APRIL 17, 2000 - BLETCHLEY'S, INDIANPOLIS, INDIANA.
Match One, Midgets' World championship: NAUGA (champion) vs. CAP'N CRUNCH (challenger). The Cap'n has been looking forward to this for weeks, since he lost the belt at WrestleRama, and Nauga winning it there. For the first time in ages, Crunch made no attempts to intentionally disqualify himself during this match, and proved a wily opponent for the determined champion. This match concluded in a ten-minute draw, one of the top midegt bouts in quite some time in the PWL.
Match Two, 3-on-1 handicap match: GRIMACE vs. THE FATSOS and BEN TRAYMOR.as is usually the case with these types of bouts, the three curtain-jerkers were the ones with the disadvantage against the beastly Grimace. The Purple Mammoth made quick work of his foes here, pinning Traymor for thw in in 3:26. Grimace then threatened announcer KERMIT THE FROG before being led away by security.
Match Three, Women's World championship: DARK ANGEL (champion) vs. THUMBELINA (challenger, w/ AUNT RHODY). Before the match began, Thumbelina asked Kermit how dark Angel was the champion after the title had been help up by the PWL. Before he could answer, Angel blindsided the challenger and the match was underway. Dark Angel worked over Thumbelina inthis match, and though she tried valiantly, the challenger was rather unable to stage a comeback after the initial attack from the champion. Dark Angel scored the win to retain the championship in 7:43.
Match Four, World cruiserweight championship: STARSHINE HIPPIE (champion) vs. KARATE MAN (challenger). Both champion and challenger had asked PWL President GENE WEST to make this a thirty-minute bout for the c-weight strap, and he gave it the OK. This match was a high-flying, non-stop, back-and-forth battle between two top-notch grapplers. It was much like their title match last Friday, excpet this one lasted ten minutes longer. This one ended in a thrity-minute draw, with Starshine retaining the belt as a result.
Match Five, 6-Man Tag: IGGY, FRANKIE, and SIGGI SHROYER (w/ WEIRD HAROLD and FIGGY SHROYER) vs. LONG SWEET LIPS (M. KLEATS, FOOT, and TANKA SATCHMO, w/ MONDO MBAMBA). The Shroyers showed no depression after their brief North American tag reign was snapped on Friday night, and they took LSL to the limit in this match. To Mondo's chagrin, the Shroyers emerged victorious, with Siggi pinning Tanka Satchmo in 8:22 for the victory. The Shroyers celebrated, but that too was cut short by the arrival of BUTCH, BOZO, and HERMAN, who brawled with the Shroyers for several minutes before PWL Security returned from their milk 'n' cupcake break.
Match Six, Special Tag Match: COOLEROY and FAT ALBERT vs. SCHOOLHOUSE ROCKY and BIG SID SMITH "The Neighborhood Bully" (w/ "Mean Old" MR. McMASTER). Lo and behold, the PWL proceeded with this angle and turned it into a big tag battle. The North American champeen and The Fattest Man in Wrestling against SHR and BSS. "The Schoolhouse Rock" was not at all pleased to be involved in this bout, and made it extremely difficult for his tagmate in the process, by refusing tags, shouting at the referee, slapping Mr. McMaster around, and the like. Big Sid finally had enough, and attempted to show SHR a thing or two in the ring, but Rockybeat him to it and turned on him instead. SHR knocked Smith out cold with a melting pot, then left as fans booed louder than they ever have, save for the average Terror appearance. Fat Albert pinned Big Sid in 6:10 to secure the win for Cooleroy and himself.
Match Seven, World tag team championship, 3-Team Match: THE NEW ORDER (GENERAL ZOD and NON, champions, w/ URSA) vs. THE PILLARS OF PAIN (GOLEM and QUARTZ, challengers) vs. SETH and HUMAN TORNADO (challengers). Both sets of challengers went after Zod and Non from the outset, with the rules being that of an elimination sort. New champions were assured at the 7:23 mark when both Golem and Tornado pinned Non for the three. The New Order remained unfazed, though, as the threesome remained at ringside for the remainder of the match. The two sides brawled for several minutes thereafter, and POP took control of the bout. Quartz finished off their fellow challengers by pinning the massive Seth for the win in 14:12. Your winners and NEW World tag team champions, THE PILLARS OF PAIN! Afterwards, Zod grabbed the mic and demanded a title shot for sometime down the road, if anybody remembers it.
Match Eight, Main Event, World heavyweight championship: THE TERROR (champion) vs. SUPER HEAVY "The Obese Luchador" (challenger). As the match went underway, PWL President GENE WEST showed up at ringside and talked with Kermit the Frog at the announcers' table. He told Kermit that Terror has been an absolute disgrace since arriving in the PWL. West had been told great things about Terror by JOE THE GIANT and BIG STEWIE, and he had brought him in because he trusted their opinions. West continued, "The way he has conducted himself here has been disgusting. Treating everybody rudely - the Suits, other wrestlers, the fans, even his supposed "friend" Cap'n Crunch - skipping important cards and fan fests. That selfish punk has been a thorn in the side of everybody associated with wrestling for years now, and I think it's about time that he should be stopped." With that, Gene West stood up and walked past the ring on his way out. As he walked near The Terror, West said something to the effect of, "Joe's not here to save you anymore," and walked to the back. Terror was confused, but did not lose focus of the match like we have. Terror was able to execute the Terror Spike on the still-new Super Heavy, and won the match to remain World champion win a pin at 10:21.