"The Robeast Incident"
"The Robeast Incident"
[Author’s Note: First and foremost I want to keep something straight: I don’t dislike
Cossack. As a matter of fact, I rather like him. He’s cool in his own bumbling way. The
thing is that he’s just the easiest to make fun of. -L- Also, this piece of writing is actually at least a couple of years old. I found it just a little while ago and decided that it might be worth salvaging. It may be a little rough as my editing process was limited to only a few minutes, but it seems readable. Now, without further delay, may I present "The Robeast Incident", staring none other than Cossack the Terrible.]
He sat down in his chair with an aggravated sigh. Things were not going his way at all.
'First that infernal captain has to make a big scene, then just when I catch the princess he
takes her away from me....again!' He slammed his fist into the arm console of his chair
angrily. Cossack involuntarily flinched at the sound. The commander hesitated and
approached the prince very slowly.
"Ah, Sire....shouldn't we return home now? I mean Voltron could catch up to us at
anytime if we stall much longer. It would be a disaster if they caught us and-"
"Silence!!!" Cossack jumped. "I know that Voltron is coming you dolt! Hagar has some
new monstrosity to unleash or so she tells me!" he paused momentarily to turn on his
com unit. "Hagar! Get down here at once!" The dark prince turned back to Cossack
with a scowl.
"Is there anything you can do to help with this plan or are you going to foul things up like
you usually do?" Cossack started to open his mouth to say something but was cut off by
an impatient wave from his prince. "Never mind, I don't need an answer." He shook his
head angrily as he dismissed his captain.
Lotor drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair impatiently. 'Where is that old witch?'
He scanned the room looking from one corner to the other, searching for some sign of the
old crone. With his teeth clenched, he stood and walked to the middle of the bridge to
stare up at the blank view screen. As he folded his hands behind his back, the door to the
large room opened and Hagar shuffled her way into the room. She waited patiently for
him to address her.
"Well, Hagar, it's about time." he said roughly, still standing with his back to her.
"Yes, I'm sorry my prince; I had some things to finish before I could present my plan to
you. Are you ready to hear it, my lord?" Lotor's head dropped a bit in thought and after a
short time of staring at the ground he raised his head and walked back towards his seat.
Hagar watched as her master slowly climbed the steps to his command chair, his anger
painfully obvious. When he finally took his seat, Hagar beckoned Cossack into the room
and switched on the giant view screen.
"My Prince, this robeast is the most powerful robeast I have ever created. It will be a
sure and swift victory." Lotor snorted in exasperation.
"So you've said at every battle. I would hope this one would be different." Hagar sighed
as the image of her hideous creation lit up the screen.
"This is my newest creation. He is bigger, stronger, and will be even smarter than
Voltron." Lotor quirked a white eyebrow.
"Smarter? How can a robeast be smarter than the Voltron Force?" Hagar smiled
wickedly.
"Cossack will fly it of course!" Cossack's mouth dropped open in surprise.
"Me! Why me! Why not you fly that ugly thing!" Lotor just shook his head.
"Hagar, I'm disappointed in you. What ever gave you the idea that Cossack was
intelligent, let alone more so than the Voltron Force? You know he couldn't even begin
to comprehend how to work that thing." Cossack nodded vigorously.
"Yeah! You know I'm not that...hey!" Lotor and Hagar both rolled their eyes.
"Poor fool. I almost feel sorry for him -- almost." she mumbled under her breath. Lotor
eyed her but didn't comment. He had turned his attention back to the view screen to take
a better look at the monster. The thing roared and flexed in the direction of the screen
hoping to make a good impression on the prince, if it could actually do such a thing.
Lotor blinked in disbelief as he studied the horrid thing more closely.
"That has to be the UGLIEST robeast I've EVER seen! What did you do to that thing,
Hagar?" she looked at him smugly.
"Oh, I just modeled it after Cossack, but of course, I had to make it a bit better looking."
Lotor nodded with a snicker.
"I see the resemblance now. The looks of it alone may scare Voltron back to Arus."
Cossack was obviously beginning to get aggravated.
"It's always me! Always the one to get picked on!" he mumbled under his breath. Then
he added a bit louder, "But it does have quite a striking resemblance. Hmmmm, maybe I
will fly that thing. After all, it is modeled after my handsome self." Hagar suddenly
cackled.
"Dream on, Cossack!" Lotor promptly erupted in laughter while Cossack looked up at
his prince feeling that HE wouldn't be any help. The poor commander turned back to
Hagar with an annoyed look on his face.
"You're just jealous you don't have my looks!" Lotor’s laughter increased and as a result,
almost fell out of his chair from the violent shaking of his body. Oddly enough, Hagar
was about ready to join him.
"Poor...laugh....fool!" Lotor managed to say between breaths and bursts of
laughter. After he composed himself, he turned to Hagar.
"Well, what are you waiting for old witch! Send it after Voltron!" Hagar nodded quickly
and motioned for Cossack to follow her. After they disappeared out the door, Lotor
chuckled softly as he shook his head.
"They make an odd team, but the laughs those two cause are enough whether or not they
manage to get rid of Voltron. Of course, it would be a major improvement if they did
and it would save me a lot of grief." The dark prince shrugged and turned his attention
back to his view screen once more, but this time with a smirk on his face.
"All right, Hagar, now how did you say I work this thing?" the old witch rolled her eyes
in frustration.
"You're hooked up to it mentally you moron! All you have to do is think what you want
it to do!" Cossack scratched his head, which consequently the robeast did as well.
"So you mean I have powers like Queen Merla?"
"Yes, you dolt! Now get going before Prince Lotor has us both thrown into the pit of
skulls!" she screeched at him, staff raised.
"But Hagar, he can't do that, we're not on Doom, remember?" Hagar clenched her teeth
in an effort to keep from screaming at the fool commander for the hundredth time in the
past hour. After a series of deep breaths, she turned back to him with a fake smile.
"I know that Cossack. I mean he'll do it when we get home." she paused for a moment
for effect, then her placid demeanor changed abruptly. "Now get going!"
Cossack/robeast jumped into the air and started a course in the direction of Voltron.
"Yes, mam!" he squeaked. Hagar sighed in aggravation as she slumped into her small
throne. She looked around for Coba, suddenly wishing he was around. Disappointed,
she turned her attention to her crystal ball to see what was happening with Cossack. To
her surprise and joy as well, the robeast was right on course and making wonderful
time.
"I guess Cossack can do something right every once in a while after all. The prince will
be happy to hear this!" she cackled with glee. Hagar relaxed in her chair and seeped into
deep thought.
Lotor watched Voltron speed towards his impending doom. He studied the screen a
moment longer then barked an order to one of his pilots.
"Find out the time when Cossack will be in Voltron's range of vision." he smirked and
added, "They will be in for a big surprise." The pilot rushed to find the answer to his
prince's question and replied quickly in the usual robot monotone.
"Exactly 45 minutes sire, shall we inform General Cossack?" Lotor nodded and the pilot
once again hurried off. The dark prince settled back in his chair with a wicked grin on
his face, one of a man who was positive he would win. His daydreams of triumph were
suddenly interrupted by a nerve splitting cackle that could belong to only one person.
Lotor sighed.
"Hagar...what do you want now old witch? Can't you see that I'm busy?" he glared at her
from his seat as she came to stand before him at the bottom of the stairs. She grinned,
causing him to shudder in revulsion.
"I just came to watch the fight, sire. It should be a good one." she commented as she
took her seat. The prince just shook his head and turned back to watch.
In the meantime, Cossack was getting quite bored of just flying through space. Even
though he knew that Voltron was ahead and that this trip might be his last, he was bored
out of his mind. The commander yawned sleepily and kept flying .
Soon enough, he saw something in the distance and squinted to make it out.
"Voltron!" he exclaimed, suddenly as frightened as he was relieved to have something to
do. As he neared the figure his fear mounted with each passing minute. Soon, he knew,
he would be fighting for his life.
Lance stared at his monitor in disbelief. "Ah, Keith?" The commander scowled as he
turned his com on.
"Yeah, what is it?" he asked irritably.
"I don't know how to break this to you, but there’s something headed in our
direction...fast and closing." Keith switched his visual com off and turned it back on to
the normal view screen. Sure enough, there was something in the distance.
"One of Hagar's robeasts?" Allura asked.
Lance shrugged, "Probably, Princess. You know Lotor, he settles everything with one of
Hagar's little pets."
"Well, guys let's get ready for a fight then!" Pidge exclaimed. Voltron stopped flying and
waited for the creature to approach them instead. Keith's com began to blink signifying
that someone was attempting to open a channel with them. He quickly opened the
channel and waited.
"Hello there, Voltron Force. It's me, Cossack! You know, the 'Terrible'."
"Yeah, yeah, we know who you are." Lance replied. "Tell your robeast to hurry up and
get over here so we can get this over with and go home."
Cossack smirked despite himself, "I AM the robeast! . . . well, I'm flying it anyway." he
mumbled. Lance being his usual self muttered under his breath. Keith glared at him
through his side com and turned back to the transmission.
"Well, then get over here so we can get it on!" Keith exclaimed fist raised...even though
Cossack couldn't see him. Lance pretended to gag, letting his commander know how he
felt about the comment. Keith shot him a glance then switched off the transmission.
"What's wrong with what I said?" he asked truly perplexed. Lance raised an eyebrow in
disbelief.
"You mean to tell me you don't know?...Oh brother! Nevermind..." He covered his eyes
with his hands.
Keith stared back at him, "What?!" Lance just shook his head and remained in his
position. Every once in a while he would say something under his breath concerning
Keith and his wonderfully ‘witty’ phrases.
The Cossack Beast approached the lions at a cautious pace, avoiding them as best he
could. His remarks may have been cocky enough but Cossack knew this was no game.
He could easily be killed and then that would be it. No more Cossack. The General
gulped at the thought but kept going in the direction of the lions.
To his determent, the lions quickly formed Voltron and were waiting for him. Sighing,
Cossack ordered the robeast to take the sword off its back.
"Well, here goes nothing..." he thought aloud. Voltron charged, Blazing Sword in hand.
The two weapons slammed against each other with blinding light as the robots strove for
superiority. Voltron stumbled backwards as the powerful robeast struck him hard in the
chest. Taking the opportunity to attack, Cossack charged, raising his sword high above
his head, just as Voltron raised his own sword in reply.
After many hours, the pilots of both robots were exhausted. Cossack had not been beaten
but neither had the mighty Voltron.
"Hard to believe," Lance commented. "That Cossack would be the most dangerous
monster we've come up against." The others nodded in agreement.
"I told you I would beat you," Cossack said with a smirk. Lance glared at him through
his com.
"No one's won yet!" Lance replied angrily.
"Oh yeah...I forgot." Cossack mumbled as he played with the controls of his robeast.
After a few minutes of thinking he spoke up.
"Hey, I have an idea. How about we call this off and we all go home. I'm tired." The
Voltron pilots talked among themselves for a while until Keith finally switched back to
Cossack.
"I guess we might as well... Just don’t let me catch you out here again!" Lance sighed
before slamming his head against the console of his lion. Cossack, on the other hand,
smiled and headed back towards Planet Doom without another thought.
Back on Lotor's command ship...
"He did WHAT!?!?" Hagar ducked the flying objects that were wising by her head.
"That's right sire, he called it off." Prince Lotor paced the room in fury and Hagar
watched as everyone quickly dashed for the door to escape the Prince's rage. The old
witch tried to sneak out as well but was caught.
"And just where do you think YOU’RE going, Old Witch!" Hagar froze in her tracks and
turned around, mumbling something to herself.
"No where, sire." She sighted softly as Lotor smirked angrily in her direction.
"Good..." Lotor stopped pacing and went back to his seat much to Hagar's relief. Taking
a long sip out of his goblet he turned his gaze back to the witch. "When we arrive on
Doom I want you to have Cossack brought to the throne room. He will have the 'reward'
of telling my father of his 'victory'." Hagar cackled at the thought of Zarkon's reaction to
what Cossack would have to tell him.
For once, Lotor and Hagar wouldn’t be the ones to face the blunt wrath of an irate
Zarkon. This time, they could stand back and watch the fireworks from a safe
distance.
