PWL House Show Results - January 24, 2000.

FROM THE REST STOP, BOONVILLE, MISSOURI.

• The show began with PWL President J.J. STERNBUTT announcing that, throught he kindness of his own heart, he will allow THE PILLARS OF PAIN to challenge NC-17 for the World tag team titles. At this, THE SEXECUTIONERS hit the ring and began to badmouth Sternbutt, as they had originally been given the title shot for this evening.
• In the first match of the night, Midgets' World champion CAP'N CRUNCH (waving a Terror flag as he approached the ring) made yet another successful title defense, besting COUSIN ITT by pinfall in 4:12.
• The Women's World title match was ruled a no-contest in 3:56 when champion DARK ANGEL was blindsided by challenger URSA and her mates in The New Order, Zod and Non. As The Terror and The Pillars of pain made the save and drove TNO out, J.J. Sternbutt watched from the back of the walkway, grinning curiously.
• HUMAN TORNADO made quick work of WAFFLE HOUSE, pinning him following a running powerbomb in 57 seconds.
• SETH also had an easy evening, pinning DR. DEMENTIA in 2:19.
• SKELETOR kept climbing the PWL ladder, pinning WILSON FISK in 6:11.
• North American tag team champions THE FABULOUS HORNER BROTHERS defeated BIG HEAD GUY and FAT DUDE in 7:23, as Butch Horner pinned BHG.
• World tag team champions NC-17 escaped with their championship, as their defense against THE PILLARS OF PAIN was thrown out at the 5:44 point. THE SEXECUTIONERS, who had been trying to reach ringside for the entire match, but was thwarted by some masked Sternbutt cronies, finally broke through and attacked all four combatants.
• North American heavyweight champion COOLEROY pinned World cruiserweight champion STARSHINE HIPPIE with a tombstone piledriver in 7:47. Only the North American title was on the line, as Cooleroy (295 pounds) is slightly heavier than the cruiserweight limit (225).
• In the main event, World heavyweight champion THE TERROR took on J.J. Sternbutt's mystery opponent. Sternbutt walked to the ring, accompanied by a midget, a woman, and a man, all wearing masks. Sternbutt pushed the midget toward Terror, shouting, "There's your opponent, champ!" The bell rings, there's a Terror Spike, 1,2,3. Terror wins in 8 seconds. Terror unmasks the midget, revealing him to be HAMBURGLAR. Sternbutt grabs the mic. "Sorry, dude! I spoke too soon. Here's your mystery opponent, brother!" Sternbutt pushes the masked woman in the ring. Same match description as before, this time the opponent is revealed to be GRADE-A WOMAN. Into the ring walks the masked man. Terror readies himself for the third beatdown. As he grabs for the man, he is attacked from behind by THE NEW ORDER. Zod, Non, and Ursa do a number on the World champion, as Sternbutt and the masked man look on. Finally, The Pillars of Pain and Dark Angel arrive to even the score. In the confusion, the masked man walks into the ring and rolls up Terror. Sternbutt makes a very fast three count. As POP/Angel brawl with TNO, Sternbutt and the masked man walk to the back with the PWL World title belt.

What just happened? Who was that masked guy? Is there a new World heavyweight champion? Where was Fat Albert? Where was Joe The Giant? M. Kleats? Gene West? Mondo Mbamba? The PWL Suits meet on Tuesday, hopefully some decision will be made.