I walked the rest of the way to his cabin, but I stopped when I got to the front porch. I smoothed my skirt, took a deep breath, and walked up the steps. Before I could knock on the door, Margaret had opened it.
"Well, if it isn't Miss Pollyanna," she said. She wore the lavender silk dress that I had once worn. Seeing her in it stunned me, and I stood staring at her in spite of myself. Her eyes narrowed, and she pressed her lips together tightly.
"Happy birthday, Mrs. MacNeil." I said and extended the presents for her to take. She didn't take them; in fact, she crossed her arms and waited as if to see how long I would hold them there.
Finally she said, "You can take those back to Alice. They are not welcome here."
I was taken aback by her remark. And why had she called her own mother, Alice.
"Oh, Miss Pollyanna, you mustn't look so confused--didn't Alice tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"Well, she disowned me as her daughter. I no longer have a mother, and I surely won't accept packages from a stranger. Good day." She closed the door in my face.
I stood there quietly looking at the door. Something inside me snapped. I became furious. How could she be so unkind? How could she be Miss Alice's daughter? How could Neil have married her? How could she be the same person that marched across a schoolyard to help a lonely little girl? I don't know what came over me, but I opened the door to the cabin and walked inside, uninvited. She looked at me with surprise.
"These presents are for you, like it or not, you are keeping them." I practically threw the presents on Neil's dining table.
Margaret's features softened slightly. "You are more tenacious than I thought." She lit a cigarette and sucked on it until the end glowed red. She inhaled deeply and then coughed.
I stared at her as she smoked. She had the prettiest eyes I had ever seen, somehow they reminded me of someone; I couldn't discern whom, but it was not Miss Alice. Even though she was very thin--from her illness I supposed--she had a loveliness about her.
"My you're serious. I suppose you have more right to hate me than anyone--you being in love with Neil and all."
"I don't hate you, and Neil and I are just friends." I said.
"Just friends, eh?" A smirk blossomed on her lips. "If you and Neil are just friends, then why aren't you marrying the preacher?" She blew smoke from her nose. "You were wrong you know--Neil isn't worth fighting for."
"I understand that you've been through a lot of pain and hurt; you've been through so much. Would you like to talk about it?"
"What would you know about pain?" As she said it, her eyes were wild, and I thought I saw tears begin to fill them. The door opened, and Neil walked into the cabin. His hair hung unmanaged about his face, and he looked somber. I watched him study Margaret.
"Margaret," he said. "You can't smoke, I already told you that. It's not good for your lungs," he walked over and took the still smoking cigarette from her hand and stamped it on the table. Neil had used his professional voice, and I watched as Margaret's pretty eyes searched his face for something besides the physician. I could tell that she had been disappointed, for her eyes shifted and bent.
Suddenly, I felt awkward standing there. I pulled at my locket nervously. Now they were both staring at me as if I were something to marvel over. I floundered over what to say. "Dr. MacNeil," I stated formally, trying to think of something legitimate to say. "Can---can I persuade you to come to the school sometime next week to give a lecture to the children. I think they could benefit from some first aid instruction."
He rubbed his fingers across his chin, "Yes, I can work that in--is Thursday soon enough?"
"Oh yes, Thursday would be just fine, " I said. Then the awkward silence returned. The air stifled me. Neil's glazed eyes made it impossible to read his thoughts. I wanted so much to talk to him, but that was impossible now. "Well, I hope that you have a happy birthday, Mrs. Mac Neil," I stammered. "If I can do anything for you, please call on me. I should go now, I promised Ruby Mae we would pick flowers." I turned and without another word went out the door.
On the way home, I ran into Dan Scott. He was also walking toward the mission.
"Christy, how have you been? It seems like so long since I have seen you."
"I know," I said and felt a little ashamed that I had not gone to help him restore his cabin from the fire. "With all this rain, I have scarcely done anything, but work."
"I know the passed few weeks have been hard on you."
Dan was such a sensitive man. He had been the only one who noticed how hard it was for me to give up Iris to Opal; that day, he had expressed his sympathy in a way that touched my heart. His observant eyes truly belonged to a doctor. I smiled at him.
"Yes, it has not been a good month." I admitted. "But, like the rain, there will be good that comes out of it all. I am confident of it."
"You sound just like Miss Alice," he laughed. I smiled at the complement.
When we neared the mission house, I noticed that Miss Alice stood in the yard waiting for me. She met us on the path and asked only with her expression "What had happened?"
I did not have to answer her, for my countenance must have conveyed what she needed to know. "I want to thank thee for going, Christy." She touched my face lightly and then walked away.
"What was that about?" Dan asked after she had gone.
"I went to see Margaret this morning."
"Oh, I see." He looked thoughtful for a moment and then said, "Margaret is a puzzle."
"Do you visit with her often?" I asked. I couldn't help my curiosity.
"Well, I work with Dr. MacNeil everyday now, so yes, I suppose I do see her quite often. We don't get an opportunity to talk much. Dr. MacNeil and I are out on rounds early in the morning, and we do not return until late. I think he's avoiding being with Margaret. He never used to stay away all day."
I wondered what Margaret did all alone during the day. Suddenly I felt very sorry for her; she had pushed everyone that loved her away, and now she was alone. I thought of her friend, Caroline, who had sat alone in a corner eating her sandwich. Margaret was not unlike her now--except now the bully was Margaret's own pride. I remembered her saying, on the afternoon that I had first met her, that she could not stand being alone in that cabin. Her words fluttered back to me: I could even recall the sound of her voice. "Talk to me after you've spent a winter or two snowed in--" she had said. "Never able to go anywhere, surrounded by strangers who you have nothing in common with. Neil was gone for weeks sometimes. No way of knowing if he was lying dead somewhere. Days without anyone to talk to. Maybe if there had been someone like you." Something struck me--maybe I was the one who was supposed to cross the schoolyard to help Margaret.
*******
Sunday night I lay in bed thinking of Dr. MacNeil. I cried a little when I thought to myself that I would never have the kind of love that I longed for from him, but I knew that these thoughts were vain and selfish and not what God wanted. I prayed with my eyes closed as I lay under the thick quilt that Fairlight had given me. Somehow all my thoughts led back to Margaret-- I wanted to help reconcile Margaret, Miss Alice and Dr. MacNeil--as soon as I had this thought, I knew that it was God's own words. I could not explain it, but I just knew that they were. If I could get them to reconcile, the three of them could find happiness. But how? I fell asleep praying and asking for guidance.
On Monday, when I woke, I felt so refreshed, and I was convinced that it was because I had discovered one of God's plans. I decided that if I could get Margaret to be happy with herself, that the rest would fall into place.