PWL BIGTIME WRESTLING - 7 January 2002

PWL BIGTIME WRESTLING LIVE!

Monday, January 7, 2002 - Detroit, Michigan.

Announcers: KERMIT THE FROG and MONDO MBAMBA. They were announcing the line-up for the programme when a camera behind the arena showed a white limousine pulling up to the arena.

First Match: ? (QUESTION MARK) pinned NONAGON in 6'44" following the Ask Kick.

Backstage, PWL President GENE WEST was shown, face to camera, chatting with four visible, yet unidentified, people, plus what appeared to be a shadowy figure by their side.

Adverts for Yuga soup, Toothy Boothy, Yuga soda, the Bernice Corporation, and Timmy's Tea Leaves.

Second Match: In their PWL debut, PAUL MAUL and CONRAD PAIN defeated THE ELECTRIC MAYHEM in 5'54" when Pain pinned Floyd following the Diff'rent Stroke. After the match, Maul attacked Dr. Teeth and performed his signature maneuver, the Diff'rent Smoke.

Backstage, Gene West was seen chatting with Filth E. Pigg, Ultimo Puerco, Road Pigg, and Miss Piggy, apparently begging them not to proceed with an idea they had. They refused his request and leave the camera shot, as West shook his head.

Adverts for upcoming new Fairchilde Channel F programmes, Yuga beef jerky, Taco Bert's, and Chewie Pickles.

Backstage, Guy Smiley attempted to interview The Kentucky Fried Tag Team when they were attacked by the returning Midnight Express (Beautiful Biff and Sweet Sully) and their manager, R.R. Victor.

A second look behind the arena was telecast, featuring the white limousine. It seemed to be turned off, but the headlights were still on.

Third Match: GRIMACE (with RONALD McDONALD) pinned SWAMI YOGANTI in 6'10" following the Purple Shake. After the bout concluded, Grimace was suddenly and mysteriously attacked by PWL cult favourite Ben Traymor. As Traymor stormed to the backstage area, he was passed at the curtain by Pigg, Puerco, Pigg, and Piggy.

Adverts for Paravale Wrestling Limited, Yuga pasta, Swifty Lube, Yuga sandwich spread, and Fluffy Pillow Co.

Guy Smiley interviewed Ben Traymor backstage. "I did what I had to do," Traymor said. "Flames didn't stop me, curtain-jerking couldn't keep me down. With a little help from my friends, so to speak, I will rise to new heights in the PWL. This will be the year of the Traymor, I can feel it."

At the announcers' table, Kermit and Mondo loudly wondered what was going on with all the new and returning PWLers, when the Piggies motioned for Kermit to enter the ring. Miss Piggy spoke: "Have you seen the little Piggies? No, of course you haven't, thanks to people like you, Frog, and all the others out there. We're all in this business to get noticed, and the best way to do that is to win titles. Well, thanks to the 'backstage machine,' Ultimo, Road, and Filth E. have been held down for too long. Since you won't let us win the gold, we're gonna hafta resort to other means to get our much-deserved attention around here. So, you can say goodbye to the Piggies, Frog..." Kermit shuddered, anticipating the worst. He received it with Miss Piggy's final line, "...and say 'hello' to PORKY'S!" Kermit displayed his trademark 'disgusted' look into the camera as Porky's celebrated behind him.

Backstage, Guy Smiley was equally appalled at he preceding segment when he was approached by Professor Bunsen Honeydew, who crowed, "Lookit, Smiley. The contract is signed, sealed, and delivered. The entire world has been asking me when the inimitable Beaker would steamroll over the PWL. Well, look who's here, baybeh!" Honeydew turned around to introduce Beaker, who was nowhere to be seen. The segment ended with the Prof. shouting for Beaker throughout the backstage area.

Fourth Match: SUPER HEAVY pinned ANIMAL of The Electric Mayhem in 2'59" following a finishing maneuver of some sort.

Adverts for Fairchilde Channel F programmes, Yuga navy beans, E-Z Brewed Beverages Ltd., and Yuga ice cream.

Fifth Match: SOUL GLO (DONNIE GOSSETT and BLACKMALE) defeated THE WHO-NE-2 MEN in 5'59" when Blackmale pinned WN2 Man #2 following the Silky Smooth.

Kermit and Mondo continued discussing the shocking appearances from the evening when video footage, purported to be "live," was shown of the white limousine in the back of the place. The chauffeur exited the car, and opened on of the back doors. In classic TV cliffhanger fashion, an ad break was inserted at this point.

Adverts for Yuga egg nog, Toothy Boothy, Yuga chocolate bars, Swifty Lube, and Yuga pre-packaged steaks.

Sixth Match: EXTERMINANS pinned STARSHINE HIPPIE in 6'27" to retain the North American heavyweight championship.

Backstage, a large, bald man dressed in white (with his back to the camera) approached Gene West. As West saw him approach, he threw his arms in the air, saying, "This is all I need. At least we didn't fire you before, like those guys I dealt with earlier."

Kermit and Mondo almost attempted to speak when GENERAL ZOD, NON, and URSA entered the stage. Zod began shouting into the microphone. "We know you're here! We saw you backstage now. Show yourself, and meet your fate!" He continued his tirade into the ad break.

Adverts for Yuga Bloody Mary mix, Petrol 'n' Depart, Yuga chicken nuggets, and Fairchilde Channel F programmes.

Seventh Match: GENERAL ZOD pinned TIMOUTHEY in 12 seconds. Though Zod seemed angry at Timouthey's existence, it appeared Timouthey was not the subject of Zod's earlier tirade. As Zod, Non, and Ursa stood in the ring following the match, the house lights shut off. As flashbulbs illuminated the building, the sounds and faint sights made it clear something was a-brwein' inside the ring. As the lights came back on, fans was stunned to see Zod remain standing, but Non and Ursa were slumped in separate corners behind him. Also behind Zod, but standing, was the bald man dressed in white. Of course, by now you will have correectly guessed him to be the one and only "Kingpin," WILSON FISK. Zod turned around, he and Fisk engaged in a brief staredown, and the two proceeded to brawl all the way backstage.

Gene West fretted backstage about the various newcomers when he saw the people he chatted with after the first match saunter toward the rampway leading to the ring.

Adverts for Yuga pork pies, Toothy Boothy, Yuga banana milk, Fluffy Pillow Co., and Yuga Welsh rarebit.

Eighth Match, Tee-Vee Main Event: World tag champions LONG SWEET LIPS (FOOT and TANKA SATCHMO) wrestled THE PILLARS OF PAIN (GOLEM and QUARTZ) to a no-decision at 4'19" when the house lights once again went off. As with the Zod/Kingpin scene from earlier, there were flashbulbs aplenty and sounds of mayhem emanating from inside the ring. The lights went back on, both LSL and the POP were strewn about ringside, Kermit and Mondo were shocked into silence, the crowd gave a loud ovation to the return of...

SHAGGY.

FREDDY.

DAPHNE.

VELMA.

and SCOOBY-DOO himself.

After an absence of over three years, The Scooby-Doo Gang have returned to the PWL. The show ended with the five soaking in the fans' reaction, as Gene West looked on from the curtain, with an expression on his face that showed many emotions, none particularly positive.