Taylor opened his eyes.
The past two hours had gone by with no sleep, not even the thought of
drifting off. Their house wasn't extremely large, big enough to accomadate
the 7, six since Isaac moved in and 7 again because of the babies, Hanson
kids, and their two parents, but it wasn't small either. Taylor and Zac's room
was the first door as you went up the steps, and two more rooms and a
bathroom were farther along the hall. The stairs weren't high by any means,
there was only 10 of them and from the stairs, the room opened into a living
room. Zac cried for nearly an hour and a half. Non stop, and Taylor
almost wanted to go to him. Almost. Zac's muffles and blurred sobs could be
heard still, and Taylor's gut twisted everytime he could clearly hear him let
out another sob. But For some strange reason he couldn't. Couldn't get up
out of bed again, couldn't take the short walk out the door and down the stairs
to where his brother lay, and he couldn't hug him, and tell him that he was
sorry. Because he wasn't. And if he was then his mind was doing a damn
good job of lying to him. Taylor's eyes moistened. What Zac had done
to him was wrong, and it was not something easily forgiven. It wasn't even
that Zac had done so much as betray or anything. But the drug problem had
escalated to the family problems. Taylor didn't know why. A tear sprang
from one eye. He missed his brother. And not being able to tell him how
bad it hurt made that sting hurt worse. The ache in his stomach was now
more like a dull knife being twisted around, and Taylor coughed
slightly. Why was it so hard? Why couldn't he just stand up and go down
there. Why couldn’t he do it? Taylor wipped his face as more tears
came. This was ridiculous the way this was working. The way they acted
around eachother now days and the way Zac was in the living room, a 15
year old crying because life. A 15 year old Hanson. He should be glad not
sad. A 15 year old should be laughing and having fun not crying because of a
feud. They had it good, Taylor would be the first to admit it. So why was it like
this? He listened intently again to the sounds coming from the living
room. Now there were none. No sobs, no tears he thought. Zac stopped.
Maybe he was thinking. Taylor sat up. Looking over into the crib, he
sighed. His son was still asleep, so he stood. Should have done this an
hour ago, he thought. Taking akward steps to the door he sighed. "Here
goes everything." Zac lay on the sofa, one hand draped carelessly across
his face, his hair damp in places from sweat and tears. Taylor looked
more closely. One hand tucked under him and his upper body facing up.
Red lines traced his cheeks and nose. His lips were puffy, and his
chest rose and fell steadily. "Zac." Taylor swallowed hard as he stood
over his brother. "Zac?" He reached down and moved the hand from
his face. His eyes were red too, puffy from crying, but they were closed.
"Asleep." Taylor let out a sigh and sat down on the sofa next to
him. Looking at the curtained window, Taylor rested one hand on
Zac. "I know th…that you're asleep. And that you'll probably never hear
me say this. Cause, cause well I'm a chicken, and I won't ever be able to say
it to your face. But I'm sorry. About everything. About what I said tonight
cause well, not all of it's true. But you killed me Zac. With what you did, that
really hurt. And what you did to Ike. You hurt us Zac and I wish you hadn't. I
know that I shouldn't always hold that against you. Not for forever. Not ever
really, but if you were in my shoes. What would you do? Would you just…just
go on and live with it like that. I doubt it. I know that all I'm saying, well it's not
helping much cause your asleep. But I wish it was like old days. I wish we
didn't have to worry about drugs, and girls, and what other people think. I
wish we could do it all over again. Change the script a little and make it work.
I know that's not real probable, and I know the chances of that happening are
like, well never of course. But I still wish. Listen to me. I'm rambling to my
sleeping brother. How dumb is that." Taylor stood up and walked to the
chair, grabbing the blanket that rested on the back. "I know that you tried.
And I know that it probably doesn't feel real great to you either. But you have
to understand Zac. One of these days I bet you will." Taylor unfolded the
blanket and dropped it over Zac. "I just want you to know though, and I
always want you to know, that…I love you Zac and no matter what I think, or
you think, or anyone else thinks, I'll always love you. And…I want you to
know that and always understand that. Even if you are asleep. I hope you
know it when you wake up and for the rest of your life." Taylor walked
again to the foot of the stairs. "Night." Looking sleepily over to the crib she
jumped. "WHERE IS ARIANNA!" She jumped up, allowing her blankets
to slide off the bed and she bounded to the door. Pulling it open, she
raced down the stairs. Letting out a big sigh she shook her
head. "Damn both of you." Dorin and Jeremy were sitting on the floor,
Arianna between them, one was holding the bottle and one was pulling her
sleeper off. They looked up at her, giving awkward smiles and
shrugging. "I don't know how you do it every day. Every every day. She
squirms too much." Her legs were swinging in the air while Jeremy tugged
gently on the bottom of clothing. It came off with a little persuading, and
Jeremy looked up with a triumphant smile. "It's off!!" Dorin then set her
back down on her back and continued monitering the bottle. "So what are
you doing today." Dorin watched Jeremy as Mercy pulled her hair
back. "I don't know. I have some paper work to do, house shopping. Zac
wanted me to take him and Zac down to the mall on the otherside of town,
cause there's a new shop or something down there. Taylor gets both the kids
while I go out to lunch with Lissa, Diana wanted me to come over and help
her with something. A busy day I spose." The two guys nodded. "Your
just pawning off this kid to poor tay?" Mercy rolled her eyes. " I had to
sleep with this one in my room. Tristan is MUCH easier then her. Taylor can
have her when I go to lunch." Jeremy removed the dirty diaper and pulled
out the baby wipes. "Eeeewww." "Get over it." Jeremy finished up
his job of diaper changing and whipped out a pair of baby pants. "Too too
cute mey. Lookie how little they are!" She frowned. "You are way too
interested in this." The front door opened, and Taylor, a
baby in one arm and keys in the other came out. He walked to the
passenger door and peered in the open window. "I thought we were taking
my car." "No. Mine is better. Get in." He shrugged. Opening the
door he popped the seat foreward and reached in, pulling up the seatbelt to
the childseat. Leaning in to put Tristan in his place, he set him down,
pulling the belt down over Tristan. Mercy leaned behind to assist
him. "You are hopeless at these things Tay tay." He
shrugged. "He's in ain't he." "Don't say ain't." "Why. Ain't it in the
dictionary?" "Funny." He pushed the seat back and climbed
in. "Lets go house shopping." "Oh look whose up. How come you didn't sleep in your own
room." Avery stood in front of him, her 13 year old body blocking out the
light from the front window. "Go away Av." "No. You have a room.
Shoulda slept there." She swayed a finger at him and sat down on the
carpet. "You look sick." "Oh thanks." "You do. Your eyes are all, red
and gross." Zac reached up and rubbed his eyes. Still? They were Still
red?! Gee. "Want some pancakes. Mom's making
pancakes." "Sure." She whipped the blanket off of his body and offered
a hand. Grabbing it he used her a little and pulled himself up. "Taylor
said for me to tell you to remember to be ready for Mey when she comes
back." Zac frowned. "Your going to the mall doofus." His eyes
lightened. "Oh yeah. Thanks." He stood up and made his way to the
kitchen. "Morning mom." She leaned over and kissed him on the
cheek. "I hear your quite the little babysitter." Zac
frowned. "What?" "Your brother says your very good with babies. Are
you? You never told me." She smiled and continued mixing
batter. "Taylor told you that?" "Yup, and he said you even got up last
night and took care of Tristan." "Oh he did." "And you made him a
bottle." "And?" "And you put him to bed. He said he didn't even have to
get up." Zac paused. "Didn't have to get up?
"Yup. He said you did it all yourself. He said he was very
greatful." "Greatful huh." "You sound so surprised! He said you said
you could do it yourself." "Well, he just sounds real happy huh." She
smiled. "Kay mom. Breakfast?" Isaac looked at the white neon parked in front of the
house. "Taylor's home, see his car there. Nothing to worry about, I don't
even have to look at Zac."
Isaac stepped up to the door and knocked. He heard a bustling inside and
waited. Avery answered the door. "You bone head. You live here. You
don't need to knock." He smiled and stepped inside. "Where's
Taylor." She looked at him curiously. "Duh. He left. Him and Mey are
looking at houses." "He left?" "That's what I said brainiac." "Where's
mom then." "She and dad went to the grocery store and Walmart. They
just left." Isaac breathed hard. "Oh." "Zac and me are the only ones
here." "Oh." Isaac looked up as Zac walked from the
kitchen. "What. Now you don't have anything better to do then to come
over here and hang? Taylor isn't here. So leave. You don't need to hang
around. Leave a message." Isaac frowned. It was understandable that
Zac was always rude to him now. That was a fact of life. But this, this was
rude. This was a new high. "Oh. You must be master of the
house." "More so then you." "Oh really. Not my house eh? I lived in
with this family 5 years longer then you have." "So." "I don't need to
leave. It's my house too and I'm welcome here." "Not by everyone your
not." "You don't count." "You moved out, to get away from me. You
aren't a part of this anymore." Isaac's eyes flamed. "HELLO!! What the
heck is this! Death match 2003!!!" Avery stepped in between the boys
and waved her arms. "What are you two doing??" Isaac didn't take his
gaze off of his brother. She smacked him once in the stomach and he
looked down at her. "I think you need to go down the street to your friend's
house." "No way I won't. You guys might kill eachother." Isaac rested a
hand on her shoulder and gently guided her to the front door. "Yes. You
will." She squirmed a little but rather then fought back, she pulled the door
open. "I'm going to stand outside." "No. Your going to leave." "NO
I'M NOT!" Isaac gave her a quick shove out the door. "Hate to do this
to you Av. But you can't stay here right now." "DO THIS TO
ME!!!!" She slapped him on the hand. "DO NOT TOUCH HIM CLARKE
ISAAC HANSON!!!" He closed the door.
Mercy blinked as sunlight
poured on her face.
Mercy pulled up to the Hanson house, lightly
tapping her horn as she waited.
Zac stirred from his spot on the
sofa.
"Why am I talking to myself. This
is dumb."
