In the name of Allah, the Gracious the Merciful
HOW I CAME TO ISLAM
AFTER STRUGGLING WITH CATHOLICISM SINCE CHILDHOOD AND THEN WITH THE METHODIST AND THE BAPTIST FAITH, I WAS MORE CONFUSED AND FRUSTRATED THAN EVER. THE LAST THING I WANTED OR EVEN THOUGHT OF, WAS EMBRACING ISLAM.........
I MEAN THESE PEOPLE ARE TOO WEIRD FOR ME........RIGHT?
I DID ENJOY SOME THINGS ABOUT CHRISTIANITY. I LOVE TO SING A BEAUTIFUL HYMN, I LOVE THE CHRISTMAS GATHERINGS AND THE EASTER FEASTS. WHAT MORE COULD A PERSON WANT?
IT WAS BY CHANCE (I AM SURE---OR FATE)
THAT I MARRIED A MUSLIM. THE ISSUE OF ME CONVERTING NEVER CAME UP; I WAS ALMOST COMFORTABLE IN MY CHRISTIAN CONFUSION AND FRUSTRATION. THEN SOMETHING HAPPENED. I GAVE BIRTH. I DECIDED CATHOLICISM WOULD BE FINE FOR OUR CHILD, AND MY HUSBAND JUST ASSUMED THAT HE WOULD BE RAISED MUSLIM. THE DISPUTE THAT FOLLOWED WAS NOT PRETTY.
MY CONFUSION AND FRUSTRATION WAS TRANSFORMED TO DISBELIEF, AND A REAL CONCERN FOR MY UNBORN CHILD.
MOST PEOPLE REALIZE THAT BABY MUSLIMS GROW UP TO BE ADULT MUSLIMS--------FRIGHTENING ISN'T IT?
I SET OUT TO PROVE TO MY HUSBAND THAT ISLAM WAS JUST WHAT I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS............
A FINE RELIGION FOR OTHER PEOPLE, BUT DEFINITELY NOT A FINE RELIGION FOR ME OR MY CHILD.
AS THEY SAY, I WAS ON A MISSION. I BOUGHT BOOKS ON ISLAM LIKE THEY WERE GOING OUT OF STYLE (IT'S A GOOD THING I LIKE TO READ).
I STUDIED BOOKS IN THE BIBLE AND SURAHS IN THE QURAN.
I CONVERSED WITH MUSLIMS, CHRISTIANS, HINDUS, UNITARIANS, ATHEISTS, AGNOSTICS, AND HARE KRISHNAS .........(WELL, MAYBE NOT HARE KRISHNAS).
TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT (BECAUSE I COULD GO ON FOR DAYS), MY MISSION FAILED. THE BOOKS I READ MADE SENSE,
AND THE QURAN I STUDIED WAS PRACTICAL. THERE WAS ONLY TWO OBSTACLES NOW. HOW DO I BREAK THE NEWS TO MY CATHOLIC MOTHER,
MY BAPTIST SISTER, AND MY PROTESTENT BROTHER, THAT I AM RAISING MY SON MUSLIM; AND SECONDLY, WHEN DO I CONVERT TO ISLAM?
SLOWLY BUT SURELY I TOLD MY FAMILY MEMBERS THAT WE HAD CHOSEN ISLAM AS THE RELIGION FOR OUR CHILD.
THEY DIDN'T SAY MUCH (SILENCE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS). I THINK I WOULD HAVE RATHER BEEN VERBALLY ABUSED
THAN LISTEN TO THE UTTER STILLNESS. MY MOTHER IS SATISFIED WITH OUR CHOICE, AND SHE WAS MY MAIN CONCERN.
AS FOR THE SIBLINGS......THEY WOULD HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT (O! THE STORIES I COULD TELL YOU, OR BORE YOU WITH).
AS FOR MY CONVERSION, I WAS COMFORTABLE AND CONTENT WITH ISLAM IN MY HEART. WHY DOES ANYONE HAVE TO KNOW?
RELIGION IS PERSONAL AND PRIVATE, NOT TO MENTION STRESSFUL AND DISQUIETING WHEN YOU CANNOT TELL OTHERS HOW YOU FEEL.
OTHERS, MEANING A MUCH-LOVED SISTER. IT WOULD HAVE LITERALLY BROKEN HER HEART TO KNOW THAT I WAS LEAVING MY CHRISTIAN HERITAGE.
I AM A LOT OF THINGS, BUT A HEARTBREAKER IS NOT ONE OF THEM.
I HOPE THAT SHE KNEW HOW MUCH I LOVED HER BEFORE SHE WAS TAKEN AWAY IN A FATAL CAR ACCIDENT. TWO MONTHS LATER, I TOOK MY SHAHADA.
THAT WAS ALMOST 3 AND 1/2 YEARS AGO.
DON'T FALL ASLEEP YET.....I'M ALMOST DONE. I STILL READS BOOKS ON ISLAM; I EVEN BUY THEM FOR GIFTS AND GIVE THEM TO MY FAMILY.
I CARRY A POCKET-SIZE QURAN IN MY PURSE. MOST OF ALL, I PRAY THAT MY CONVERSION HAS BEEN A POSITIVE EXPERIENCE FOR MY FAMILY, FRIENDS,
AND ASSOCIATES WHO KNOW LITTLE ABOUT ISLAM.
IT IS IMPORTANT FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND THAT IN MY LIFETIME, THE CHOICE I MADE WILL ALWAYS CAUSE SOME STRESS AND ANXIETY.
AS FOR MY CHILD, AND THEN HIS CHILDREN.......ONLY ALLAH KNOWS. BUT I HAVE A FEELING ISLAM WILL BE CLOSER TO BEING PRACTICED,
PRAISED, AND RESPECTED............AS IT SHOULD BE.
SISTER DENISE
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