PWL Results for February 14, 1999.

• In the opening match on the card, ULTIMO PUERCO won the ten-man cruiserweight battle royale, last eliminating TRAPEZOID.  As a result, Puerco receives a cruiserweight title shot at next week's PWL card.  Time of the battle royale: 10:47.
• An interview took place with current cruiserweight champion RUDY.  Among other things, he spoke of destroying his opponent STARSHINE HIPPIE later in the evening, and perhaps gave away some information.  When asked about the leader of the Gang, FAT ALBERT himself, Rudy replied, "He just might be here sooner than you think."
• The next match pitted Midgets' champion MASCARITA DIABLO against KID DY-NO-MITE.  Diablo continued his domination of the midget ranks, retaining his championship in 9:05 with an armbar submission.  It should be noted that during this match, THE TERROR was seen viewing the action from behind the curtain.  Terror has many connections in the wrestling industry, might he have an eye on the midgets' division?  We shall see...
• In the third bout of the evening, BOZO THE CLOWN fought the always unpredictable DR. DEMENTIA.  These two took the match outside the ring several times, with the high point being when Dementia double-suplexed Bozo and hishandler BUTCH through a table.  It was the Clown, however, who picked up the win.  He was lucky to get it, as the good Doctor DDT'd the referee for no apparent reason at the 11:32 mark, earning himself a disqualification.
• Next came the much anticipated interview with former North American champion GENERAL ZOD.  Zod explained to the crowd that he was tired of teaching the jobbers of the PWL a lesson night in and night out.  "Now that Zod no longer has that championship, he will do as sees fit, without regard for the executives, other wrestlers, and the fans of this organization."  Immediately afterwards, Zod took on HULK BIXBY in a on-on-one match.  At least, it was intended to be one-on-one.  ZOD went to work on Bixby from the outset, and pinned him quite easily in 2:14 following a piledriver.  Then, NON entered the ring and assisted his New Order ally in pummeling Hulk until the suits came out to make the save.
• In an added attraction, former World tag champ THE MIDNIGHT EXPRESS handily defeated ROPE THE DOPE and DRUNK THE CLOWN.  This match followed a typical star vs. jobber TV bout, as BIFF and SULLY were in control for the entire match.  It ended when Sully pinned Drunk following a tope-rope DDT in 3:39.
• Following intermission, SETH stormed the ring and challenged anyone from the dressing room to fight him "right here, right now!"  The challenge was answered by former World champion HUMAN TORNADO who, after a colorful soundbite that delighted those in attendance, started to pound the mammoth Seth mercilessly.  Seth responded, though, by putting the beating on HT.  This bout broke down quickly, as it was officially a double-DQ at the 5:17 point.  Seth and Tornado continued their brawl, eventually punching out the refs, suits, and all others that tried to break up the carnage.  All in all, both combatants were bloodied, and the donnybrook finally subsided about ten minutes after the match's official ending.
• In the cruiserweight championship match, RUDY was upended by STARSHINE HIPPIE, as Hippie captured his fouth PWL title in the lightweight ranks.  Starshine had control for most of the match, and Rudy was certainly not helped by the backfiring interference of Gangmate DUMB DONALD, who has expressed an interest in competing in the cruiserweight division on a regular basis.  Hippie won with his trademark top rope leg drop, followed by the 1, 2, 3.  Time of the match 13:01.
• At this point came one of he most anticipated debut bouts in the PWL, as THE TERROR, the longtime scourge of professional wrestling, made his first appearance under PWL contract.  His opponent?  The always crowd-pleasing GRIMACE.  As Grimace approached the ring high-fiving the ringside fans, Terror blindsided the Purple One with a chair.  Terror refused to let up as he stomped Grimace into the ring mats, pausing only to curse at and spit on the children's group seated at ringside.  Terror eventually brought the action inside the ring, repeatedly choking Grimace and stomping him in the head.  By this time, Grimace was nearly completely covered in blood, horrifying the crowd.  Grimace never could get any offense in, as Terror finished the job with a concealed wrench to the throat.  Three seconds later, the loudest booing and jeering ever heard in the PWL rained down on the ring, as Terror emerges 1-0 in his new territory.
• In the bout for the World tag championships, NC-17 (DIRK MERCURY & TRIPLE X) received the shot they felt they had deserved for two months.  Their opponents in their first title match, though, were not the current, dominating duo of STRIKE FORCE (BEAST & CARNAGE).  Dirk & XXX, it seemed, were a bit apprehensive taking on the champs, and the big men sensed it.  Beast and Carnage took over the young, arrogant duo, as the champs took turns beating Dirk Mercury senseless.  At the five minute point, it was Beast that led Dirk over to his corner and forced Triple X to tag in.  Yes, more of the same, this time it was XXX that felt the power of the Force.  The match came to an end when all four competitors were in the ring.  Beast took XXX to Splash Mountain with his patented Splash Mountain Powerbomb, and Carnage laid waste to Mercury with a Corkscrew Moonsault.  Adding injury to injury (as NC-17 were too beaten up for insults), Strike Force planted Mercury with the Eliminator, followed by an easy 1, 2, 3.  Strike Force still the champs, time of the match 12:10.
• In the main event, the suddenly popular World/North American heavyweight champion PLAGUE defended both titles against the former tag champions THE THUNDERFEET in a handicap match.  The question is, which side was truly handicapped?  I'm sure you can figure it out.  The pre-match stipulation was that if the Thunderfeet defeated Plague in any way, they would be awarded the World and North American titles.  the 'Feet even went so far as to have a coin flip, revealing that TF2 would become World champ, and TF1 North American titleholder.  The champ, as we know, has no time for such games, and proceeded as if it was just another match.  For Plague, any match is just another match, as he started using standard wrestling hold and moves, but to both Thunderfeet simultaneously.  When the bout went outside, Plague was able to handle it.  He received a big pop by using two chairs as clubs, bashing the Feet in their masks back and forth.  Say what you will about the Thunderfeet, they were able to keep up with the championfor nearly thirteen minutes.  Everybody, including the T-Feet, were stunned when, after hitting Plague simultaneously in the back of both of his legs, he very nearly went to one knee.  Our champion rebounded, planting the duo with (what else?) a double powerbomb and pinfall in 12:52.  Plague celebrated his victory when he noticed Terror once again getting a look from behind the curtains.  Plague motioned for Terror to come to the ring, but he never did.  Plague laughed at the newcomer, as fans chanted raunchy insults directed at Terror.