PWL House Show Results - February 18, 2000.
FROM DU QUOIN, ILLINOIS..
- The show begins with the ususal ravings from World
heavyweight champion THE TERROR, explaining that he hates
people in general and hopes all the fans develop gangrene.
His tirade is interrupted by PWL President GENE WEST and
THE TRAIN. West reveals the news that Train will indeed
get a shot at the The Terror and the World heavyweight
title at WRESTLERAMA 14, live on April 2. West promises
that Train will bring home the gold and Terror should
seriously consider giving up the World title to avoid the
inevitable beatdown. Terror laughs and gives a rundown of
people he's driven out of pro wrestling, and Gene West
and The Train will be just two more he can add to his
list.
- In the first match of the evening, Midgets' World
champion CAP'N CRUNCH continues to defy the original
booking plans with another successful defense. This go 'round,
he busted up fellow cereal pitchman SNAP (with CRACKLE
and POP), giving him the business and pinning his elfin
carcass in 5:37.
- M. KLEATS wins a 10-man battle royale in 0:00 when he is
the only one of the ten participants to show up for the
match. Keats and manager MONDO MBAMBA celebrate violently
after the win.
- Women's World champion DARK ANGEL continues her winning
streak, holding on to the ladies' strap by pinning the
never-mentioned-before and probably never-mentioned-again
HEY WOMAN in 3:12.
- Backstage, The Terror drinks an entire case of 7-Up while
watching GOLEM and QUARTZ play chess using Star Wars
dolls and bread crumbs.
- RUFUS VAN PELT and BILLY JO JIVE (with "Sweet"
SUSIE SUNSET) defeated THE FABULOUS HORNER BROTHERS to
win the North American tag team titles. RVP pinned Butch
Horner in 8:25 for the victory. RVP called it "the
greatest moment of my life" and dedicated the title
win to the memory of CHARLES SCHULZ. Old Weird Horner
called the title loss "right up the street from, uh,
yep, yep" and dedicated the match to his C.B.
friends.
- BIG SID SMITH "The Neighborhood Bully" (with
"Mean Old" MR. McMASTER) defeated the newly
arrived, shorter-named, heat-lacking, POTATO SALAD JIMMY
by pinfall in 2:03. BSS"TNB"(w/Mr.M) continues
his rise to glory while PSJ continues his affliction with
jobberitis.
- Backstage, POP get ready for their big match by dancing
to a RICHARD SIMMONS tape, Dark Angel looks on while
eating the bread crumbs mentioned earlier, and Terror
pukes 7-Up all over Cap'n Crunch.
- World cruiserweight champion STARSHINE HIPPIE retains
that prestigious hunk of old beer cans smashed together
to resemble a championship belt by making the returning
RUDY submit to the Starshine Hippie Submission Hold of
Temporary Pain in 6:03. Following the match, Mondo Mbamba
and M. Kleats escort Rudy to the back, hopefully starting
an angle the scriptwriters will remember, but probably
forget by next Monday.
- THE PILLARS OF PAIN grappled with the mighty NEW ORDER
until neither team could grapples no more. The contests
degenerated into a brawl involving cushions, comfy chairs,
big bags o' popcorn, and rubber baseball bats aplenty.
The referee called for a double-disqualification at 4:19,
but wasn't noticed by the timekeeper until 7:23.
- Backstage, Rudy juggles jars of pickles, The Horner
Brothers discuss politics with a shower curtain, Big Sid
Smith eats the Richard Simmons tape, and Snap, Crackle,
and Pop drink 7-Up they found on the locker room floor.
- FAT ALBERT makes his triumphant return to Du Quoin by
pinning SKELETOR in 5:55. Skeletor briefly had Fat Albert
on the run when he attempted to call for the Power of
Greyskull. Unfortunately for Skeletor, the power misfired
and struck a guy in the crowd. The guy became agitated
and ate all of the hot dogs at the snack bar. Enraged by
the idea of no food for himself, Fat Albert gave Skeletor
a beating the likes of which ye have never seen.
- World tag team champions NC-17 were able to withstand the
subpar challenge of THE ILLUSTRATORS and continue their
run as champions. This match ended when both teams
noticed that the drunks in the crowd were becoming louder
and angrier, and they decided to finish early. For the
record, Dirk Mercury pinned Tibor in 4:33 for the win.
- In the Main Event of the Evening, World heavyweight
champion THE TERROR faced North American heavyweight
champion COOLEROY, with the World title up for grabs. In
a contest that featured so much action that it couldn't
possibly be mentioned in this report, Terror upended
Cooleroy in 21:29 to ensure that both men had the same
belts they had before the match started. The show ends
with Terror telling the fans they can go do something
particularly nasty with themselves, and The Train chases
him to the back to a thunderous ovation.