Colleen stared excitedly out the train window. She had been looking forward to this moment for two years. The day when she would return home..... for good. And now she was returning with Andrew, her husband of two years. They would celebrate their two year anniversary in a few months. She was ecstatic.
"Nervous?" Andrew asked quietly.
Dr. Colleen Cook turned to her husband, Dr. Andrew Cook. She was well aware that he was aching for children and they finally felt the liberty to 'try' with all they had. She was anxious to have children, too. Colleen shrugged in answer to his question. "I grew up here, Andrew."
"Sure," Andrew agreed. "But we both know how they are about outsiders."
"I'm not an outsider," Colleen mumbled. "But I know what you mean."
Andrew leaned over and kissed her temple. "Don't worry about it, Colleen," he said. "How can't they love you? You're Colleen."
"Colleen Cook," Colleen said with a smile, realizing her last name also set her apart some.
"My Colleen Cook," Andrew agreed, kissing her mouth gently.
"Don't get too possessive in public," Colleen teased, making him reach over and lightly tickle her so she laughed. "I haven't told you I love you yet today, have I?"
"You still haven't," Andrew bantered.
"Mmm, I love you," Colleen said, kissing him.
"I love you more," he said.
Colleen grinned, recognizing their ongoing argument. "I love you more," she said, emphasizing the word 'you.'
They went back and forth like this for a few minutes, playful kisses between words, before the conductor shouted the next stop was Colorado Springs. Colleen tore her eyes from her husband's and looked up at the conductor. He did not know what he was doing when he announced that. He was announcing how close she was to home.
"Everything will be fine," Andrew said. "You're a doctor. They respect people with high education."
"And I'm a woman," Colleen muttered. "Besides," she said in a more normal tone, "I'm already married. They don't like the idea of married women working, you know that."
"They do fine with your mother," Andrew reminded.
"She didn't come married," Colleen said.
"She didn't grow up there, either," Andrew said. He smiled slightly. "Would you relax? It's Colorado Springs, love, not London. It isn't like you don't know this place."
"What if I don't?" Colleen asked. "I'm coming back a completely different person and I know this place has changed, too."
Andrew chuckled. "Don't worry," he said.
"You're right, you're right," Colleen said with a small sigh. She paused. "But I can't help it, Andrew."
Andrew let out a breath and turned to her. "You're wearisome," he said teasingly. "Relax, love, relax. They're going to be thinking how beautiful you are, how grown up, and how incredibly lucky I am to be married to the most wonderful, most breath taking woman in the world." He enunciated his words with a kiss.
Colleen smiled. "Patronizer."
"Lover," he whispered, nuzzling her neck. "What do you say we start working on that baby?"
Colleen muffled her giggle. Teasing conversations like this made their marriage a sweet one. Andrew always knew how to cheer her up, or let her be sad. They were always there for each other. It was something Colleen had always loved about their relationship.
"Not in my parents' house," Colleen said, grinning.
Andrew grinned. "Aw, shucks," he teased, speaking like a schoolboy purposely since he knew it amused his wife.
"You're awful," Colleen said, still restraining her laugh. "And you're crazy."
"Crazy for you," said Andrew. "Original line, isn't it?"
Colleen shortly laughed. "It's our stop."
Glancing out the window, Colleen immediately saw her family. There was four year old Katie, sixteen year old Brian, six month pregnant Michaela, and twenty-six year old Matthew. Colleen inwardly sighed when she realized her father was not there and wondered what trouble he had gotten himself into. He had managed to pull a few strings and get his Indian agent job back but he still was on the edge. The things he put himself and his family through for the Cheyenne.... Colleen was not looking forward to whatever plan he might concoct. He, somehow, always managed to get out of the trouble but not before putting everyone through hell. It had brought Andrew and Colleen closer, she had to credit him, but he certainly had not done that on purpose.
"Sully isn't here," Andrew said quietly.
"I noticed," Colleen said with a worried tone.
Andrew put a light hand on the small of her back as they exited the back of the train. Colleen forgot her worries temporarily as her family called out their excited greetings and she ran forward. Andrew watched her greet her family with hugs. They had seen them a month ago for graduation ceremonies but Colleen always missed them. They had been finishing up business in Philadelphia then went and spent time with their families in Boston. Andrew studied his slim, beautiful wife and wished more than anything that his parents could meet her. He was certain even they would have loved her.
"Andrew," Michaela greeted, breaching the professional boundary to hug her son-in-law. She was smiling, delighted to have her daughter back. Katie was still too small to be much of a daughter. Colleen, however, had always reminded her so much of herself. She had sense, though, something Michaela lacked often when she charged headfirst into a stupid situation. Michaela envied her daughter's small waist and smiled to herself to think how quickly her daughter would probably become pregnant now that she was out of school for good.
"I'm so glad they let you work your internship with me," Michaela was saying to Colleen, herding her off.
Andrew watched for a minute before turning back to her handsome brothers. "Where's Sully?" he asked as they headed for the luggage. Most of their luggage had come the day before on a separate train. Their furniture from their townhouse and all their little trinkets. Matthew, Sully, Brian, and a few others had been building a house for the Cooks much like Sully's. Andrew was looking forward to when it would be done in a few weeks. In the meantime, they would live with Michaela, Sully, Katie, and Brian.
"Who knows?" Brian asked. Andrew caught the slight resentment in his voice and felt sorry for him. Brian was having a hard relationship with the man he wanted to adopt him. Sully disappeared often, never telling anyone and making them all worry. It was getting to Brian finally after several years of it.
"We haven't seen him in about a week," Matthew explained, more detached. "We got a telegram from Montana, though, from him. He helped an Indian get up there."
"He said he was heading to Kansas," Brian added, less harshness in his voice. "Kansas," he repeated in repulsion.
"I take it he's done this a lot lately," Andrew said, half asking.
"Some," Matthew allowed. Sully was like a surrogate father, an older brother really, and he was ready to defend him. He knew what it was like to sacrifice for something he was passionate about, something he felt that was worthwhile. He had given up his family for a while when he decided to continue law. Michaela had been furious. But law fascinated him and he wanted to help put men and women who harmed others, innocent people, in jail. The whole 'justice for all' deal. Matthew sometimes wondered if he was a sucker because he believed in the system but then realized that the system would only work effectively when people stopped taking law into their own hands. Matthew also realized that, eventually, they were going to have to start prosecuting those who reaped their own revenge.
Matthew had great vision.
"He needs to travel," Matthew said. "The tribes continue moving and he follows up on them all. He wants to show the government he's going to do his job correctly."
"And he's doing a great job, apparently," Brian said drily. "They've given him a bunch of promotions and raises."
"Good for him," Andrew said cautiously, hearing the boy's spite. He could hardly believe how big Brian was. He never got over how children grew up so quickly. He met Brian when he was twelve, voice squeaking and uneven weight. Now he was building into a strong young man like Sully and Matthew.
Going to the homestead, Colleen saw how it had slowly expanded over the course of two years. There were extra rooms, the barn was larger, the corral out front had been expanded. Sully was making room for a family. Colleen and Andrew were moving in temporarily but they were only going to be in her old room and they were only planning to be there a month. Colleen wondered about that until she figured Sully just wanted to do something nice for Michaela. Her parents were deeply in love. They always wanted to please each other. Colleen was enchanted by their relationship and was delighted her marriage to Andrew had, so far, turned out so well. They fought, of course, but always solved it. Andrew respected her, as Sully respected Michaela, and that was the key. They were not doormats but they respected their wives.
Colleen thanked God for a countless time for such a wonderful, loving, caring family. She hoped her family with Andrew turned out so well and could only hope for the best. And pray.
Colleen could only hope for the best as she walked into her mother's clinic the next morning. Andrew had gone out on an instant call, Michaela being too worn from her pregnancy to do it. Colleen was going to assist for the first day of being a doctor. She was interning for her mother for six months.
I feel like it's my first day of school, Colleen thought ruefully. Truth be known, Colleen was terrified. How would they react? Would she feel isolated? And she had not had Andrew to lean on. He had left minutes after they arrived for a premature childbirth. He had said Colleen should stay, get rest, and Colleen agreed. Andrew had not returned but those kinds of things were rarely solved overnight.
"Colleen!" Dorothy greeted, coming over quickly. Colleen smiled to see her mother's best friend, next to Sully.
"Dorothy," Colleen returned, briefly hugging her. "How are you?"
"I'm gettin' along," Dorothy said. "Newspaper's kinda slow since Cloud Dancin' and I married but, ya know." Colleen nodded as the older woman sighed. Colleen was surprised that Dorothy had not been completely shunned for her long-time relationship with the Cheyenne Indian.
"I'm sorry I couldn't come to the wedding," Colleen said. She was surprised with herself when she realized she no longer cut off the last sounds of the word, as Dorothy did. Colleen had done that all her life. Living in high society had made her conscious of her speech and Colleen had worked at changing the way she spoke. Apparently, she had been successful. "I was busy with school."
"Oh, no, it's fine," Dorothy brushed it off. "It was a small affair."
"But a big deal," Colleen said. "Anyway, I'm sorry. Andrew and I both are."
"Both of you doctors," Dorothy marveled. "It's fascinatin'. Hope you don't mind but I'm preparin' a story 'bout you and Andrew." Colleen's eyebrows raised. "You're the first doctor, and certainly the first lady doctor, to come from Colorado Springs."
Colleen smiled. "That sounds great, Dorothy, thank you. If I can help you at all, or Andrew, let us know."
"How's it goin' with Andrew, by the way?" Dorothy asked. "Ya'll were so happy on your weddin' day. I know Michaela was concerned about how the marriage come about so quickly but I thought you were happy."
"It's great," Colleen said, thinking of her priceless marriage. "It really is. I'm delighted that I had Andrew in Philadelphia. Truth is, I don't know what I would've done without him. How's Cloud Dancing?"
"Oh, he's fine," Dorothy said, a twinkle in her eyes and life in her voice that did not escape Colleen's notice. Colleen felt more equal with the woman now, both of them being married and adults. "He's off with Sully somewhere."
"This whole thing is great," Colleen said. "With you and Cloud Dancing. You beat all odds."
"Love does some crazy things," Dorothy said with a sigh.
Colleen smiled. "That it does," Colleen agreed. "I haven't seen so much life in you since I met you years ago as I do when you talk about him."
Dorothy blushed and it was endearing. "Oh, pooh," Dorothy said, making Colleen grin to herself. "What's it like bein' a doctor? That's excitin' stuff, Colleen. Dr. Colleen Cook."
The said smiled again. The smile seemed to be genuinely pasted on her dark lips. "I haven't yet practiced as a doctor," Colleen said. "So I'm kinda nervous about all this."
"Ain't nothin'," Dorothy said. "Why, people'll be linin' up just to see the woman who once was a little girl running around with ripped stockin's and wild braids. To see she's now the beautiful young lady married to a fine Boston doctor and a doctor herself!"
Colleen lightly tinted crimson. "You make it sound so extravagant."
"Oh, it is," Dorothy said. "I'm writin' all that in my article. Brian's helpin' me with it. How's it sound?"
"Sounds like you're being generous," Colleen said.
"Well, why don't we go in and ask Michaela?" Dorothy suggested. "See what she thinks. And let you start your first day."
Colleen knew she had no choice so she nodded and let Dorothy hook her arm through hers and lead her in. Colleen looked around the clinic. It had been expanded due to growth in the community but, basically, the front room was still the same. They had another operating room now but the front room could be used in emergencies. Colleen closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. It still smelled faintly of the disinfectant Michaela always used. It was comforting, in a sense, to smell something so familiar. Colleen knew that smell by heart and always would.
"Same as always," Michaela said with a smile. "You haven't been here in six months but it hasn't changed."
Colleen smiled. "I'm just kinda fearful of this day."
"You don't have enough confidence in yourself," Dorothy said. "You've done wonders, Colleen, that ain't no other woman from Colorado Springs ever done before. The only thing to be nervous about is how you're goin' to first ask for a payment."
Colleen grinned. Maybe this first day would not be so bad after all.
"It was a disaster!" Colleen complained to her husband that night in their room. Andrew had been out all day and then he came back to hear his wife had already gone to bed. So he politely had said his due farewells then took the stairs two at a time to go see her. He found her in a bad state and sympathized with her.
"What could be so bad?" Andrew asked. "You've been practicing medicine since long before you even met me."
"I met you four years ago," Colleen said, a small smile coming to her lips, which had been his intent. Andrew grinned. "OK, OK, but it was still horrible. A complete disaster."
"What happened?" Andrew asked curiously.
"First, Dr. Mike is paranoid about me practicing," Colleen said. "She's more nervous now that I have a degree than she was before."
"You're doing more serious things now than you were before," Andrew pointed out.
"Stop being right and let me rant and rave," Colleen said, making him chuckle as he sat on the edge of their bed. Colleen had hardly kissed him when he came in so he had immediately known something was disturbing her. She always kissed him well when they first came together after being apart for a while.
"Sure," Andrew said, amused.
"Mrs. Perkins comes in," Colleen said, beginning her short tale. "I haven't seen her in two years. First thing she says is, 'Oh, honey, have you gained weight? You're filling in so nicely. And so young, too. Why, when I was her age, I met Jacob.' Jacob's her late husband. She was fifteen when she met her husband. And she's still thinking--"
"You're overreacting, love," Andrew said, attempting to hide his amusement. In his opinion, he was doing a lousy job but Colleen was so distressed that she did not notice.
"It doesn't end there," Colleen said, making Andrew cough so he would have an excuse to hide his smile. Colleen was usually so calm, so demure. She was full of life, even if she was exasperated. "Loren Bray walks in. He steps back and asks if it's me, completely mortifying me until I realize he's pulled another trick. I would've seen it a mile away before I left."
"You're not used to him yet," Andrew said. "Granted, it's going to take a little while to readjust, Colleen, we already talked about that."
"But Loren Bray?" she asked. "I didn't catch one of his jokes in time to not be mortified. Brian comes up just in time to hear it and laughs because I didn't get it at first. One little comment, Andrew!"
Andrew did not bother to hide his chuckle as he pulled his wife in his lap. "You know what I think?" Andrew asked quietly, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I think that I'm in love with this woman. This beautiful woman who happens to be a little disorientated at the moment. I married her two years ago, you know. She's nervous about being accepted back into the community she grew up in since before she can remember. Just like she was scared of being accepted in college and medical school, both places she had never been before. And you know what happened? She had more friends than she had time for and did extremely well in everything she did."
"Except her marriage," Colleen teased, making Andrew tickle her. Colleen laughed, a welcome sound to Andrew. She begged for mercy and he let her go until she pounced on him, turning the tickling on him. Colleen smiled down at him.
"There's that beautiful smile I've been missing," said Andrew, gazing up at her. He touched the corner of her lips.
"You know what?" asked Colleen softly, the firelight playing off his dusty brown hair.
"What?" Andrew asked, just as quietly.
"That girl," Colleen said, continuing the game.
"What about her?" Andrew asked, practically whispering.
"The greatest accomplishment to date is her marriage," Colleen said. "She told me so."
"Did she?" he asked playfully.
"We're very close," Colleen replied. "As close as you can get. She said she's married to the most wonderful man in the world. Who's understanding, compassionate, sweet, gentle, and kind. And incredibly handsome." Andrew gave her a boyish grin she loved. "And she says she's madly in love."
"Madly, huh?"
Colleen sighed and stepped into the clinic the next day, following her mother inside. It always seemed to be like this. Following her mother. Colleen was somewhat disgruntled about the whole internship deal. But she would rather be in Colorado Springs than in some other place where she knew absolutely no one, not even the town doctor.
Colleen saw patients all day. But Michaela was hovering over her shoulder. Colleen showed Mrs. Prescott out then turned to her mother. "Ma," she said simply.
"Yes, Colleen?" Michaela asked, turning to her desk and sitting with some difficulty. she had to rearrange herself around her stomach. Michaela had been afraid to get pregnant due to her miscarriage but Sully had helped her through it. Of course.
"Ma, you've been worse than a mother hen today," Colleen said bluntly, making Dr. Mike look up at her. "I'm capable, Ma. I can do this. It's simple checkups."
Michaela studied her daughter before sighing. "Here I was thinking I had backed off," Michaela said.
Colleen smiled. "I know it's your job," Colleen told her. "But I'm your daughter and you know me. There's no reason for you to hover over my shoulder every second. I know the drills."
Michaela looked in her daughter's deep eyes. She smiled gently. "Sorry," Michaela said with a slightly amused tone. "Hungry?"
"Famished," Colleen agreed, a smile pulling on her dark lips.
"Great," Michaela said. "Let's get lunch."
Colleen rested her head on Andrew's arm, holding his hand as they lay in bed together a week later. Colleen had been doing well. No serious disasters had come up and Michaela had backed off. Colleen was resting. She did not want to sleep yet but she was comfortable just laying in her husband's arms.
Colleen felt his soft, even breath lightly touch her neck. He was cuddled up next to her, as they had every night since they were married. Andrew had given up so much for her. For her education. For her dream. Colleen and Andrew both knew that she probably would have married him whether he left the clinic or not. Eventually, she would have. But Andrew had not wanted to lose her. He had not wanted to imagine such a beautiful young woman in a big city with rich, eligible young men.
His rhythmic breathing told Colleen he was sleeping. He had been for some time. Colleen nestled closer to him and closed her eyes, not intending to sleep but simply to rest. It was wonderful to be held like this, in Andrew's protective arms with his soft breath on her neck, his chest pressing against her back with every intake of breath. Colleen reveled in the feeling. It warmed her body still to feel him so close to her. Colleen could hardly believe she had ever doubted Andrew was the one.
Patrick Collins. A sore spot still. In an odd way, the Cooks had come to realize they partially owed Patrick Collins. Had he not made his move then, Andrew would never have gotten the nerve to tell Colleen how he felt that year. And Colleen left in July, not to return until Christmas for only a week. Andrew had spent two years with her three hours away. Having her across the country for just as long terrified him. He knew he could never have asked her to marry him the day or the day after he confessed love, which would have been what he would have done.
Had Patrick Collins not come along.
Colleen was still a little sore over her mother's meddling tactics but had long ago realized it was part of who Michaela was. Nevertheless, it was still very annoying. At least she had not interfered in Colleen and Andrew's marriage. Yet. Colleen smiled as she realized what dubiety she was inflicting in her mother's character.
Colleen listened to the fire crackling to their backs. It was dying down now, she could tell. It was getting darker in their room. Colleen loved sharing her old room with Andrew. It brought back such wonderful memories and Andrew was a constant reminder of the beautiful parts of her life now. Colleen had never been happier. She had a husband. A college and medical degree. She had a functional, happy, growing family with wonderful parents, two brothers, a sister, and another child on the way.
The only thing missing was her own family. Colleen shifted Andrew's arm tighter around her midsection and fidgeted with the wedding band on his left hand, the arm she rested on. Colleen knew how much he wanted a child. Colleen could feel her own arms aching. Colleen knew he would be a wonderful father. He was dedicated, loving, compassionate, and so very ready to start a family with Colleen. Colleen had doubts about herself, though. She was twenty-one. What could she know? Andrew was five years older. He was more ready than her.
Colleen pushed the thought out of her mind with asperity. Colleen had never much relied on God but she decided to have faith in His timing. Surely He knew how much a family meant to them both. But Colleen wanted to start a family when the time was right. She wondered how they would know that.
Colleen had nearly drifted to sleep when a sound startled her. Colleen's eyes popped wide open and she saw something flash by her window. She started. They were on the second floor. Who could be up there?
Later, Colleen would realize she should have awakened Andrew, or at least stayed in bed. But Colleen's curiosity got the better of her. Colleen crept over to the window when she heard her name whispered. She turned and saw a face in the window. Colleen jumped back a step until he repeated her name.
"Colleen, Colleen, it's me," Sully hissed.
Colleen calmed her rapidly beating heart and walked over to the window. She opened it and helped him in. "Did you forget we have a front and back door for this purpose?" Colleen asked.
Sully grinned and embraced his daughter. "Ya look wonderful, Colleen," Sully said. Colleen flushed. She had not heard him speak so honestly to her in..... never. Sully had always been very reserved about his feelings towards the Coopers. They were not insulted. They were not his children. "And you and Andrew look cute together, too."
Colleen stifled her laugh. "Why are you climbing through my window?" she asked him.
"I forgot you and Andrew would be here now," Sully replied. "I knew this window was always unlocked and the front and back doors are locked. You know I never carry house keys." Colleen nodded. Sully had been captured numerous times by others. He did not want to give them easy, quiet passage into his family's house. "Figured I'd come up here and be quiet."
"Cloud Dancing?" Colleen asked.
"He's with Dorothy," Sully replied. "Michaela home?"
Colleen nodded. "Andrew's been doing all her house calls," Colleen said. "He won't let her."
Sully grinned. "Remind me to thank him," he replied. He briefly enclosed her in his arms again. "Go back to bed."
Colleen watched him creep from the room and shook her head with a quiet laugh. Sully. Her pa. Always had to do things to hard, quiet way. Colleen went back to bed and fell asleep in her husband's arms.