".

ADVANCING TO FINALS: HUMAN TORNADO and WHOLE LOTTA MAN.

ELEVENTH MATCH: THE TERROR vs. "Generalissimo" TOM HORNER
(for the MWF heavyweight championship)

RESULT: THE TERROR defeated TOM HORNER (Terror Spike + pinfall) at 11'36"
to retain the MWF heavyweight championship.

NOTE: As this match took place in Canada, Horner's Missouri State championship was not on the line in this match.
Also, while the PWL recognizes the MWF heavyweight championship and allows it to be defended at PWL events, it does not recognize its claim as a "World" championship, and does not sanction its title defenses.

NORTH AMERICAN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT FINAL:
HUMAN TORNADO vs. WHOLE LOTTA MAN

• The appearance of Human Tornado did not seem to interest Whole Lotta Man very much. However, he did seem more than compelled by the ringside appearance of Human Tornado's plentiful, ever-increasing All Girl Army. Their appearance alone would cause an immense distraction for most of Tornado's opponents, if not for their beauty, then for their extensive martial arts expertise. Strangely enough, Whole Lotta Man appeared to use them as his source of inspiration. Every time Human Tornado put WLM down with a combination of wrestling skill and martial arts, Whole Lotta Man bounce back, not unlike a human Weeble. This annoyed Human Tornado greatly, and he lost his focus as a result. Undeterred by his opponent's assault, Whole Lotta Man fought back with a series of punches, kicks, and well-placed chops. Thanks to his ever-increasing waistline, Whole Lotta Man's big splash proved effective enough to stun Human Tornado long enough for the pinfall and victory. Afterwards, Whole Lotta Man crowed over his title win, stating that "the Human Tornado has just experienced what it feels like to be kept down... by The Man! And to my newfound fans over there, the lovely All Girl Army...I hope you realize you have just seen a real man in action, bay-bee! After all this time with that nobody, you girls saw what happens when the Whole Lotta Man gets his dander up."

• RESULT: WHOLE LOTTA MAN defeated HUMAN TORNADO (big splash + pinfall) at 14'00"
  to win the North American heavyweight championship.

MAIN EVENT: BEN TRAYMOR vs. SHOGUN WARRIOR
(for the World heavyweight championship; special guest referee Xuoszchang)

• Traymor's first major defense of the World heavyweight championship was against the world-renowned former International champion, Shogun Warrior. As an added ingredient, wrestling great Xuoszchang was chosen as special guest referee for this bout. Due to a "special exemption" by the PWL, only one fall was needed for either man to end this championship match. Neither wrestler had a huge advantage as a result of this, as North American and International title matches, of which Traymor and Shogun have vast experience, both use the one-fall formula. Traymor and Shogun had different approaches to this match. It seemed that Shogun Warrior's plan was to finish the match as quickly as possible, ideally with quick takedowns before a submission finish. Ben Traymor, already a wily competitor, opted to pace himself in an attempt to make Shogun wear himself down before the champion could easily finish him off. That is exactly what happened, as Shogun Warrior tired relatively quickly, and Traymor was able to undertake a series of precision holds before the big blow, a Tornado DDT. A three-count later, Traymor was a successful defender of the World title. In post-match interviews, Shogun Warrior explained that "I was trying something I thought Mr. Traymor might not expect. He is very capable, yet still very young in this profession. Clearly, Mr. Traymor proved that he is not a pretender to the throne. That proved unfortunate for me this evening, yet it is a quite fortunate thing for us all that the true World heavyweight championship is in accomplished hands such as his." Ben Traymor praised his opponent's experience and wrestling style, noting that "Joe The Giant told me that everybody, friend and foe alike, would pull no punches to take the World title from me. Shogun Warrior proved tonight that he is one of the all-time greats, and I think I proved that my title reign is not some fluke. I showed people in the PWL and beyond that the title of World heavyweight champion is something I have earned, and is something I deserve." That last comment drew some grumbles from the Terror fans in the audience.

RESULT: BEN TRAYMOR defeated SHOGUN WARRIOR (Tornado DDT + pinfall) at 20'45"
to retain the World heavyweight championship.

Copyright 2004 Big Stewie Entertainments Corporation.