PWL Results for September 24, 1999.

• MONDO MBAMBA introduced his new tag team, O.W.H. (formerly OLD WEIRD HAROLD) and MASHED X (formerly MASHED POTATO).  They proceeded to get destroyed by THE MIDNIGHT EXPRESS.  In only 48 seconds, BEAUTIFUL BIFF pinned OWH.  Mashed X continually referred to himself as Mashed Potato, and asked Mbamba for advice throughout the match, though he never entered the ring legally.  Afterwards, Mbamba demanded that Mashed attack OWH, but the ex-Potato left to celebrate in the crowd instead.
• HUMAN TORNADO was able to withstand the brutality of SETH, and pinned him following a reversed tombstone piledriver in 12:25.
• NC-17 pulled off a slight upset, defeating THE PILLARS OF PAIN in a no-disqualification contest.  DIRK MERCURY pulled off the win, pinning QUARTZ in 10:33.
• In a strangely scientific match, Midgets' World champion CAP'N CRUNCH grappled MASCARITA DIABLO to a 15-minute draw.  Both men shook hands afterwards, to the applause of those in attendance.
• Women's World champion URSA continued her winning ways, defeating challenger DARK ANGEL by submission.  Ursa clamped on the Zodtamer for the win at 7:44.
• DUH CHEE successfully defended the World cruiserweight championship, with a high-flying victory over top challenger DUH CHEE in 11:56.
• In the Three-Way Dance for a tag team title shot, THE NEW ORDER (GENERAL ZOD & NON) pulled off the victory, as Zod pinned DON JEREMY of THE SEXECUTIONERS in 9:47.  JOE THE GIANT and THE TERROR were the third team in the match.  They had been distracted when HAARLEM HEAT hit ringside.  JTG and Terror chased them to the back as the pinfall occurred.
• HAARLEM HEAT held on to the World tag team championship, but they did so in a countout loss.  Zod and Non thoroughly dominated their match, but BRIAN TROOST and LARRY FRANKLIN packed up and ran away from ringside, hopped into their rental car, and sped off.  PWL President GENE WEST promised The New Order a rematch at the earliest possible date.  Time of this match was 3:18.
• Thanks to outside interference, M. KLEATS was able to defeat FAT ALBERT by pinfall and become the NEW PWL North American heavyweight champion.  As the referee was conveniently tending to an "injured" Kleats, Mondo Mbamba made Mashed X attack Fat Albert.  Mashed refused, saying he loved watching Fat Al wrestle, and shook FA's hand.  As Mbamba screamed at Mashed, PIGFEET FRANKLIN made a successful run in, blasting the champ with a hubcap.  Kleats then made the easy pin for the championship.
• RONALD McDONALD held on to the World heavyweight championship, pinning COOLEROY in the main event.  This battle went back and forth, but with more handy referee inefficiency, GRIMACE and HAMBURGLAR ran interference on behalf of the champeen.  Ronnie Mac rubbed McNugget Barbecue Sauce in Cooleroy's eyes, and tripped him up by clubbing him in the knee with a Mayor McCheese head from a McDonaldland ride.  Time of the McD's victory was 10:30.