The train-ride seemed never ending. I paced up and down the isles, walked outside between the train cars, sat down, only to get up again, and repeat the routine. Outside the night sky was full of stars. Sitting was unbearable; even though David and Miss Alice pleaded with me to sit and rest; I just couldn't do it. Somehow, I felt that I could will the train to go faster, and by walking, I felt that I was doing something to speed things along. All the time I paced, I prayed. "Please dear God let Father, George, and Sam Houston be okay. Please dear God, I can not live without them. Please dear God, please dear God, please dear God…." I repeated it over and over until the rhythm of my prayers matched the rhythm of the train.
Other passengers spoke of politics and gossiped among themselves, and I could not bring myself to understand how the world could still be going on normally. Why had it not stopped?
"Christy, thee has been pacing back and forth for four hours." Miss Alice said as she joined me outside. "Please come and sit down, thee will wear thyself out." She touched my shoulder gently. "Thee will need all thy strength when thee gets to the hospital."
"I can't, Miss Alice. I just can't." She nodded knowingly, patted my shoulder, and left me standing under the stars.
When I came back inside, I heard the conductor say. "As you know this train does not go through to Asheville at this time. A trellis collapsed a few days ago and there has been no time to fix it." My heart skipped. "This next stop will be the last one tonight, so if you intend to travel on, you will have to find other means to get you to the Asheville train station."
By the time we had de-boarded and rented horses, the first hints of dawn were in the sky. David and Miss Alice ate some jelly sandwiches that Miss Alice had made before we had left Cutter Gap. I just could not bring myself to eat any; my stomach felt raw. On the way out of town, the dark sky began to lighten and the landscape unfolded before us. I would normally have called it a beautiful day.
In the fresh morning light, we came upon the collapsed trellis. Half of the train lay at the bottom of a holler and half still on the track above, one car just hung over the edge. As soon as I saw it, I rolled off of my horse and vomited.
Miss Alice poured me a drink of water from her canteen and draped a saturated handkerchief on the back of my neck. She didn't say anything, but I could feel her sympathy with the touch of her hand. When I had regained myself, David helped me back on my horse. His eyes studied mine; "Do you want to ride with me, Christy?" He asked.
I shook my head. "I'll be fine."
At midmorning, we finally reached the hospital. A nurse informed us that father and George were on the third floor. When we came up the last step, I saw Uncle John standing in the hallway. I ran to him, and he caught me in his arms.
"Oh, Christy, thank God you've come." He sounded so relieved. Uncle John was not actually my uncle; he was my father's best friend. "I am afraid that there has been no change in their condition."
"Where is Mother?" I asked.
"She is at the funeral home. We are going to have to discuss when and where the services will be." I tried to push this thought from my mind. It was just too much for me to think about.
I turned around and held my hand out to David and Miss Alice. "Miss Alice, David, this is my Uncle, John Burton---John, this is Miss Alice Henderson and Rev. David Grantland."
Everyone shook hands. Then I asked John, "Can I see them?"
"Of course. Follow me."
I turned to David and Alice, who stood behind me. "Would one of you try to telephone the mission to check on Sam Houston?"
"Thee has read my mind, Miss Huddleston." Miss Alice said.
I followed Uncle John into the large hospital room. The walls were stark white, and the beds were mere cots lined in a two rows with an isle down the center. A person filled each cot; some were groaning and some were silent. "Your father and George are at that end there." Uncle John said and pointed to the row along the far wall. "Christy, I will leave you with them. I am afraid that I am going to have to go home and get some sleep."
"Of course, John, you have already done so much, thank you."
He smiled sadly at me. "I'll be back to check on you in the morning." Then he left me.
I walked down the long row of beds. Their cots were next to a bright sunny window. When I looked down at my father, I realized that I was not prepared for what I saw. He lay barley breathing. His breath came irregularly and sounded raspy. His face had swelled so much that his eyes were only slits. Half of his face was a deep purple. I almost didn't recognize him. "Oh Daddy?" I knelt beside his bed and held his hand. I could feel my chin trembling "Can you hear me, Daddy? It's me; it's Christy. Oh Daddy, please hear me, please."
With my face pressed against his hand, I sobbed. Thoughts crowded my mind. I remembered when he taught me to ride a horse; he showed me how to ride astride and said that I was as brave as any boy. I remembered when I was sick he used to bring me ice cream by the quart and feed it to me one spoonful at a time. He taught me to dance by letting me stand on his toes; he had a way of winking at me that made me feel like I was the prettiest girl in the world. I remembered he took me to the school dance because no boy had asked me to go. Even though I was too big, we danced together with my feet on his toes.
Finally, I got to my feet and stepped over to George's bed. I gasped when I saw that the sheet fell flat just passed his left knee.
They had amputated. It was real now.
"George, It's me, Christy. I've missed you Georgie, please wake up. I want to talk to you."
Miss Alice and David stood behind me; I would not have noticed them, if I had not heard David praying quietly. His voice sounded like a lullaby. "Dear heavenly Father, please be with the Huddleston's and see them to a quick recovery. Be with Christy during this time of despair, give her the strength to see her family through such devastation. Amen." When he had finished, I turned toward them. "Sam Houston?" I asked.
"There was no answer at the mission house." Miss Alice said.
I stayed all day kneeling between the two cots, praying. Miss Alice sat on an unoccupied bed across from us and read from the Bible. David went back and forth from the phone to our hospital room. Each time he came back and said, "Still no answer." At late afternoon, he went to get some food and drinks for us. I still could not eat anything. "Christy you haven't had anything to eat since yesterday--you have to eat," David said.
"David is right, Christy, thee will need thy strength."
"I just can't." They both gave me a look of authority, and so I dutifully took two bites of the ham sandwich that David brought. As I swallowed I felt sick.
A nurse brought three chairs for us. She wore all white. "There are beds down stairs for you to sleep on; you are welcome to go down and get some rest. We will let you know if there are any changes." She had a sweet face, kind eyes, and--amongst all the misery--she seemed so clean and fresh.
When darkness fell, I turned to Miss Alice and David. "Please go and get some sleep downstairs," I told them. "I am going to stay here with them."
"Christy, you need rest too, they will come get you if..."
"No," I said. "I couldn't bare it if I were not here when they woke up."
"Then I will stay too." David said.
"No, I really don't want to have to worry about you too. Please go get some sleep. I know that you are both exhausted. Please." I begged.
"Christy, David and I will take shifts sitting with thee." Miss Alice said. "David, I will take the first shift. You go and get some rest and come back in a few hours." David nodded. He walked over and kissed my forehead tenderly. "I will see you later." His eyes looked soft and tired. I smiled at him.
The night stretched on, and the moans of pain that came from the patients in the other cots were part of the horrible music that filled the darkness. I had only one candle burning on the table between Father and George. It made a small yellow halo around us, and the shadows were dark and deep. I wondered if the other people in the room had been in the train accident.
I was in a dream-like state when I heard a gasp escape from my father's lips. I quickly got up form my chair and knelt beside him. "Daddy, Daddy, can you hear me?"
"Christy, is that you Girlie?" He said it so faintly that it was almost as if he had not spoken at all.
"Yes, Daddy, it's me."
"Oh, Christy, my brave, brave girl," he squeezed my hand meekly. "You will always be my little miss, my girlie. I love you so much."
"I love you Daddy. I love you." I kissed him. "Mother's gone, Daddy. She's gone." I cried desperately. I noticed that his breathing slowed. "Don't you leave me too Daddy, don't leave me here all alone. I need you!"
"Christy, my Christy. You have always had enough strength to do anything you set your mind to. You have more strength than you know. You will have to be brave now, darling. I know you can do it."
"But Georgie, Daddy, he needs you." I paused then said. "Look Daddy--look it's dawn outside remember--the world's renews itself at dawn."
"I see it;" he whispered though he was not looking at the window. "The world does renew itself. Christy-" he called my name with more force than before. "You will have to take care of our George. I am afraid I must…."
He died with his eyes open.
I stayed beside him as the sun started to flood in the window beside us. My candle was only a nub, and the flame that had lasted through the night flickered lamely upon its wick. David lay on the unoccupied cot behind me. His long legs dangled over the end of the bed. I stayed kneeling until the doctor came mid-morning. Alice was with him. I did not let go of Daddy's hand until the doctor said, "I'm afraid he is gone."
Somehow, I didn't cry. I felt numb. Miss Alice hugged me. "Oh Christy, I know exactly how thee feels, I remember when my own father passed away. I hated God, I blamed him for my father's death, but Christy, don't shut God out; thee needs him now more than ever before." As usual, Miss Alice had read my thoughts.
"Christy, I am so sorry. I fell asleep, and I wasn't here for you."
I tried to smile, but I did not seem to have the energy to make it look genuine. "That's okay, David. There was nothing you could have done." David said a prayer aloud, and the three of us stood in a circle over my father.
"I need to be alone for awhile," I told them.
They both said that they understood. I walked in a trance up the hospital stairs. I had remembered when my grandmother Rudd passed away; my mother had taken me to the top of the building and sat there for over an hour. I instinctively walked there; almost without thinking, and sat on the same wooden bench that we had sat on together so many years ago. Nothing can describe the loneliness that I felt.
I do not know how long I sat there. Time meant nothing. The sky was a deep blue, and the sun shone brightly.
"Alice tells me that you haven't eaten since Thursday morning." A voice called to me; it was unmistakably Scottish. I looked up to find Neil standing by the building entrance. He had his hands behind his back and a clever smile on his face.