The Purple Iguana were discovered not all that long ago. A friend of mine, who is, in fact, the Purple Iguana King, has a cousin who thought it would be a good idea, not to mention terribly useful, to learn how to say "Purple Iguanas are falling from the sky!" in as many languages possible. I mean, I know that I say it all the time. You just never know when you'll be walking down the streets of San Salvador and everyone is relying on you to be the one to declare,
So it came to pass that the Purple Iguana, a race of intelligent--though not that smart, really--reptiles came into existence.
My friend, Heather, found it her duty to help her cousin in this noble linguistic crusade. She is the one who first confided in me about the existence of the Purple Iguana. I was, needless to say, skeptical, but if my friend says that she sees little purple slimy things scampering around... who am I to disagree? I simply nodded quietly, softly patted her head, and refrained from making any sudden movements or introducing any shiny, light-catching objects into her immediate environment.
Another day, Heather informed me that the loveable gooey creepy-crawlies had given Heather the honor of being their King. Yes, King. And yes, I know that Heather is female. However, the Iguana didn't seem to be aware of that fact. As Heather tells it, the Iguana had little understanding of the concept of gender at the time of her Coronation. Later, when they realized their mistake, they were too embarassed and frightened to correct themselves, fearing that the King would be offended and that someone would have to pay the penalty for such a blunder.
Little did I know that being told these things put my life in great peril. It seems that the Purple Iguana are highly secretive--not to mention highly invisible--and when they became aware that their King had told an outsider of their existence, they flew into a rage. There seemed only one course of action...
... a swift death.
Thankfully, King Heather begged for mercy, pleading on my behalf that my life should be spared, that I could, in fact, be of some use to the Purple Iguana. The lizard leader pondered this for a moment and decided that such a horrible fate as mine could be spared if I devoted my life to the Purple Iguana and joined their Royal Family as Princess.
And so it came to pass that I accept the Royal Sceptor and Name of Princess of the Purple Iguana.
There is only one problem with this whole story. You see, now you have been told of the existence of the Purple Iguana, and so you might be subject to the same ill fate as I. Fear not, though, fair friends, for I have discovered a little loophole around this fiasco in the making.
It seems that the Purple Iguana were not as strict upon my Coronation Day as they were to my Father and friend, the King. I was presented with no code of conduct. I was given no protocol for public address. And so, I jump all over that loophole to tell you all about my new-found family.
Not to mention the fact that I don't really believe in the little buggers. *smile* So.....
