Chapter forty

Taylor, sat alone. For the first time in months, he wasn't actually thinking about heading on over to his girlfriend's house. Wow.

He sat in the studio, in front of his keyboard, messing around with certain tunes that had crossed his mind. Jotting down occasional notes or chords he thought would be interesting, then playing them back to himself.

Today he had the studio to himself. His oldest brother had not really shown an interest in working today, and lately, Zac hadn't been to motivated either. Last spring, their new album had come out, proving to be well brought, it had raised people's interest again and had shown that they still had what it took. Later that year, fairly few promotionals had been done, and they had spent time with family, friends, and hanging out. Allowing their fame and the insanity that followed to die down to a minimum.

It was still crazy never the less.

Few interviews had taken place, enough to show they were still alive and working on their favorite thing, music. But not enough to reveal what was actually going on, or going to happen.

Chris had talked to them about an upcoming album, maybe a Christmas one, but now that Christmas had come and gone, it obviously had not happened.

Now, spring again, Zac Hanson 14, and his best friend almost there, Isaac 19, and his friend and almost brother Dorin, was almost there too.

Then there was Jeremy.

As far as Taylor could tell, Jeremy was on the road with a bad ending. He almost never saw him anymore, and when he did, he had his girlfriend, with whom he sincerely seemed to love, cradled in his arms. And yet, he didn't seem like the Jeremy he had been when they first met. Taylor couldn't tell, but it was almost as if Jeremy was sinking into depression. Even though he had no reason to be. He had a girlfriend, he was keyboardist in an upcoming and inspired band, and he lived alone, didn't need a job, and was doing fairly well in school. What wrong could there be?

Taylor thumped out the notes more quickly now.

Mercy would not be 17 for almost half a year. She was just a child as Taylor's mother put it, but even Taylor's sister Jessica knew better then that.

Taylor stopped playing for a moment and looked out the glass window to the sound room. A place he knew all too well, and yet, a place he never grew tired of, a place that was more of a sanction then a burden.

He found most times, when he was alone, he thought of life, love, family and friends, more then he wanted to. But more often then not, he remembered them, and they inspired inquisitions and questions he held for days, if not weeks and months.

He looked down at his keyboard. Quietly sighing he lifted his pad of paper from his lap and placed on the synthesizer. Reaching over and flicking off a few switches, he turned, heading for the door.

As he stepped from the small carpeted recording room, he heard his cell phone on the soundboard ringing.

"Damnit, who the hell would call me right now?"

Quickly walking to the phone he lifted it, pulling it open.

"Hello?"

Mercy's voice quavered on the other end.

"Tay? Hun...Hun please come over to Jem's house real quick. Please?"

Taylor's heart dropped.

"Mey? You okay? Is everything alright?"

"Not really. Just get over here before Door does kay."

Taylor whispered yes and then pocketed the phone.

Grabbing his jacket from a chair and racing out the door, he locked it and walked to his car.


"Mey you have to understand it's not my fault."

Nikki sat on the floor, leaning against the wall, red lines down her face from the steady flow of tears.

"Not your fault? Not your fault!! Don't you get it? You don't even understand anything! He was clean before you got your hands on him. He was even telling Zac! Zac of all people, the little brother who gave a shit about the rest of the world, he told Zac to stay off shit, drugs, and alcohol. And look what you did!!! You made him contradict himself!"

Mercy stormed back into the bedroom where her 17-year-old brother lay. Flopping down next to him on the mattress, she lay down, putting her head on his chest.

She knew that he would be okay, that this was just some sort of fit that a person's body threw when you pumped it full of too much drugs. She knew that from Zac, but this was Jeremy. Jem, her older brother who had beaten up ex boyfriends for her, helped her with homework, and acted almost like a father. And now, because of nikki, they were going to go through this whole thing. Again.

It wasn't fair.

She reached up and pushed the hair out of his face.

Nikki walked into the room, holding a cigarette in one hand, and pulling her own long, dirty hair from her face.

"Mercy I know he's your brother and everything…but…"

"There are no buts. Look what you did!"

"Mercy! Stop it! It takes two! He had to agree to do it!"

Mercy looked up at nikki. Hatred written across her face and tears beginning to trickle out of the corners of her eyes.

"I didn't mean to hurt you or him Mercy."

Mercy rolled over, looking her sleeping brother in the face.

The doorbell rang, and before nikki could get to the front door, Taylor had already entered.

"Where's Mey."

Nikki pointed to the hallway.

Not taking the time to thank nikki, he walked straight to the bedroom.

Mey looked up.

"Aww Mey. He'll be okay."

Mercy let a fresh batch of hot tears stream from her eyes.

Taylor walked to her.

"He will okay, I'm sure of it."

Mercy nodded.

Taylor walked to Jeremy's side, and looked at his girlfriend.

"Help me wouldja, let's get him in the car."

Mercy climbed from her spot and walked to Taylor's side.

They picked up Jeremy's top half just as they heard angry voices.


"Dorin! Sit down and shut up already! Leave him alone!"

Dorin whipped around to stare at his sister.

"Oh, so then, Mey, when were you planning on telling me?"

"I wasn't! That was all! Tay was helping me take him to the hospital and then we were going to help him and Nikki get through this."

"Too bad for you she was dumb enough to call here first."

"SHUT UP DORIN!"

Taylor sat on the porch step as he listened to Mercy and Dorin yell inside.

"Don't tell me to shut up Mey. Don't even start with me."

"I will if I want! He's your brother Door! You're supposed to help him! Not ridicule and hate him."

"What the hell am I supposed to do now then? Sit here and let him throw his life away?"

"No! But I swear to god Dorin if you make it so he can't see Nikki again you'll regret it."

There was a long silence.

"Dorin. He's your brother. He loves you I know he does, and if there were ever a time that he wouldn't it would be if you take him away from her. Don't do that."

Dorin's tone dropped.

"What am I supposed to do Mercy? Zac, he's never home anymore, you, your going off with Taylor, you're growing up, your leaving, you and Taylor, and now Jeremy. The one that I thought would go off and do something musical, he loves music, look what he did. I thought the one thing we had was family, and music. What, don't we have that anymore?"

"Dorin you're not losing us, and were not losing music either."

Taylor heard footsteps as Dorin walked from the kitchen and headed up the steps.

Behind him, the screen door opened and he waited as Mercy sat down next to him.

"Tay."

Taylor looked to his side expectantly.

"What."

Mercy sighed.

"I'm depressed."

"So what do you want me to do about it?"

Looking over at him and leaning her head on his shoulder, she sighed.

" Sing to me."


Zac Hanson giggled.

"Han the man, you're like, 14, you don't giggle. Anyway, how many times have we gone over this?"

Zac Hanson shrugged.

"I don't remember. But I still can't help but giggle."

The two sat in their small hang out. Now, equipped with a small color TV, a stereo, and a few games.

"Well don't giggle anymore."

"Reer. Here kitty kitty."

"Hey! Who's the supplier here? Who depends on that?"

Zac Hanson shut up and smiled.

"D, your such a cool dude."

Zac Dentra rolled his eyes as he pulled the tin of papers out of his pack.

Even though he had said only once, he couldn't help admit, that drugs were like lays potato chips. You couldn't have just one.

They had been frequently coming to their place for almost 2 months now. Both of them thoroughly used to make up stupid excuses, and having their gullible families believe them. Word for word.

"Turn on the tube Han."

Zac Hanson jumped up, hitting the power button then surfing as his friend rolled him a joint.

As of now, Zac had been introduced to more then he would have thought,

Crack, LSD, acid, not to mention pot.

He knew that it was morally wrong, and he knew that if they were caught, the consequences would be large. But on that other side there was the temptation of a hard day, just washed away. A peacefulness he couldn't find at home, and last but not least, quality time with D.

Zac found a channel and walked back to the sofa. Zac Dentra handed his friend a joint and the two sat down, lighting up, and falling back into their quiet time.


"Dorin, I know this is hard for you to hear and everything, but it's not as bad as it seems."

Isaac had pulled Dorin from his home, and had taken him out to a local restaurant.

"Hard to hear? Oh please. The only problem you have to worry about is your brother having sex with Mey."

Dorin sighed.

"That's not true."

"Is too."

"Is not, Look at Zac, he could be having sex too."

Dorin, despite his mood could not help but chuckle.

"I know it seems all bad, but once you guys pull everyone together, and get working on a tour and an album, you'll do much better."

Dorin nodded.

"Hope your right."


Jeremy sat on the floor, his back resting against the sofa, Mercy sitting behind him, and Dorin standing in front of him.

"So Jem. I'm not doing anything about it, I just hope you make the right decision."

Jeremy's eyes were fixed on the carpet below Dorin's feet.

Nodding his acceptance, Jeremy swallowed.

"Sorry Door."

Dorin sighed as he looked his sister in the face.

"S'okay Jem, just sorta hurt."

Dorin walked from the room to the kitchen.

"Mey?"

"What Jem."

"Do you hate me?"

"Jem not even Dorin hates you. He just couldn't believe you'd do that to yourself."

Jeremy sighed, standing up and walking up the stairs to his new room.


"So how'd things go?"

Dorin walked in the front door of the Hanson's house, pulling off his jacket as 5-year- old Mackenzie ran up and embraced his legs.

"Hey little man."

Lifting him into his arms, Dorin walked to the kitchen where Isaac had called from.

"Good evening Dorin."

Diana called from the other room.

"Hi Diana!"

Dorin placed Mackenzie on the floor and proceeded to the kitchen.

"So answer my question already."

"He moved back home."

Isaac sighed.

"It'll be better you know that right?"

"Zac doesn't want him to."

"Why?"

Dorin sighed. Shrugging his shoulders he took a deep breath.

"Cause I think something's going on there."

Chapter 41
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