Hat Trick Avenue

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Screenplay Summary: 'Hat Trick Avenue' (2000 - 120 pages) - The Holy Grail was the cup that caught the blood of Christ at the Last Supper. Flash forward to the present. What if the Stanley Cup was the new Holy Grail?

In the early '70s, "BIBLE BOB" PUTTER was a church minister living in St. Paul, Minnesota. He was also a fan of a struggling minor league hockey team known as the Minnesota Zambonies. Leaving his family, "BIBLE BOB" embarked on a foolish crusade to follow his favorite hockey team to glory. Unfortunately, this crusade was never fulfilled, as "BIBLE BOB" succumbed.

In the late '80s/early '90s, the minor league Minnesota Zambonies became the successor to the major league hockey team, the Minnesota North Stars, when the North Stars were bought out and moved to Dallas, Texas, to reform as the Dallas Stars. On his deathbed, "BIBLE BOB" wrote in his journal that if the Zambonies were ever to win the Stanley Cup Finals, his crusade would be completed by having his ashes placed inside the Stanley Cup. But, who would complete this crusade? Certainly not BOB'S estranged son J.P., a Vietnam veteran and millionaire sports mogul in the Twin Cities. J.P. never forgave his father for leaving his family to embark on his crusade when BOB'S wife was dying from cancer.

The spirit of "BIBLE BOB" rises from the grave in June 1999 to ask his nephew EUGENE to lead the last crusade for the Stanley Cup. The Minnesota Zambonies are playing against the Seattle Grunge in the Stanley Cup Finals.

EUGENE PUTTER is a young greenskeeper at the Vermilion Fairways golf course in northern Minnesota. He is also a newspaper delivery boy. EUGENE agrees to embark on his grandfather's crusade, but he needs some help to do so. EUGENE enlists the aid of his uncle J.P.'S Vietnam war buddy MARLEY REDMOND; bait salesman LAZLO NIBBLE; MARLEY'S young trophy wife CRICKET DeSILVA; bartender BUDDY LaVIGNE; and Moosebirds Bed-N-Breakfast clerks RILEY WELLS and ELLIOT GOLDENTHAL.

The crusaders journey to the Twin Cities. Along the way, EUGENE'S motor home is stolen from a casino parking lot by a pink Cadillac full of freaks dressed in pink. It is here we are introduced to the villains of the story - JUGDISH SIMMS, an androgynous young man with a fetish for the color pink and a certain sexual defect; the PARROT, a Marilyn Manson look-alike; and three molls, ELIZA FRENCH, CLEO LONGET, and MERCEDES DeVILLE.

In the cities, MARLEY enlists the help of his war buddy, J.P. PUTTER, a sports tycoon who just so happens to own a share of the Minnesota Zambonies. J.P. introduces the gang to his business partner SNIGGY ESKEW, a reformed ex-mobster with a penchant for talking dirty. SNIGGY isn't too thrilled about the idea of the crusade, but he gives in.

Meanwhile, the gang parties it up in the Twin Cities. While hanging out at the Mall of America, RILEY and ELLIOT meet two gorgeous young girls who agree to serve as their paramours during the week - CLEO LONGET and MERCEDES DeVILLE. It is here that the good guys meet up with the bad guys face-to-face. JUGDISH and PARROT, at the Mall shopping for a pink diamond engagement ring, invite RILEY and ELLIOT to a Stanley Cup party at JUGDISH'S dad's mansion.

At JUGDISH'S party, RILEY and ELLIOT learn their girlfriend's are strippers at JUGDISH'S private strip club in the basement, called the Bunny Club. They also learn JUGDISH and PARROT are both getting married to ELIZA FRENCH. And, they also learn of JUGDISH'S sexual deformity and the truth behind his pink fetish, and also that JUGDISH'S father is ARCHIE SIMMS, the owner of the Seattle Grunge hockey team. Through RILEY'S and ELLIOT'S relationships with CLEO and MERCEDES, a conspiracy is soon revealed. It seems ARCHIE SIMMS plans to buy out the Zambonies and move them to a different state. Too bad SNIGGY ESKEW signs a contract that gives SIMMS the Zambonies if they lose the Stanley Cup Finals. ARCHIE makes certain the Zambonies lose. He pays the Zambonies' top players to throw the final game in exchange for lucrative positions on the Seattle Grunge the following season.

And, what are the good guys going to do about this? Simple. Kidnap the top players paid off by ARCHIE and institute look-alikes in the Stanley Cup Finals' final game.

Will the Zambonies win the Stanley Cup? Will "BIBLE BOB" finally find eternal peace? Will the relationship between a father and son be mended? Will EUGENE ever find his motor home? Will SNIGGY get revenge on ARCHIE SIMMS? Will this script summary ever come to a close?

The quest for the Holy Grail begins on the ice!


A screenwriting method I use is to cast popular actors in the roles I create, so I can envision what the characters look like and what they should sound like. Essentially, if I was directing this movie myself, this is who I would cast. Here is the list of actors I based the characters in 'Hat Trick Avenue' on:

Marley Redmond - Jeff Daniels
Lazlo Nibble - Crispin Glover
J.P. Putter - Bill Murray
Sniggy Eskew - Joe Pesci
Archie Simms - Christopher Walken
Bible Bob - George Carlin
Jugdish Simms - Alan Cumming
The Parrot - Marilyn Manson
Riley Wells - Sean Patrick Flannery (or Seann William Scott)
Elliot Goldenthal - Jack Black
Eugene Putter - Seth Green
Christine "Cricket" DeSilva - Carmen Llewellyn
Buddy LaVigne - Jason Lee
Eliza French - Jaime Pressly
Cleo Longet - Laura Harris
Mercedes DeVille - Bijou Phillips


You can reach the writer at:

John F. Mollard
24 Taconite Drive
Virginia, MN 55792
(218) 749-5014 or (218) 666-5741
Email: jfmollard@hotmail.com