Fun Things to do in an Elevator

-- To a man, say "Joe, how have you been?", and carry on a conversation with him like you've known him forever.

-- Introduce yourself as Ochenga-Wangaa The great chief and begin telling stories of your native island.

-- Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.

-- Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

-- Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

-- Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

-- On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

-- Shave.

-- Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

-- Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

-- Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

-- When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

-- Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

-- On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

-- Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

-- When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"

-- Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

-- Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"

-- Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

-- Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.

-- Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

-- Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

-- Leave a box between the doors.

-- Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

-- Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

-- Start a sing-along.

-- When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

-- Play the harmonica.

-- Say "Ding!" at each floor.

-- Lean against the button panel.

-- Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

-- Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

-- Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

-- Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

-- Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

-- Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

-- Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."

-- If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"

-- Draw a chalk outline of a person on the floor. When the other passengers enter, say, "Poor Danny, he was my best friend."

-- Say, "See? That's the noise it made just before it fell last time!"

-- Push all the buttons when people get on and say you can't decide which floor to go on.

-- While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper,"hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.