Limericks for The Lord

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These Limericks used with permission of the Author, Ray McAllister.

                         Some Limericks
                        By Ray McAllister

                    Lucifer  (31 March 2000)
There once was an angel of light
Whose heart became proud of such might.
With lust yet unknown
He reached for God's Throne
But fell as sin's demon of night.

               The Art of Creation  (28 July 2000)
The earth lay in dark, hollow void
Like the realm for the lost and destroyed.
But then the Lord spoke
And nature awoke
That beauty should e'er be enjoyed.

                       Eve  (27 July 2000)
There once was a woman named, Eve
Whom the serpent so sought to deceive.
She took from his hand
That like God she would stand
And like God she would suffer and grieve.

             Promise  (Genesis 3:15:  29 July 2000)
There once was a people so high
Who fell when they claimed hateful lie.
But God true and just
Did what Love must
And to save them descended to die.

                   Noah's Ark  (30 July 2000)
There once was a people of blood
Who died in an earth-breaking flood.
But one frail boat
By faith stayed afloat
Above a land buried in mud.

              The Tower of Babel  (20 October 1999)
There once was a people of power
Who sought to construct a tall tower.
It reached to the sky
Until God from on High
Sent them babbling off one bright hour.

             Abram and Fairest Sarai  (1 April 2000)
There once was a fearful, old mister
Who said that his wife was his sister.
So the king one fine day
Freely took her away
Till God made him gladly resist'er.

                    Sodom  (21 October 1999)
There once was a city named, Sodom
Whose morals had sunk to the bottom
So God sitting higher
Rained brimstone and fire.
What grace could not teach judgment taught'em.

               Isaac on the Altar  (30 July 2000)
There once was a man richly blessed
Who labored to do strange request.
He offered his son
But before he was done
God said, "Stop, for your faith passed the test."

                      Jacob  (1 April 2000)
With fervor his heart did obsess
For the richness of Rachel's caress
But he woke in dismay
For with Leah he lay
His cunning so duped to distress.

          Judah and Tamar  (Genesis 38:  28 July 2000)
He spoke with such flaming desire
"Let the harlot be burned in the fire."
But she set him amiss
Saying, "Recognize this
What you gave when you took me for hire."

                    Joseph  (21 October 1999)
They sold him with passion depraved
To Egypt to serve as a slave.
But little they knew
What God would soon do
For as ruler their lives he would save.

                      Job  (11 August 2000)
There once was a man true and right
Whom Satan did test with all might.
But no ill hell could do
Toward darkness to woo
Would make him forsake perfect Light.

                   Pharaoh  (20 February 2001)
There once rose a selfish, new Pharaoh
Whose thinking was foolish and narrow.
He ravaged God's nation
With haughty elation
Not knowing of Truth's piercing Arrow.

              Pharaoh's Decree  (20 February 2001)
Said Pharaoh "Cast into the Nile
All boys born in slavery's trial."
So down ruthless river
Rode rescue's young giver
Toward safety in elegant style.

            Killing the Egyptian  (20 February 2001)
There once was a man high and brave
Who thought by his might he could save.
The captor he slew
But soon everyone knew
And he fled as the desert's fine slave.

                Moses Returns  (20 February 2001)
Said Moses, "My spirit is weak
For You know I'm unable to speak."
Said God, "There's no other
Say, thus, through your brother.
My people in freedom I seek."

             Aaron's Serpent Rod  (21 October 1999)
They slithered untamed all around
Such counterfeit snakes of the ground
But soon became dinner
To one holy winner
Who lives in God's power unbound.

               Water to Blood  (20 February 2001)
There once was a vast, mighty river
Known as life's generous giver
Till God's angry flood
Turned it to blood
With death and despair to deliver.

             The Plague of Frogs  (21 October 1999)
There once was a king of strong hand
Who'd never obey God's command
So the Lord yet unstopping
Sent frogs e'er a-hopping
To cast great unrest through the land.

                    Lice  (20 February 2001)
There once was a king cold as ice
Who rebelled when God punished him twice.
But such stubborn head
Fast wished he were dead
As it burned from invasions of lice.

                    Flies  (20 February 2001)
There once was a sore situation
As flies loomed in thick concentration
But buzzing and biting
Feeding and fighting
They fled before Love's holy nation.

             Death of the Cattle  (20 February 2001)
How fierce and foreboding a battle
Met a nation that deified cattle.
For wrath God released
As He smote every beast
That scared, stony hearts would soon rattle.

                    Boils  (20 February 2001)
They strutted about with proud head
As they knew they could still win instead.
But soon they did toil
With many a boil.
So humbled and weakened they fled.

                    Hail  (20 February 2001)
There once was a land of great name
That prospered in wealth and in fame.
But thunder and lightning
With hailstones fright'ning
Flattened their fortune in shame.

                   Locusts  (20 February 2001)
There stood a small portion of grain
Unharmed by the hail and rain.
But God sent the locust
With fury so focused
To swallow all hope with dark stain.

            The Plague of Darkness (22 October 1999)
The king sat in long, stubborn fight
Yet trusting his gods of false light
So God in great starkness
Sent three days of darkness
That truth might dawn clear in the night.

                Passover Lamb  (20 February 2001)
There once was an angel of doom
Sent near Egypt's firstborn to loom.
But Heaven's I AM
Let each sacrifice lamb
Deliver His people from gloom.

                 Red Sea Escape  (1 April 2000)
They followed with seething, cold hand
As Israel crossed on dry land.
But as they pursued
God finished the feud
And washed them away with the sand.

            Rebels in the Wilderness  (27 July 2000)
They danced claiming glory so sweet
Never to stop or retreat.
On lies they stood firm
Not to topple or squirm
Till the ground fled from under their feet.

         Balaam and the Stubborn Donkey   (29 July 2000)
There once was a man from the East
Whose stubbornness daily increased.
His raging did swell
Until silenced he fell
Rebuked by the words of his beast.

               Crossing the Jordan  (28 July 2000)
There once was a river named, Jordan
Whose depths kept God's children from fordin'.
But steps in faith's stand
Cleared a path of dry land
Which their home they might soon pass toward in.

                     Jericho  (29 July 2000)
There once was a city so tall
Made strong by its high, sturdy wall
But soon from without
Came a mightiest shout
As God's camp made such vanity fall.

               Jael  (Judges 4, 5:  30 July 2000)
There once was a general cold
Whom no army could capture or hold.
Toward comfort he fled
But safe in his bed
He was slain by a maid wise and bold.

                    Gideon  (11 August 2000)
There once was an army so vast
Whose treachery ever would last
Till three hundred men
With faith ne'er to bend
Destroyed them with Strength high and fast.

                     Samson  (1 April 2000)
He stood with invincible might
Till beauty arrested his sight
And led him away
In heart's darkest day
That bound he'd embrace endless night.

                      David  (1 April 2000)
There once was a poorest, young boy
Whose weapon should scarcely annoy.
With faith e'er defiant
He fought mighty giant
Who broke as a tall, flimsy toy.

                    Nabal  (21 October 1999)
There once was a rich man named Nabal
Whose proud, foolish soul stood unstable.
With rancor he raged
A wrath not assuaged
Till truth struck his heart e'er unable.

       David Confronted  (2 Samuel 11, 12:  29 July 2000)
Said the king with most perfect a plan
"Let him pay back four times if he can."
Then with judgment so cried
The prophet replied
"O murderer, you are the man."

    The Time of Waking  (Song of Solomon 2:7:  29 July 2000)
I charge you, my dear ones, this day
By All that makes passion to play
Let love not arise
To dazzle your eyes
Till it's pleased to let sleep drift away.

                  Ecclesiastes  (29 July 2000)
What labors have mortals begun
For fortune, for fame, or for fun.
But all becomes vanity
Such endless insanity
Weariness under the sun.

           Rehoboam  (1 Kings 12:1-17:  30 July 2000)
There once was a king, Rehoboam
Who spoke with a lesson to show'em:
"You wanted less pain
So I'll work you insane"
And they left as if none there did know'im.

             Elijah and the Widow  (11 August 2000)
There once was a widow so poor
Whose suffering none could ignore.
But such woman of zeal
Gave up her last meal
And e'er was sustained by God's Store.

                     Carmel  (27 July 2000)
They raged with unstoppable might
For their god to make blaze bold and bright.
But there fell no great flame
Till the Lord's prophet came
And just asked for his Maker's true light.

            The Still, Small Voice  (11 August 2000)
God's message the man did require
So soon there came storm, quake and fire
But rest would not reign
Till Silence spoke plain
And answered his deepest desire.

   Victory of Jehoshaphat  (2 Chronicles 20:  11 August 2000)
There once was an army so strong
That struck with such thundering throng.
But God's people small
Answered His call
And subdued them with Faith's simple song.

                     Naaman  (27 July 2000)
There once was a high, mighty chief
Whose disease brought uncleanness and grief
Till time after time
He bathed in the grime
And rose with full cleansing's relief.

                     Elisha  (28 July 2000)
There once was a faithful, old prophet
Who told taunting youths to get off it.
When they wouldn't obey
They fast became prey
For two bears which no rebel could scoff at.

                      Hosea  (27 July 2000)
Such Word unimagined before
Called a prophet to marry a whore
And as she would stray
He'd forgive her each day
As God for His own ever more.

                    Jonah  (21 October 1999)
There once was a prophet of woe
Who ran with his own way to go
But the Lord of his mission
Made haste to go fishin'
And stopped his soul swallowed below.

         Uzziah  (2 Chronicles 26:16-21:  1 August 2000)
There once was a king from the East
Who thought he could also be priest.
When he neared sacred room
God's judgment did loom
And he fled so unclean and decreased.

                     Exile  (1 August 2000)
The people whom Heaven so chose
Admired the gods of their foes.
So the Lord for His own
Let them suffer and groan
In such lands of all devilish woes.

               The Fiery Furnace  (1 August 2000)
There once were three men true and tried
Who for worshipping God would have died.
But such fire of sin
Burned no one within
Though it slew their tormenters outside.

                Nebuchadnezzar  (22 October 1999)
There once was a king high and proud
Who bragged of his greatness aloud
So God made him feast
As a lowliest beast
Till humbly his thoughts would be bowed.

              The Fall of Babylon  (1 August 2000)
There once was a power so super
That lay in presumptuous stupor.
So the words on the wall
Promised death to them all
And they fell in such blundering blooper.

                   Haman Foiled
(23 October 1999)
He spoke with great boldness untamed
With such dreams for increasing in fame
But the fool soon heard, "Go
Make your mightiest foe
Seize all which your pride just proclaimed."

     From the H that begins the previous poem, read every
fourteenth letter forward to spell, "Haman Foiled."

                Haman  (Esther:  20 October 1999)
There once was a great man of might
Whose sin was exposed in the Light
So he fell on the queen
But in gesture obscene
And hung high, a despicable sight.

              Christmas in Limerick  (27 July 2000)
There once reigned a strong, noble King
Before Whom all angels would sing.
But He chose to be born
To live weary and worn
To save sinners from hell's shameful sting.

             The Foolish Builder  (21 October 1999)
Once in a faraway land
A man built his house on the sand
But then came the rain
With trial and pain
And flattened it no more to stand.

                   Rich Man  (21 October 1999)
There once was a rich man of greed
Who planned so selfish a deed.
So the Lord from the sky
Said, "Tonight, you must die."
And he lost what a soul would most need.

                    Peter  (21 October 1999)
There once was a man proud and brave
Who aspired to walk on the wave
But by his own might
He sank out of sight
And would die but for Love stretched to save.

                  The Healer  (11 August 2000)
There once stood a Savior so pure
Before Whom no shame could endure.
The leper cast low
He'd touch free from woe
And grant him His cleanness and cure.

            Feeding the Five Thousand  (30 July 2000)
They craved for life's dear, wholesome dish
Their hearts only able to wish.
So the Lord, sent to heal
Made all a great meal
From only five loaves and two fish.

             To Be Forgiven  (John 8:  30 July 2000)
She stood as one all would abhor
Condemned there to die sick and sore.
But the Savior that day
Sent her judges away
And forgave that she'd sin never more.

                    The Cross  (30 July 2000)
There once hung our God of great might
With infinite power to fight
But His life He so gave
That our souls He would save
And redeem us to live in His Light.

                   The Savior  (27 July 2000)
There once lay a Savior of grace
Buried in death's final place.
But as none would suppose
In three days He rose
That all might enjoy life's embrace.

                     Satan  (30 March 2000)
There once was a tyrant named Satan
Who built his regime upon hatin'
But then from above
Came meekness and love
And toppled his realm without waitin'.

                   Ascension  (11 August 2000)
They watched with such wondering eyes
As their Savior toward Heaven did rise
But fast they would learn
That soon He'd return
And carry us Home to the skies.

           The Poor Man at Beautiful  (11 August 2000)
Said the men, "No great fortune we hold
But our faith which is grander than gold.
By Jesus so wise
We command you arise."
And the cripple leapt off free and bold.

             The Conversion of Paul  (28 July 2000)
He thought that God's Word he would heed
When starting most dark, violent deed
But Love's blinding Light
Redirected his sight
To Jesus Who's Vision must lead.

             The Gospel in Limerick  (30 March 2000)
O spirit so sickened with sin
Who fights for swift healing to win
Your soul won't stop dying
Until you stop trying
And rest with God's grace flowing in.

                    Can't  (20 October 1999)
Oh, can't is a four-letter word
Whose rambling should never be heard
For e'er you may stand
In faith that you can
As God offers Victory assured.

            Digesting  (Revelation 10:  29 July 2000)
A man was once told to devour
A scroll with most marvelous power.
To his mouth it was sweet
As he started to eat
But inside him his stomach turned sour.

           The Return  (Revelation 19:  29 July 2000)
Such evil this earth has not known
Shall thunder from hell's wicked throne.
But one mighty Call
Will seal sin's fall
As Jesus soars off with His own.

                   Ray McAllister.

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