Johnny Jump-Up

Come listen I'll tel you what happened to me
One day as I went down to Cork by the sea
The day it was hot and the sun it was warm
Says I a quiet pint wouldn't do me no harm
I went in and asked for a bottle of Stout
Says the barman "I'm sorry all the beer is sold out,
Try whiskey or paddy, ten years in the wood."
Says I, "I'll try cider," I've heard it was good.

Chorus:
O never, O never, O never again
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up
After drinking a quart of that Johnny Jump-Up

After downing the third I went out to the yard
Where I bumped into Brody, the big civic gaurd
"Come here to me boy, don't you know I'm the law?"
Well I up with me fist and I shattered his jaw
He fell to the ground with his knees doubled up
But it wasn't I hit him, 'twas Johnny Jump-Up
The next thing I remember down in Cork by the sea
Was a cripple on crutches and says he to me
"I'm afraid for me life I'll be hit by a car,
Won't you help me across to the Celtic Knot Bar?"
After drinking a quart of that cider so sweet,
He threw down his crutches and danced on his feet.

Chorus

I went down the road, a friend for to see,
They call it the mad house in Cork by the sea
Well when I got there, sure the truth I will tell
They had this poor bugger locked up in a cell
Said the gaurd, testing him, say these words if you can
"Around the rugged rocks, the ragged rascal ran"
Tell him I'm not crazy, tell him I'm not mad,
It was only a sip of the bottle I had

Chorus

A man died in the mines by the name of McNab,
They washed him and laid him outside on the slab
Well after the parlors measurements did take
His wife brought him home to a bloody fine wake
Twas about 12 o'clock and the beer was high
The corpse sits up, and says with a sigh
"I can't go to heaven, they won't let me up
Til I bring them a quart of the Johnny Jump-Up"

Chorus

So if you ever go down to Cork by the sea
Stay out of the ale house and take it from me
If you want to stay sane don't you dare take a sup
Of that devil drink cider called Johnny Jump-Up

Chorus
Chorus

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