Taylor stretched out on the sofa.
He didn't want to get all sappy, and mushy, and he didn't particularly want to start talking about family, or anything like that. He didn't even want to think about them, why would he write them down, where he had to look at them everytime he wrote.
Brent was 100% right. It was really unlike him to be thinking about his family, but it was weird, because he didn't know what started it. Maybe running into Zac at the party had really got him to thinking, like what he was going to do the rest of his life, and where he wanted to go. What role every single person in his life was playing, and exactly why he saw them as that.
It was hard, because for so long those thoughts had just been erased completely out of his mind, it was like a foriegn language he had chosen to forget after highschool, and he had to try his best to remember every little detail.
He remembered how important morals and manners had been to his family, how strongly that had stuck together, even when things were at their horrible worst. But then something happened, and he couldn't remember what exactly, what significant detail had screwed it all up.
Looking down at his notebook, he shook his head.
What was her name anyway? Kimberly was it? Or was it Alison, or was Kimberly Alison's sister? No, her name was definitely Alison. Alison. If it was that hard to remember her name, he was going to have to work damn hard to remember the rest.
Taylor's head jerked up as the phone rang. It was so unsuspected, he hadn't realized that he'd been so lost in thought.
Walking over to the counter, he set his notebook down and picked up the phone.
"Um, yeah?"
"Hey Tay."
Taylor grinned. He usually only got calls from one person, suprisingly enough, it was Brent.
"Hey listen, you remember Mary? Highschool, duh?"
"Yeah sure."
"Well her and a few of the girls from school wanted to know if we wanted to go...."
"Brent listen man, that party was pretty cool, but I'm kinda thinking maybe I should stay home, I mean, I've been doing a little thinking."
Brent laughed.
"Nagh, that's not what they wanted anyway. They have a friend who really digs you, like has for a while. She actually doesn't live too far from you, they wanted to know if we all wanted to go to the movies or something."
"A chick that digs me? Sure."
"No really, I'm serious, even if you aren't interested, we could still go hang out at a flick."
Taylor looked back at the counter, and shook his head.
"What if you call me a little later, I was going to run to the store and pick up a paper...there might be a job or something in there."
There was a pause.
"You're really going to look for a job?"
Laughing, Taylor nodded.
"I figured it's a start right?"
Isaac peered into the windowless room through a tiny slit in the door.
"Zac."
Pushing the door just a bit further, he stuck his head in, looking hard at the figure on the bed.
"Hey you coulda answered me."
Zac shrugged.
"What's the matter?"
Shaking his head he sighed. He didn't really want to go into it. He'd done a lot of thinking and he just wasn't in the mood to transfer those to coherent speech. He really just wanted to be left alone. Besides. It wasn't like he and Ike were on great terms anyway, he was in one of those moods where he didn't feel like talking to anyone, let alone someone he didn't really feel comfortable around.
"Nothing, not of importance anyway."
The door swung open all the way as Isaac took a hesitant step forward.
"Mind if I...uh, sit down?"
Shaking his head, Zac motioned to a stack of plastic tubs sitting at the end of the bed, just the right height for sitting.
The silence lasted a long time, it was akward, it was unusual, and it was growing on Zac's every last nerve.
"Ike...not to be...not to be a drag or anything, but I really don't want to go into it."
Nodding, Isaac sighed, looking down at the rough carpet and his socked feet.
"I can understand that."
Looking up from his position on the bed Zac frowned.
"It's not like that, it's just...it's just I'm not much of a talker. More of a thinker I guess, and I figure it's pretty hard for a thinker to make people understand his thoughts, cause he does it in his head...if that makes any sense."
"Oh..sure, plenty."
"I mean, sometimes maybe I forget that too much thinking gets me in trouble, like I should have just said it out loud cause the chances of me getting in as much trouble are so much less. But this time it's good to think...you know? Like I figure I did something wrong somewhere along the way, cause she's real mad at me, and so now I have to use my brain to get myself out of it."
Isaac didn't quite know whether to sit there, and just blink, or if he should leave. Zac had said he really didn't want to go into it, but he was sure doing a fine job right at the moment.
He had to admit, as much hostility as he had felt towards his younger sibling a few days ago, he couldn't understand why it had been so strong. As far as he could tell, he actually cared about what Zac was telling him, which was interesting, because as of a week ago, he didn't dare even think about making contact with him. So now, when Zac was finally sitting down and trusting him with just a sliver of his personality, and his problems, Isaac didn't know if he should stay, for fear of ruining things. The closeness he'd felt for Zac lately had definitely come rapidly, and it was almost a little scary, cause it made him half forget the reason he was mad at him in the first place.
"So you know? I mean, maybe it's just miscomunication too, and she doesn't understand what I'm saying, or I don't understand her, but there's something in my mind that tells me I really want this to work. I want to be different. I want my mind to help me understand why things are the way they are."
Sighing Zac swung his legs over the edge of the bed.
"I just don't get it though. I mean I really hadn't thought that I'd done anything, I still don't really know exactly what it is I've done. I wish she'd understand that I'm pretty damn clueless myself."
"You know Zac, maybe she's pretty hurt right now, and the only way she can rectify it is by making you go through it with her."
"Hurt about what?"
"I dunno. Maybe you, or maybe something you don't know about. Maybe she just wanted you to say sorry, and ask her to come over for a while. Who knows."
Shaking his head, Zac sighed.
"That's just it, I don't get it. I don't understand why she couldn't just ask me..."
"Zac...hate to be the one to tell you this, but I'll bet she, more then anyone, knows that it's hard to stay in a relationship with you."
Indignantly, Zac looked over at his brother.
"Pardon? How do you figure?"
He didn't really know how to explain it. Maybe Zac really didn't understand the way he was, which would make it even harder to explain if his brother didn't believe it.
"Zac...your a bit introverted, I mean, you don't really explain much, and maybe she wanted you to. Maybe this her way of forcing you to do that."
"Whatever."
That's exactly what Isaac had meant by not wanting to get in too deep this time. He hadn't wanted to make anyone angry. He figured enough was enough as of now. He'd played more then his share in this conversation.
"Anyway Zac. I have to run to the store, so you think about all that...as little as it was, and consider that maybe she does still want something to do with you."
"You aren't going to just leave it at that are you?"
Isaac stood, stretching and sighing.
"That's exactly where I'm going to leave it. You don't seem to understand that you and I have had a lot of time off from eachother, and what happened then wasn't just some small little brat fight we had. It was a big deal. I've had enough to do with it this time."
"So now what? Are you going to retract every statement, every piece of advice you've made? What?"
"Maybe the time for this is later, and maybe the person you should be talking about this too is Tammy. You don't think that you and I...have kinda rushed things?"
"How do you figure?"
Moving to the door Isaac shrugged.
"I figure, like we need time to adjust before we delv into one another problems again. Give it time."
Isaac walked to the door and turned back.
"I really do hope things work out okay."
Turning back he stepped out.
"Hey Zac, get up."
