People often mistake my fear
For pride
Always keeping to myself
They think me too proud to ask for
Help
But really
I am far too frightened
To put my feelings on display
I didn't use to be
But after years of ignoring and trampling
I finally had the sense
To hide them away
So they would suffer no more
Abuse
And now
Away from trampling feet
And closed minds
I still protect myself
Fearing exposure
I err on the side of caution
I no longer understand the nature
Of people
What once was the rule
Is now lucky to be the exception
And so I am confused
Largely by my role in all this
But I long ago grew weary
Of becoming what people wanted of me
And in my defiance
I became confused
For I had alienated even those
Who claimed to be striving for
The same goal as me
Perhaps I am not meant to understand
Or belong
And thus I am alone
Defiant
And too wise for what I am
I am four and four hundred
In twenty
People don't know what to
Make of me
So they either destroy or
Segregate themselves from
That which they do not
Or cannot
Or will not
Comprehend
Not caring that this poor soul
Carries feelings that do get hurt
Sometimes very, very easily
But she is far, far too afraid
To ever let you know that...
Copyright Rachael Murray. This poem may not be used or reproduced
without the express permission of the author. Want to know the story behind
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