Hat Trick Avenue
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Screenplay Summary: 'Hat Trick Avenue' (2000 - 120 pages) - The Holy Grail was the cup that caught the blood of Christ at the Last Supper. Flash forward to the present. What if the Stanley Cup was the new Holy Grail?
In the early '70s, "BIBLE BOB" PUTTER was a church minister living in St. Paul, Minnesota. He was also a fan of a struggling minor league hockey team known as the Minnesota Zambonies. Leaving his family, "BIBLE BOB" embarked on a foolish crusade to follow his favorite hockey team to glory. Unfortunately, this crusade was never fulfilled, as "BIBLE BOB" succumbed.
In the late '80s/early '90s, the minor league Minnesota Zambonies became the successor to the major league hockey team, the Minnesota North Stars, when the North Stars were bought out and moved to Dallas, Texas, to reform as the Dallas Stars. On his deathbed, "BIBLE BOB" wrote in his journal
that if the Zambonies were ever to win the Stanley Cup Finals, his crusade would be completed by having his ashes placed inside the Stanley Cup. But, who
would complete this crusade? Certainly not BOB'S estranged son J.P., a Vietnam veteran and millionaire sports mogul in the Twin Cities. J.P. never
forgave his father for leaving his family to embark on his crusade when
BOB'S wife was dying from cancer.
The spirit of "BIBLE BOB" rises from the grave in June 1999 to ask his
nephew EUGENE to lead the last crusade for the Stanley Cup. The Minnesota
Zambonies are playing against the Seattle Grunge in the Stanley Cup
Finals.
EUGENE PUTTER is a young greenskeeper at the Vermilion Fairways golf
course
in northern Minnesota. He is also a newspaper delivery boy. EUGENE
agrees
to embark on his grandfather's crusade, but he needs some help to do so.
EUGENE enlists the aid of his uncle J.P.'S Vietnam war buddy MARLEY
REDMOND;
bait salesman LAZLO NIBBLE; MARLEY'S young trophy wife CRICKET DeSILVA;
bartender BUDDY LaVIGNE; and Moosebirds Bed-N-Breakfast clerks RILEY WELLS
and ELLIOT GOLDENTHAL.
The crusaders journey to the Twin Cities. Along the way, EUGENE'S motor
home is stolen from a casino parking lot by a pink Cadillac full of freaks
dressed in pink. It is here we are introduced to the villains of the
story
- JUGDISH SIMMS, an androgynous young man with a fetish for the color pink
and a certain sexual defect; the PARROT, a Marilyn Manson look-alike; and
three molls, ELIZA FRENCH, CLEO LONGET, and MERCEDES DeVILLE.
In the cities, MARLEY enlists the help of his war buddy, J.P. PUTTER, a
sports tycoon who just so happens to own a share of the Minnesota
Zambonies.
J.P. introduces the gang to his business partner SNIGGY ESKEW, a
reformed
ex-mobster with a penchant for talking dirty. SNIGGY isn't too thrilled
about the idea of the crusade, but he gives in.
Meanwhile, the gang parties it up in the Twin Cities. While hanging out
at
the Mall of America, RILEY and ELLIOT meet two gorgeous young girls who
agree to serve as their paramours during the week - CLEO LONGET and
MERCEDES
DeVILLE. It is here that the good guys meet up with the bad guys
face-to-face. JUGDISH and PARROT, at the Mall shopping for a pink diamond
engagement ring, invite RILEY and ELLIOT to a Stanley Cup party at
JUGDISH'S
dad's mansion.
At JUGDISH'S party, RILEY and ELLIOT learn their girlfriend's are
strippers
at JUGDISH'S private strip club in the basement, called the Bunny Club.
They also learn JUGDISH and PARROT are both getting married to ELIZA
FRENCH.
And, they also learn of JUGDISH'S sexual deformity and the truth behind
his pink fetish, and also that JUGDISH'S father is ARCHIE SIMMS, the owner
of the Seattle Grunge hockey team.
Through RILEY'S and ELLIOT'S relationships with CLEO and MERCEDES, a
conspiracy is soon revealed. It seems ARCHIE SIMMS plans to buy out the
Zambonies and move them to a different state. Too bad SNIGGY ESKEW signs
a
contract that gives SIMMS the Zambonies if they lose the Stanley Cup
Finals.
ARCHIE makes certain the Zambonies lose. He pays the Zambonies' top
players to throw the final game in exchange for lucrative positions on the
Seattle Grunge the following season.
And, what are the good guys going to do about this? Simple. Kidnap the
top
players paid off by ARCHIE and institute look-alikes in the Stanley Cup
Finals' final game.
Will the Zambonies win the Stanley Cup? Will "BIBLE BOB" finally find
eternal peace? Will the relationship between a father and son be mended?
Will EUGENE ever find his motor home? Will SNIGGY get revenge on ARCHIE
SIMMS? Will this script summary ever come to a close?
The quest for the Holy Grail begins on the ice!
A screenwriting method I use is to cast popular actors in the roles I create, so I can envision what the characters look like and what they should sound like. Essentially, if I was directing this movie myself, this is who I would cast. Here is the list of actors I based the characters in 'Hat Trick Avenue' on:
Marley Redmond - Jeff Daniels
Lazlo Nibble - Crispin Glover
J.P. Putter - Bill Murray
Sniggy Eskew - Joe Pesci
Archie Simms - Christopher Walken
Bible Bob - George Carlin
Jugdish Simms - Alan Cumming
The Parrot - Marilyn Manson
Riley Wells - Sean Patrick Flannery (or Seann William Scott)
Elliot Goldenthal - Jack Black
Eugene Putter - Seth Green
Christine "Cricket" DeSilva - Carmen Llewellyn
Buddy LaVigne - Jason Lee
Eliza French - Jaime Pressly
Cleo Longet - Laura Harris
Mercedes DeVille - Bijou Phillips
You can reach the writer at:
John F. Mollard
24 Taconite Drive
Virginia, MN 55792
(218) 749-5014 or (218) 666-5741
Email: jfmollard@hotmail.com