PWL House Show Results - February 11, 2000.
FROM DU QUOIN, ILLINOIS:
- The card began with World heavyweight champion THE TERROR
and his friends hitting the ring for soundbites galore.
Even in his home territory, the champ is mercilessly
booed, and he seems to despise the Du Quoin fans even
more than those in St. Louis. In a nutshell, Terror siad
that J.J. STERNBUTT has no real power, that everybody
knows GENE WEST is the real man in charge of the PWL. He
says this with a tongue-in-cheek quality, as opposed to
the hatred he showed in interviews bashing Sternbutt.
West finally shows up, and announces that, yes indeed,
the PWL Suits, Sternbutt, and West got together and
decided that the company functioned better when West was
in charge, so Sternbutt voluntarily stepped down, and
Gene west is once again Your PWL President. He further
announced that Terror's challenger on Monday will be no
surprise, and brought out his opponent, former ECW and
PWL star K.C. COLOSSUS. Colossus made no promises that he
would take the World title, only that Terror would wish
he never showed up in the PWL. Terror and friends simply
laughed at Colossus.
- In the first match of the evening, JOHNNY CARWASH pinned
DUH CHEE (with manager BIG MOOSE) by submission, slapping
on the Carwash Clutch in 5:28.
- The second match saw SETH destroy poor SUEDE SIMPSON in
only 47 seconds, the end coming with seth's new finishing
maneuver, known as Bingo.
- M. KLEATS returned to his winning ways, defeating WILSON
FISK with the Baba Beeba and pinfall in 6:33.
- HUMAN TORNADO made a mockery of MR. SANDMAN, pinning him
in 1:55. Afterwards, he challenged SETH to a garbage
match "anytime, anywhere."
- Making his PWL debut BIG SID SMITH "The Neighborhood
Bully" (with manager "Mean Old" MR.
McMASTER obliterate BEN TRAYMOR in 2:19.
- Midgets' World champion CAP'N CRUNCH hit the ring, and
demanded an opponent, not caring who it may be. To
everybody's delight, out storms JOE THE GIANT. JTG takes
the mic and announces that Terror only keeps the Cap'n
around for laughs. Then he hoists Crunch in the air with
one finger, and drops him to the mat, face first. JTG
flips over the champion, and gets the 1, 2, 3.
Unfortunately for the fans, JTG seemed to be slightly
over the 5-foot height limit for midgets, so Cap'n Crunch
remains the champion. Sure enough, Terror rescues his
fallen friend and helps him to the back, laughing
hysterically the entire time.
- DARK ANGEL was able to escape Du Quoin with her Women's
World title, pulling out a tough win against the newly
arrived THUMBELINA. Thumbelina's manager, AUNT RHODY, was
a continual distraction in the match, and she and T
seemed to play the heels as the match progressed. Dark
Angel got the victory following a botched moonsault from
Thumbelina, with the pinfall coming at 4:14.
- STARSHINE HIPPIE is still the World cruiserweight
champion, picking up a DQ win over ULTIMO PUERCO. The
champ had UP on the run when Puerco's friends THE PIGGIES
and MISS PIGGY attacked the champion. Time of this
contest was 7:11.
- THE FABULOUS HORNER BROTHERS were able to retain their
North American tag titles, picking up a win against THE
PIGGIES and RUFUS VAN PELT and BILLY JO JIVE (with "Sweet"
SUSIE SUNSET). Butch Horner ended the bout with a pin of
Filth E. Pigg in 8:33.
- World tag team champions NC-17 grappled THE SEXECUTIONERS
to a no-contest in 7:19. The conclusion was reached when
THE PILLARS OF PAIN arrived, attacking both tandems. POP
felt they deserved any and all World tag title shots, and
took their frustrations out in this way.
- COOLEROY continues to impress everybody involved with the
PWL, this time with another successful North American
title defense. He was strongly tested by challenger
SKELETOR (with ORKO), but the champ held on, netting the
pinfall win at 13:56. Judging by the crowd response, this
was the best match of the evening.
- And now, the main event, a six-man tag match featuring
World champion THE TERROR and THE PILLARS OF PAIN against
FAT ALBERT and THE NEW ORDER. Fat Albert received the pop
of the night, saying, "Terror, you can drink all the
7-Up you want, your friend can guzzle all the Sprite he
wants. Me, Zod, and Non, though, we're real men, and we
enjoy real drinks." Those three then pulled out
three bottles of whiskey, guzzling them down in the
middle of the ring to a huge cheer. After finishing, they
threw the bottles at their opponents, and the match was
on. The six paid no attention to the referee, and did
battle all around the place. Shortly thereafter, the
blood was flowing as much as the adult beverages had a
few minutes earlier. Fat Albert and TNO seemingly were in
control under Zod and Fat Albert, who were now feeling a
tad bit intoxicated, dared The Terror to try and Terror
Spike Non. The World champion looked at them like
theyjust might be drunk, and accepted the dare. One
Terror Spike later, The Terror pinned Non for the victory
in 11:49. Fat Albert and Zod seemed confused, but helped
Non up and the three stumbled to the back. Terror and POP
enjoyed their win in front of the hometwon crowd by
claiming the fans practiced bizarre and unnatural sexual
acts, and he hoped they would all die of spontaneous
human combustion, which would prove wrong his theory that
wrestling fans are, in fact, a race of intelligent amoeba.
The fans became confused when Terror started using big
words, but popped when THE TRAIN came out to run Terror
back to the dressing rooms, and Train proceeded to single-team
POP before they scampered to the back.