PWL House Show Results - February 11, 2000.

FROM DU QUOIN, ILLINOIS:

• The card began with World heavyweight champion THE TERROR and his friends hitting the ring for soundbites galore. Even in his home territory, the champ is mercilessly booed, and he seems to despise the Du Quoin fans even more than those in St. Louis. In a nutshell, Terror siad that J.J. STERNBUTT has no real power, that everybody knows GENE WEST is the real man in charge of the PWL. He says this with a tongue-in-cheek quality, as opposed to the hatred he showed in interviews bashing Sternbutt. West finally shows up, and announces that, yes indeed, the PWL Suits, Sternbutt, and West got together and decided that the company functioned better when West was in charge, so Sternbutt voluntarily stepped down, and Gene west is once again Your PWL President. He further announced that Terror's challenger on Monday will be no surprise, and brought out his opponent, former ECW and PWL star K.C. COLOSSUS. Colossus made no promises that he would take the World title, only that Terror would wish he never showed up in the PWL. Terror and friends simply laughed at Colossus.
• In the first match of the evening, JOHNNY CARWASH pinned DUH CHEE (with manager BIG MOOSE) by submission, slapping on the Carwash Clutch in 5:28.
• The second match saw SETH destroy poor SUEDE SIMPSON in only 47 seconds, the end coming with seth's new finishing maneuver, known as Bingo.
• M. KLEATS returned to his winning ways, defeating WILSON FISK with the Baba Beeba and pinfall in 6:33.
• HUMAN TORNADO made a mockery of MR. SANDMAN, pinning him in 1:55. Afterwards, he challenged SETH to a garbage match "anytime, anywhere."
• Making his PWL debut BIG SID SMITH "The Neighborhood Bully" (with manager "Mean Old" MR. McMASTER obliterate BEN TRAYMOR in 2:19.
• Midgets' World champion CAP'N CRUNCH hit the ring, and demanded an opponent, not caring who it may be. To everybody's delight, out storms JOE THE GIANT. JTG takes the mic and announces that Terror only keeps the Cap'n around for laughs. Then he hoists Crunch in the air with one finger, and drops him to the mat, face first. JTG flips over the champion, and gets the 1, 2, 3. Unfortunately for the fans, JTG seemed to be slightly over the 5-foot height limit for midgets, so Cap'n Crunch remains the champion. Sure enough, Terror rescues his fallen friend and helps him to the back, laughing hysterically the entire time.
• DARK ANGEL was able to escape Du Quoin with her Women's World title, pulling out a tough win against the newly arrived THUMBELINA. Thumbelina's manager, AUNT RHODY, was a continual distraction in the match, and she and T seemed to play the heels as the match progressed. Dark Angel got the victory following a botched moonsault from Thumbelina, with the pinfall coming at 4:14.
• STARSHINE HIPPIE is still the World cruiserweight champion, picking up a DQ win over ULTIMO PUERCO. The champ had UP on the run when Puerco's friends THE PIGGIES and MISS PIGGY attacked the champion. Time of this contest was 7:11.
• THE FABULOUS HORNER BROTHERS were able to retain their North American tag titles, picking up a win against THE PIGGIES and RUFUS VAN PELT and BILLY JO JIVE (with "Sweet" SUSIE SUNSET). Butch Horner ended the bout with a pin of Filth E. Pigg in 8:33.
• World tag team champions NC-17 grappled THE SEXECUTIONERS to a no-contest in 7:19. The conclusion was reached when THE PILLARS OF PAIN arrived, attacking both tandems. POP felt they deserved any and all World tag title shots, and took their frustrations out in this way.
• COOLEROY continues to impress everybody involved with the PWL, this time with another successful North American title defense. He was strongly tested by challenger SKELETOR (with ORKO), but the champ held on, netting the pinfall win at 13:56. Judging by the crowd response, this was the best match of the evening.
• And now, the main event, a six-man tag match featuring World champion THE TERROR and THE PILLARS OF PAIN against FAT ALBERT and THE NEW ORDER. Fat Albert received the pop of the night, saying, "Terror, you can drink all the 7-Up you want, your friend can guzzle all the Sprite he wants. Me, Zod, and Non, though, we're real men, and we enjoy real drinks." Those three then pulled out three bottles of whiskey, guzzling them down in the middle of the ring to a huge cheer. After finishing, they threw the bottles at their opponents, and the match was on. The six paid no attention to the referee, and did battle all around the place. Shortly thereafter, the blood was flowing as much as the adult beverages had a few minutes earlier. Fat Albert and TNO seemingly were in control under Zod and Fat Albert, who were now feeling a tad bit intoxicated, dared The Terror to try and Terror Spike Non. The World champion looked at them like theyjust might be drunk, and accepted the dare. One Terror Spike later, The Terror pinned Non for the victory in 11:49. Fat Albert and Zod seemed confused, but helped Non up and the three stumbled to the back. Terror and POP enjoyed their win in front of the hometwon crowd by claiming the fans practiced bizarre and unnatural sexual acts, and he hoped they would all die of spontaneous human combustion, which would prove wrong his theory that wrestling fans are, in fact, a race of intelligent amoeba. The fans became confused when Terror started using big words, but popped when THE TRAIN came out to run Terror back to the dressing rooms, and Train proceeded to single-team POP before they scampered to the back.