from whammyburger center, kansas city, mo.
The show began with KERMIT THE FROG and GUY SMILEY recapping the events from WrestleRama 14. World heavyweight champion THE TERROR arrived, boasting that he has now defeated everybody the PWL has thrown at him, and he is still on top of the organization. PWL President GENE WEST showed up to inform Terror that he has proven himself to be one of the greatest PWL champions, but he still has a long road ahead if he wants to be condiered the greatest champion in PWL history. West promised that Terror will experience some tough bouts in the next few months, starting tonight, as he defends the World title against his first PWL opponent, GRIMACE.
Match One, Midgets' World championship match: NAUGA (champion) vs. ORKO (challenger, w/ SKELETOR). CAP'N CRUNCH made a stopover at the announcers' table, informing Kermit and Guy that Nauga "will pay from stealing that bloody title from the Cap'n." Orko, still feeling the effects from last night's beatdown, proved no match for the new champion, as Nauga put him away with the moonsault and pin in 4:22.
Match Two: SCHOOLHOUSE ROCKY vs. DR. DEMENTIA. "The Schoolhouse Rock says this," the cocky Saturday morning star began, "it's a damn insult for the idiots running this dump to put SHR in the second damned match on the card, and it's especially putrid for SHR to display his unmatched ring knowledge against th emost pathetic jobber in wrestling history." Dementia blindsided Rocky before more venom could be spewed. It was the good Doctor's only offense, as SHR's jobber crack looked quite on track in this contest. Rocky gets the W by submission, due to his Figure 8 finisher, in 3:27.
Match Three, World cruiserweight championship match: STARSHINE HIPPIE (champion) vs. KARATE MAN (challenger). After nursing an elbow injury for the past few weeks, Karate Man made his return with a chance to grab the cruiserweight strap. Starshine showed no effects of his grueling battle last night against FOOT, and MONDO MBAMBA was personally offended by that. He joined Kermit and Guy at the table during this match, and constantly put over Foot's "obvious" win last night, that had been "stolen from our grasp by the blitheringly moronic officiating found only in the PWL." Tired of witnessing Starshine and Karate's dazzling aerial displays, Mbamba motioned to the back, and out came all three members of LONG SWEET LIPS. Foot, M. KLEATS, and TANKA SATCHMO assaulted both match participants, as well as referee TONY PLOW. The match was ruled a no-contest in 6:55.
Match Four: SETH vs. MR. T. T started his PWL career on the wrong foot last night, angering the crowd by existing. It went downhill from there, as an angry Seth mauled the Letter Person with a quick chokeslam-shoulderbreaker-sitdown piledriver combo. Seth picked up the win in only 39 seconds.
Match Five: SUPER HEAVY "The Obese Luchador" vs. MAN-AT-ARMS (w/ HE-MAN and THE SORCERESS). Super Heavy made his in-ring debut tonight, and fared much better than Mr. T did. The 353-pounder made a mockery of M-A-A, tossing him around the ring, outside the ring, and generally making him look foolish before finishing him with a second rope legdrop. Super Heavy gets the victory in an even 4:00.
Match Six, North American championship match: COOLEROY (champion) vs. BIG SID SMITH "The Neighborhood Bully" (challenger, w/ "Mean Old" MR. McMASTER). Big Sid rebounded from his first PWL defeat at WrestleRama to grab an important win against the North American champion tonight. Unfortunately for Smith, he took the victory by countout as Cooleroy lost track of the count as he chased Mr. McMaster outside the ring. The match, which lasted 8:20, was important in that Smith will now be assured of more championship matches down the line with his outstanding showing.
Via satellite from his emu farm, JOE THE GIANT expressed his disgust that the PWL refused to put THE TRAIN over at WrestleRama, then returned to his lentil casserole.
Match Seven, World tag team championship match: THE PILLARS OF PAIN (GOLEM and QUARTZ, champions) vs. THE FABULOUS HORNER BROTHERS (BUTCH and BAMM-BAMM HORNER, challengers). The POP showed their easy win was no fluke by completely dominating this title defense against the FHB. After the champions retained their gold in 4:45, with Quartz pinning Bamm-Bamm, OLD WEIRD HORNER walked to the ring and grabbed the house microphone. He promised the remaining FHB members that "Old Harold has a surprise for you on Friday night. Get set for a family that knows what to do." Whatever that means.
Match Eight, Main Event, World heavyweight championship match: THE TERROR (champion, w/ DARK ANGEL) vs. GRIMACE (challenger). The new, angry Grimace went on the offense at the opening bell, pummeling the World champ with a series of punches, eye rakes, nose tweaks, and arm biting. Terror ran for cover several times during the match, continually planning new strategies with Dark Angel. Terror finally put a stop to Grimace's assault by punching him in his unusually-shaped stomach area. Terror was able to subdue the Purple Menace, but still landed cheap shots with illegal objects because he felt like it. In the end,the champ only neede one Terror Spike on this night to lead to a pin and win over the challenger. Terror remains your World heavyweight champion with an 11:06 win. Terror and Dark Angel celebrated in the ring by drinking 7-Up and shouting general insults at the crowd. As the two walked to the back, ignoring cries of "When are you gonna get the second half of that tattoo made," the champs were stopped by Gene West. The PWL President laughed, cryptically informing Terror, "That was only the beginning, Mr. Terror. You won't get away with pushing me to the side of the road." And with that, the show ends.