Recently an anonymous pervert found out something when he was looking at drawings of naked fairies being molested by insects.

Anonymous Pervert (AP): I's was lookin' at her titties for... shit, I don'know... eight hours or so? Then I guess I's blinked, because I saw some strange form of hieroglyphic or somethin'. It made no fuckin' sense to me what-so-fuckin'-ever, y'know, dog?
Reporter: Did you try to read it?
AP: I was gonna, but I'm kinda scared o'that shit, y'know, dog? I's heard these things can bite or somethin'. Shiiiiit, I's ain't 'bout no bitin', fuckdatass, bitch! I's cuntlicker, fucker-shit-whorecunt-wang-ass-titty-

After that, the writer stopped typing, as the peckerhead went on for some eighty minutes with that crap and he wasn't going to cramp his wanking hand with nonsensical bullshit.

Crazed scientists declared that the possibility of words and porn being in the same place at the same time were so astronomical that the pervert had to be a con man of some sort. They proceeded to storm the pervert's home with pitchforks and torches, only to discover that the pervert had been right.

Since the crazy scientists were terrified at the idiot's declaration that words might be able to scratch, bite or maim passing viewers, the actual image itself has been quarantined with the scientists and the pervert in the pervert's house in hopes of preventing any spread of this 'hieroglyphic', proclaiming that since the impossible had happened, they needed to study the image in great detail.

Since then, the only discovery they've made is that they were greatly aroused and proceeded to jerk off onto the faces of the stupid reporters who'd gathered around them. When the reporters complained, the scientists claimed to have the dreaded Bukkake Virus, which forced them to jerk off onto people's faces.

However, despite the hilarity that ensued (it was funny to me anyway), the overall tone of the meeting was very serious. After all, people take their porn very seriously. Perverts everywhere might be out of a job or worse, be forced to read!

It is in this writer's opinion that the entire fiasco is incredibly stupid and not worth printing. However, this has been a slow news month and I'm getting paid handsomely, so I don't care much beyond getting this month's paycheck.

~fin~