>> Why are men such jerks? >> >>It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to >>your PMS thing, we men >>suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do >>you think the average >>lifespan of a male is typically 10 years >>shorter (and it's not just >>from all the bitching and nagging we have to >>endure)? Hormone >>modifies behavior. We're just >>misunderstood. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why do men always have to ogle at other >>women? >> >>Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you >>honestly think that all >>the testosterone just fell out of our bodies >>the moment we met you? >>Besides, women do it as well. Women are >>just much better at not >>getting caught. I'm fairly certain it's >>some sort of photographic >>memory deal. Women take one quick look and >>memorize it for later >>reference. Since men lack this ability, we >>try to burn it into our >>memory by staring as much as we can. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why do men always touch themselves, >>especially in public? >> >>We occasionally need to adjust our little >>friend and make him happy. >>It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in >>public is just an added >>bonus. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why do men always say such stupid things? >> >>We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun >>to see our partner >>frustrated by a few simple (and well chosen) >>words. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why are men so uncommunicative? >> >>You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too >>if every time you open it >>you get into trouble with your partner. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why do men have to act like such retards? >> >>Well, we don't actually have to; we do it >>because we enjoy it. It's >>the old fashioned pride in a job well done >>that's missing in so much >>of the world nowadays. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why can't men just share their feelings? >> >>Do we look like women to you? Why is it so >>hard to understand that >>men and women are different? How are we >>supposed to share how we >>feel when we have no idea how we feel? >>Unless we're experiencing >>some extreme emotion like rage, hatred, >>disgust, or a brick on our >>foot, we have no idea how we feel. >>Personally, I get a headache >>whenever I try to figure out how I feel. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why can't men cuddle more (i.e. lie down and >>hug)? >> >>Please... How many hours do you think there >>is in a day? We oblige >>you as much as we can, but who the heck >>(besides women) can stand >>lying around for hours on end? We men... >>Men hunters... Need go >>roam...Starve in cave... Must go find >>wildebeest... Now sitting on >>our asses for hours on end on the other hand >>is a whole other story. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>How can men sit on their asses all day >>without moving? >> >>Men have very powerful sets of sitting >>muscles developed by evolution >>that enable us to sit for extended periods >>of time without getting >>tired. In prehistoric times, it was often >>necessary to sit in one >>spot for extended periods of time while >>hunting for prey. The more >>successful hunters were able to sit very >>still for very extended >>periods of time thereby passing on this >>ability to their progeny. The >>figgidy types were all gobbled up by saber >>toothed tigers etcetera. >>The end result is that almost all modern men >>are born with this >>innate ability. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why can't men just say "I love you?" >> >>Men are taught from a tender young age to be >>self-sufficient. To say >>that we love you is equivalent to saying >>that we need you. Most men >>consider that a character fault. It's not >>easy to admit to one's own >>character faults. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why do men say "I love you" when they hardly >>know me? >> >>Ho, Ho, Ho... Aren't you special? Well, some >>men think it's a sure >>fire way to get into your pants. >>Surprisingly, it actually still >>works quite well. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>What does it mean when men say "I Love You? >> >>1 Please sleep with me. >>2 I'm sorry for whatever it is that I did. >>3 I forgot to get you a gift; this will have >>to do. >>4 Huh? I'm sorry; I wasn't listening. >>5 What did I forget? This should buy me a >>little time. >>6 Stop nagging me. >>7 What do I have to do to get a beer around >>here? >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why doesn't my partner ever answer me? >> >>We just simply don't have the energy to >>answer every single one of >>your questions. If we think we do not have >>the answer, or that you >>will not like the answer, we simply remain >>quiet and save the energy >>for other things. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why won't men ever pick up after themselves? >> >>Why should we? It doesn't really bother us >>that much. Besides, we >>know darn well you'll pick it up. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>What's with all the belching and farting? >> >>This usually only occurs after months of >>courting. It's our way to >>let you know that we're comfortable with >>you. Believe it or not, >>it's actually a sign of affection. Besides, >>holding it for extended >>periods of time gives us stomach cramps. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why do men hate shopping? >> >>It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women >>gather. We just want to >>go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who >>wants to spend hours and >>hours to look at things we have no intention >>of killing? err... >>Buying? >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why can't men ever leave the toilet seat >>down? >> >>Have you ever seen one of us pee? The >>proper position of the toilet >>seat is up. Mathematically speaking, the >>proper position of the >>toilet seat is a function of the time spent >>peeing over the time >>spent sitting. The closer that ratio >>approaches one, the truer the >>proposition. Besides, it's actually a >>courtesy that we lift the seat. >>Why would we care if we pee all over the >>seat. You're the ones that >>have to sit on it. You should appreciate >>the fact that we actually >>lift the darn thing. We aim to please. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why do men find blonde bimbos attractive? >> >>Are you kidding? Even leaving the physical >>aside, blonde bimbos are >>generally much easier to get along (alone) >>with. They like having >>fun and doing exciting things. They don't >>walk around with the >>weight of the world on their shoulders. They >>don't ever give us a >>hard time for being a dumb male; and plus >>they laugh at most of our >>jokes (even the ones they don't get ). What >>more could any of us >>males ask for? >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why do men act like they own the remote >>control? >> >>What do you mean act? We do; possession is >>nine tenthsof the law. >>Besides, it is an awesome responsibility not >>to be entrusted to just >>anyone. I believe the only fair way to >>decide who gets the remote >>control is to arm wrestle for it. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why can't men stay on a single channel for >>more than two seconds? >> >>Are you kidding? What if there is something >>good on the next >>channel? We could miss it if we stay on one >>channel for too long. >>(See also: Why do men fear commitment?) >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why do men fear commitment? >> >>Don't be so surprised. Yes; most of us do >>know what 'commitment' >>means and can spell it correctly. It's like >>an automobile. No matter >>how good you think this year's model is, >>they're always coming out >>with newer, faster, better, sleeker, and >>sexier models. We simply >>cannot be expected to purchase the first one >>we see. We must browse >>around a bit and test drive a few. Who wants >>to end up with a lemon? >>At least with a car, there's a slight chance >>of it eventually >>becoming a classic. It simply makes much >>more sense to lease and >>upgrade to the younger... err... I mean >>newer models every couple of >>years. Some of them come with fun extras >>like dual air bags. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>What does it mean when men say, "I'm just >>not ready for a >>relationship right now" or "I don't want a >>girl friend?" >> >>It means that we like you enough to sleep >>with you, but not enough so >>that we want to see you repeatedly. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>What does it mean when men say, "Can we just >>be friends?" >> >>Generally, it means that the recipient of >>said comment is physically >>repulsive enough that no beer goggles may be >>thick enough to provide >>adequate protection. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Do all men really masturbate? >> >>Yes. It is genetically inherited behavior. >>It's been passed on from >>our most primal forefathers, and it'll be >>passed on to our sons. >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why do men generally have greater upper body >>strength? >> >>Several factors are at work, namely >>evolution, heredity, nutrition, >>and environment. (See also: Do all men >>really masturbate?) >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why do men generally have better hand-eye or >>spatial coordinate motor >>coordination? >> >>It is like with all things. Practice... >>Practice...Practice... (See >>also: Do all men really masturbate?) >> >>------------------------------------------------------ >>Why are men so obsessed with beautiful >>women? >> >>As opposed to what? Really ugly women? >>Face it, if men were >>obsessed with ugly women, there would be >>just as much bitching about >>why men are so obsessed with ugly women. No >>matter how you set this >>up, some people are always going to be left >>out. I don't see anyone >>screaming about equal treatment for the >>stupid people either. pdawe