Classic Father Ted Quotes

Dermott Morgan may be sadly dead but Father Ted will always live on. These are just a few of the best quotes from 3 series of Father Ted

• "Go away I don't want to catch menopause"
• "Aah! Brilliant. A load of people in a stable. It's the one thing I didn't expect"
• "Father Clippit says a good long mass. Four hours he does. Since his stroke"
• "A one word film. There can't be too many of those. Salem's Lot"
• "So there he is risen from the dead. Like that fella......ET"
• "Pat was wondering if he could put his massive tool in my box"
• "Do you believe in God then Ted?"
• "Arsebiscuits"
• "Put your clothes back on Carol. I can't concentrate"
• "As if by magic I can create a big crowd of invisible ducks"
• "What was it Jack used to say about the needy? He had a term for them. What was it now?........oh yeah, a shower of bastards"