Came Apart
By Jessica Silver

Sweater

	"So what do you want to do Saturday night?" Greg asked.  He was on the phone 
talking to Jessi about their plans for the weekend, and stressing over his scholarship essay 
for Augustana.
	"Um, I dunno," Jessi replied, sounding preoccupied.  The fact was that she was 
thoroughly engrossed in a game of Final Fantasy 9, and was barely paying attention to 
Greg on the other end.
	"How about a movie?" he suggested.  He wrote another word into the rough draft 
of his essay.
	"Maybe," Jess said.  "Aw, dammit!  It killed me again!" she swore, suffering 
another defeat on the game. 
	"Are you paying attention at all?" Greg asked, getting frustrated.
	"Yeah, uh, how about a movie this Saturday?" Jess proposed.
	"Ugh, you weren't listening!  I have to go, I'm going to Kmart to return a sweater 
I got for Christmas.  We'll talk about this when I get back.  Bye," Greg said, hanging up 
the phone.
	Jessi sat in front of the TV with the phone receiver in her hand, which was blaring 
a dial tone.  "Was it something I said?"  No one was there to answer.
	
	Greg stomped out to his car feeling quite upset.  "Women... geez, I don't 
understand them," he muttered.  He went to open the door, and almost missed a slip of 
yellow paper that had been placed underneath the windshield wiper.  "What's this?" he 
wondered, reaching for the flyer.  He unfolded it, and it read "DON'T GO" in all caps.
	Greg studied it for a minute, and felt a tinge of uneasiness, but it was soon 
overshadowed by the strong emotions he had been experiencing previously.  The wind 
began to howl mysteriously, stirring up the snow that had collected on the car.  Greg felt 
a mysterious stirring inside as well, and he decided, note or not, that he had better get in 
and drive to let off some steam.
	He got in the driver's side, turned the ignition, and pulled out of his driveway, 
zooming towards Kmart.
	When he arrived at the building, Greg noticed that there weren't very many other 
cars in the parking lot.  "Maybe it's closed today," he thought, but then remembered that, 
in the spirit of all trashy stores, it was open every day of the year.  "Hmm, then I must 
just be lucky; there won't be a crowd at the return counter."
	Confident that nothing was amiss, he walked up to the door and looked through 
the glass.  The lights were on, and there were a few souls milling around inside.  He 
exhaled; Greg hadn't realized that he was holding his breath.  He tried the automatic 
door, and nearly crashed into it.  "Broken," he muttered, noting how it added to the trashy 
milieu.  He decided to suffer the inconvenience of the manual door, for the sake of 
returning the ugly sweater he was clutching in his hand.  Once inside, Greg turned 
towards the return counter.  He had taken barely a step in that direction when the lights 
suddenly shut off.  "Aw, what the...?" Greg began before a hand clapped over his mouth, 
silencing him.

Final Fantasy

	"Get up you FREAK!" Jess yelled at the TV screen.  Once again, a member of her 
party had been KO'd most unceremoniously by a rogue Red Dragon.  "And I'm plum out 
of 'phoenix down,' I guess I'll have to dip into my supply of 'phoenix pinions,'" she 
groaned.  While she was selecting her next command, she happened to glance at the 
clock on her nightstand.  It had been four hours since her conversation with Greg.
	"Oh my God, I can't believe it!  I've been playing this game nonstop for 10 hours 
already, time to take a break," she decided.  She saved the game and turned off the 
Playstation, which was giving off an unhealthy amount of heat.  Feeling a little guilty 
about ignoring Greg, she decided to give him a call, so they could work it out.
	She picked up the phone and dialed his number; his mom answered.
	"Hello?" she said.
	"Yes, is Greg there?" Jessi asked.  She absentmindedly began to pick at her 
fingernails, waiting for him to answer the phone.  She was dismayed with his mother's 
reply.
	"Why, no, he isn't.  Is this Jessi?  I thought he was at your house," his mom said, 
sounding a little distressed.
	Jessi's heart began to thump in her chest.  "Um, he told me that he was going to 
Kmart to return a sweater.  Maybe he just got sidetracked or something," she said, both to 
comfort his mother, and calm her own running imagination.
	"Well, call me if he shows up there, and I'll tell you if he comes home," Greg's 
mom said, sounding a great deal more worried than before.
	"Thanks, I will.  Bye."  Jessi hung up the phone and realized that she hadn't taken 
a breath in quite a while.  Exhaling heavily, she decided to call Marni to see if Greg had 
stopped over at her house.
	She dialed Marni's number, then waited a couple of rings until the voicemail 
message came up.  "Damn, someone's on the internet," Jessi swore, starting to become 
frantic.  In her mind, she kept going over every possible scenario.  Maybe he decided to 
see a movie.  Maybe he needed to do some shopping.  Or maybe the conversation with 
her earlier... 
	"...Made him drive his car off a bridge into the Mississippi River!" Jessi covered 
her mouth in horror.  "I killed my boyfriend!"  Panicking, she rushed out the door and 
trudged through the ice and snow all the way to Marni's house.
	Marni was online talking to Brian about the new band piece that Mr. Schleicher 
was trying to get the band to play for contest, when she heard the doorbell ring.  Her 
sister and her parents were shopping at Wal-Mart (just goes to show you how little they 
learned from being taken prisoner and having their consciousnesses sucked out by Sam 
Walton).  She got up from the computer and went to answer the door.
	She opened the door, and saw Jessi standing there, looking very tired, and very 
cold.
	"Hey, Marni," Jess said weakly, moments before collapsing to the ground in a 
cold, tired heap.

	"Wake up, Jessi, wake up!" Marni cried, jostling Jess' lifeless body.
	Jess began to stir and almost instantly grabbed her forehead.  "Ugh, it hurts..." she 
moaned.  It was as if her ears were ringing and wouldn't stop.  Suddenly she remembered 
the reason for being there.  "I killed my boyfriend!"
	Marni looked puzzled.  "Huh?  What the hell are you talking about?" she asked.
	Jessi began to get teary.  "We had a fight on the phone, like more than 4 hours 
ago, and he left to go to Kmart to return a sweater, and he isn't back yet!"
	"Well, maybe he's still there, at Kmart I mean," Marni replied.  
	"He wouldn't stay at Kmart longer than he absolutely needed to, he hates that 
store," Jessi said, calming down slightly.
	Marni began to remember her days of working at Kmart, and figured that anyone 
going into the store, and voluntarily at that, was probably a long shot.  But she had a 
sense, and undeniable feeling in her gut, that somehow the store held some connection to 
Greg's sudden disappearance.
	"We'll just stop over there for a little bit and see if he's in there, okay?" she said.
	Jess looked leery.  "Well... okay, I guess, but I don't think we'll find anything 
anyway."
	Marni gave Jess a coat, and they set off for Kmart.

Lingerie Precipitation

	There was obviously something fishy going on at Kmart.  The first thing that 
Marni and Jessi noticed was the fact that there were barely any cars in the parking lot.  
However, they did see Greg's car parked in the outskirts of the lot.
	"See, I told you he was here, now all we have to do is go inside and find him, then 
you can make up and everything will be peachy," Marni said.
	"Yeah, okay, I give it to you that his car is here, but what would keep him tied-up 
here so long?  He's usually so busy that he never really stays in one place for any length 
of time.  Especially such a piss hole like this," Jess replied.  She was still obviously 
worried.
	"Fine, let's just go in and see.  Trust me, it'll be fine," Marni said.  The two of 
them walked across the dilapidated blacktop parking lot.  The crunch of the gravel 
beneath their feet was the only sound that escaped the eerie silence permeating the area.  
Marni looked around and noticed that there really weren't that many cars in the lot, but 
realized that the ones that were there were strangely... ghetto-fied.  The license plates 
displayed messages such as "PIMPIN" and "MO-MONY" and were all quite expensive-
looking.  She shrugged it off, not willing to buy into Jessi's suspicions about the store.
	When they reached the door, everything looked in order; the lights were on, there 
were people inside shopping, and nothing seemed particularly out of the ordinary.  They 
went for the automatic door, and they ran right into it, realizing that it was out of order.  
They should have known.
	Things looked a little different once they got inside.  There were people milling 
about, but they all looked a little out of it.  They were gaunt and their eyes were 
bloodshot, as if they had been up all night.  Even the children looked a little pale and 
weren't as lively as they should have been.  
	"Do the people here look a little... sick to you?" Jessi asked.
	Marni was being stubborn.  "Hey, there's just a flu bug going around, nothing 
unusual," she said, though the waver in her voice indicated that she was beginning to 
disbelieve herself.
	"Okay, I had that flu bug, and I was coughing and blowing my nose like mad.  I 
didn't become a bloodshot-eyed zombie," Jess countered.  It was getting more and more 
frustrating having to defend her position.
	"Well, maybe they're all just sad that they have to shop here, okay?  Anyway, it 
doesn't matter, we're here to find Greg, so let's get moving."  Marni started off in one 
direction and all Jess could really do was follow.
	They began searching in the pharmaceuticals department: all they found of note 
were boxes upon boxes of clearance condoms.  It was amusing, but not what they were 
looking for.  In housewares, they began noticing the abundance of Martha Stewart brand 
merchandise.
	"Yeah, they think they can pull their shitty store out of the gutter by hiring Martha 
Stewart to design a shitty line of household items.  Pshah, I'm so sure," Jess said.  Marni 
giggled.  However, one of the customers didn't seem to think it was so funny.  He spun 
around to face them, though the motion seemed to mess with his equilibrium.
	"Hey, don' you go dissin' Martha Stewart like that, y'hear?" he said 
inarticulately.
	Jess, who had been exposed to much worse customer behavior, shrugged it off.  
"Riight, whatever dude.  Ever heard of free speech?  I can call Martha Stewart a frickin' 
beotch and you can't do anything about it, so go back to your booze and your P.O.S. store 
and shut up," she said, feeling brave and having a good time.
	It didn't remain a good time for long.
	The man began to look like he was beyond being a little irate.  In fact, the pulsing 
vein on his forehead betrayed his lack of composure.  Jess began to regret her smart 
mouth and started to inch backwards in retreat.
	"Grrr," the man growled menacingly.  His frighteningly bloodshot eyes were now 
much more prominent and his muscles tensed visibly with fury as he paced towards Jess 
and Marni.  However, in addition to his furious stance, he also seemed to be a little ill 
and sweaty.
	"Hey, buddy, you'd better settle down," Marni said, noticing the man's 
deteriorating condition.
	Suddenly, he grasped at his chest and began to wheeze for breath, before 
collapsing in a heap on the floor.
	"Did he just have a heart attack?" Jess asked.
	Marni didn't bother to answer.  "Yeah, so I think maybe we should go looking 
somewhere else," she suggested hastily.  The two of them left the scene at a quick 
walking pace, trying to draw as little attention to themselves as possible.  The soon 
arrived at the women's intimate apparel department, and decided that it would be a good 
place to regroup and formulate a more thorough plan.
	"Okay, so I think it's safe to say that something's really not right here at the ol' 
Kmart," Jess stated.
	"No kidding, I agree," Marni surrendered.  "The people here, I dunno, do they 
seem a little 'drugged-up' to you?"
	"That's what I was thinking.  Not that I would know or anything, but it seems like 
everyone's on crack," Jess replied.  "Of course, I always did think that Kmart was an 
underground drug operation, but that's just my speculation... anyway, now we'd better try 
and find..." she stopped talking suddenly.
	"We'd better try and find what?" Marni prodded.
	"Do you hear something?" Jess asked, cocking her head to the side to listen.
	Marni listened for a moment.  She thought that she heard something fall off a 
hanger, but nothing particularly strange.  "No, not really," she offered.
	"I thought I heard some heavy breathing coming from around the corner," Jess 
insisted.  She took a chance and tentatively peered around the corner, and her jaw 
dropped in disgust.  "Oh my GAWD!" she whispered.  She could see a man around the 
corner facing one of the bra racks.
	Marni couldn't help taking a look, and she had much the same reaction.  "Is 
he...?"
	"Yeah, I think so," Jess replied.  She could barely choke back her laughter, 
because the man around the corner was, shall we say, getting his jollies in public.
	"Hey you!" Jess yelled suddenly, startling the man and causing him to fall 
forward into the bra rack.  Bras came falling down upon the floor like giant, lacy 
snowflakes.
	"What'd you have to go and do that for?" the exhibitionist cried as he hurriedly 
zipped up his pants.  Jess saw his face for the first time, and came to the realization that 
this man looked healthy and drug free, unlike all the other shoppers they had noticed.
	"Heh, sorry, I just couldn't resist," Jess apologized.  "Say, could I ask you a 
question?"
	"I suppose," he grumbled.
	"Well, did you happen to notice a tall kid with poofy-ish hair come in here a few 
hours ago?" she asked.
	The man rubbed his chin.  "You know, I do seem to remember someone like that.  
He had a sweater with him, right?"
	"Yeah, that's him!" Jessi was getting excited now.  "You didn't see where he 
went, did you?"
	"Well, he walked in the door and was turned towards the direction of the return 
counter, and then the lights went out and a couple of shady-looking characters came out 
and grabbed him.  I would have gone to help, but, ah, I was a little busy," he explained 
sheepishly.
	"Oh brother, that's totally sick," Marni groaned.
	"Well, at least we know he didn't just come here to hang out, right Marni?" Jess 
asked smugly.  Marni didn't acknowledge her with a reply.
	"I guess we'll just have to look for more clues, then.  Thanks for your help," Jess 
said.  "Say, what's your name anyway?" she asked him.
	"Ian Maxwell Cumming, no comments please," he said.  Jess shut her mouth 
before any snide remark happened to leak out.  "I'll try to keep my eyes peeled for 
anything else, good luck."
	With that, Jess and Marni left to continue their search.

White As Snow

	"So, those two children think that they can overturn my empire."
	"Madam, you shall easily thwart their attempts."
	"So funny you should say that, I have had questions as to your loyalty."
	"Lies, all lies Madam, my loyalty lies with you and you alone."
	"I should hope so, you may be the only one who can convince our... prisoner that 
our way is the only way."
	"I shall try my best to persuade him, Madam."
	Greg struggled against his restraints as they prepared him for another round of... 
the pipe.

	Marni and Jess walked back towards the return counter, hoping to find some clue 
that would point them to Greg. As they arrived, the two employees behind the counter 
talked to each other, not bothering to look up.  Jess ignored them and began to take a 
closer look at the area.
	"Say, these marks on the floor, they look like shoe scuffs don't they?" Jess asked.
	"Yeah, but they could be anyone's," Marni replied skeptically.
	Jess eyed the shoe marks and followed them to a back room door.  "It looks like 
they lead into that back room," she whispered, "but how are we supposed to get past 
those employees?"
	"I have the feeling that it won't be too difficult.  Watch this," Marni said.  She 
waved to the employees.  They ignored her.  She made faces at them and made annoying 
sounds.  They ignored her.  She began to belt out some random showtune.  The 
employees didn't even acknowledge her.
	"Wow, now that's customer service," Jess commented sarcastically.  She made 
for the back room door as Marni was finishing up the last verse.  Marni followed her.  
	It seemed as if they had entered a storage area.  It looked like a stock room of 
some sort, with stacks of cardboard boxes piled on pallets.  However, the boxes were 
unmarked and there didn't seem to be anyone around working. 
	"It's a little eerie in here," Marni said nervously.  It smelled a little... odd as well.
	"What is that stink?" Jess said, wrinkling her nose.  After a second, though, she 
started to feel a little light-headed.  "Saaaay, this feels kinda good," she said.
	Marni raised an eyebrow.  "I wonder what's in these boxes," she said.  She took 
out her nail file and cut the packing tape off of one of the boxes.  Inside were stacks of 
plastic bags containing white powder.  "Oh my God!  This looks like crack... not that I 
would know from personal experience or anything, but you know."
	"Well, that would sure explain how I feel right now... kind of like, whoa, you 
know?"
	"Jess, you're not making sense," Marni said.
	"Whee, I feel great!"  Jess was twirling around laughing.
	Marni narrowed her eyes.  "Hey, yoo-hoo, we've got a job to do... get a grip!"
	"I see that you've discovered my private stash."  The echoes of an unfamiliar 
female voice in the warehouse signaled the entrance of a third party.  A figure shrouded 
in a black cloak walked across the concrete floor, the clicks of her boot heels resounding 
throughout the room.
	"Ooo, it's a magician, do we get to see a magic show?" Jessi said amid airy 
giggles.
	The stranger planted her staff on the floor suddenly.  "A magician?  Certainly you 
ought to show more respect.  With the wave of a hand, I could flatten this whole 
building," she said menacingly.
	"Ah, so you're a sorceress?  Puh-leeeze, give us some credit," Marni said.
	"Silence!  I will have none of your insolence!"
	"Yeah, that wasn't a totally clich‚ thing to say," Marni said sarcastically and with 
an almost stupid amount of bravery.
	The stranger began to shudder under her cloak with barely controlled rage.  "I 
don't have time to continue this little discussion further.  Number one, you may have 
your way with them!"
	At the woman's command, another individual dressed in a cloak entered the 
room, brandishing a shining golden sword.  The other individual, who had established 
herself as the leader, disappeared in a cloud of smoke.  Or was it a cloud of crack dust?
	"I will finish you both off as my master commands," said the new individual.  She 
juggled her sword from hand to hand in a dizzying array of slashes and twirls.  She 
inched closer and closer to Jess, who was far beyond understanding what the hell was 
going on.
	"Oooh, pretty colors," Jess said as she wobbled back and forth.  Her head was 
spinning and she could barely keep herself vertical.  This proved to be quite helpful, 
however, since as long as Jess was bobbing around unpredictably, the sword-bearing 
individual couldn't hit her.
	"Quit moving, you imbecile!"  She slashed and stabbed at Jess, but could never 
actually touch her.  This gave Marni a chance to sneak up behind her and whack her over 
the head with a stick.
	"Aha, now I've got you!" Marni proclaimed as she whacked the person in the 
head.  The figure crumpled to the ground in and unconscious mass.  Jess finally collapsed 
too, worn out from the drugs.
	Marni dropped the stick.  "Now it's time to see who you are," she said, pulling 
the hood from the face.  When she saw the face inside, she almost wished that she hadn't 
looked at all.
	"Oh my God..." she whispered.
	"Hm, what?" Jess said, coming to her senses.  She then got a glimpse of what 
Marni was looking at.  She almost wished she hadn't woken up.
	It was Greg's mom.
Broken Spells

	"I can't believe it, I just can't believe it..." Marni said over and over to herself.  
Greg's mom was laying on the floor between her and Jessi, still unconscious from the 
blow to the head.  Jess, in the meantime, had come off of her drug trip.
	"Oh God, I have a horrible headache," she groaned, sitting with her head between 
her knees.
	"Why would Greg's mom attack us?"  As Marni continued to murmur, Greg's 
mom began to stir.  
	"Ugh, where am I?" She moaned.  Gone was the threatening evil present within 
her earlier.  She was simply Greg's mom again.
	"Well, that's a little hard to explain, see, we're in a back room at Kmart where 
they store the crack," Marni began.
	"Yeah, and there's this evil person dressed in a cloak who says that it's her 
'private stash,' but we don't know who she is," Jessi said, massaging her temples.
	"And we're just trying to find out where Greg went.  We were assuming that you 
knew where he was."
	Mrs. Asplund looked puzzled.  "Ah, well, I may very well know where he is, but I 
think that blow to the head made me forget."  She rubbed the bump on her head gingerly 
and grimaced slightly.  "And I have no clue why I'm dressed like a witch."
	"I got the impression that you were working for that other person," Jessi said.
	"Yeah, she sent you to attack us," Marni added, "but maybe she put some spell on 
you, since we know that you're not an evil person."
	"I guess time will have to tell, because nothing is ringing a bell at the moment."
	"I guess we should get out of here and keep looking for Greg.  And take that cloak 
off, it's really very conspicuous," Jess said with a wave of her hand.  Her hangover was 
making her crabby.
	The three companions picked themselves up off the floor and walked back 
towards the door they had used to enter.

	"Pitiful fools, how dare you think you can escape me!" Said the female voice who 
had but a short time ago been confronted with the likes of Jess and Marni.  She pounded 
a fist on the table, rattling a pot of homemade herbal tea and blueberry scones, fresh from 
the oven.
	"Master, please, let me take care of them for you," pleaded her young prot‚g‚.
	She grinned with delight at his willingness to serve her.  "Patience, my student, 
you'll get your chance.  We must get them at their most vulnerable.  Surprise them.  And 
teach them not to cross us again."
	"Yes, my lady," he replied with a deeply respectful bow.  His black cape 
swooshed with the movement, and his golden sword twinkled in the sparse light.
	"We'll also have to make sure that your mother realizes the consequences of 
switching sides."
	"Yes, my lady," he repeated.
	"Now, have a scone, before they get cold."

*	*	*

	"Where the heck haven't we looked yet?" Jess whined.  Her feet were beginning 
to ache.
	"Well, we've already been in the pharmaceutical department, housewares, and the 
lingerie racks.  We could still check in toys, I suppose," Marni replied.  
	"Yeah, cuz we all know Greg's just gonna be sitting there, playing with toys," 
Jess said sarcastically.
	"Well then, what do you suggest?  So far all we've done is get some crackhead 
psycho after us."
	"Um, girls," Greg's mom started.
	"Well, we're not even looking, we've just been wandering around aimlessly in the 
store."
	"Okay, if you have a better idea, why don't you just share your brilliant plan with 
the rest of us and save us some trouble!"
	"Girls," Greg's mom repeated.
	"Quit yelling at me!"
	"No, you quit it!"
	"Girls!"
	"WHAT!!!"
	"Is that man over there doing what I think he's doing?"
	Jess and Marni both looked towards the electronics area, then smiled.  "Oh, that's 
just Ian," Jessi said.
	"I wonder if he's found anything.  It certainly looks like he has some free time," 
Marni said.
	"But don't you see what he's doing?"
	"Yeah, Ian's like that, let's go talk to him," Jessi said.  They walked over to 
electronics.
	"IAN!" Marni yelled.  Once again, Ian was startled so badly that he sent a pile of 
DVDs flying into the air.  A stray copy of "Road Trip" took a course straight for Greg's 
mom and hit her between the eyes.
	"Stop doing that to me, will ya?" Ian exclaimed, zipping up his pants.
	"Ugh, oh, that smarts," Greg's mom groaned.  "Hey, I remember everything 
now!"  How fortunate!
	Jessi momentarily forgot all about Ian.  "Oh, tell us, tell us!" She said excitedly.
	"Well, I remember that I was shopping at Kmart a few weeks ago, and all the 
lights went out in the store.  I just thought that a fuse had blown, but then I started to feel 
really light-headed and I forgot what I was doing.  I remember being attacked by a group 
of thugs with really bloodshot eyes, but I managed to escape.  Today, when I realized that 
Greg was on his way here, I left a note on his car telling him not to come here, but he 
didn't pay attention.  Jessi, when you called me this morning, asking me where he was, I 
realized that he was probably in trouble, so I rushed to Kmart to help him.  When I got 
there, I was confronted with that woman.  She told me that if I went with her, Greg 
wouldn't be hurt.  She shot me up with her drugs and caused me to do her bidding.  In my 
stupor, I gave the same drugs to Greg.  And now..."
	"Now he's the new 'disciple' and is probably in the process of planning an attack.  
I know that much from the hearsay around here," Ian added.
	"The four of you are very smart, very smart indeed."
	They all spun around to the sight of the cloaked woman, along with her new 
partner in crime.
	"Greg!" Jess exclaimed.
	"Heh, he can't hear you.  And even if he could, he wouldn't care at all!"
	"Shut up, you bitch," Jess replied. 
	"Respect, young lady, Respect.  It's a good thing."
	"You're one to talk about respect, you old hag.  You go around kidnapping 
innocent people and drugging them up.  What made you think you could run a crack 
business here in Kmart anyway?  It makes absolutely no sense," Jess said, feeling her 
anger reach the limit.
	"Ah, on the contrary, my young antagonist, it all makes perfect sense."  The 
cloaked one marched closer, her boots clicking on the linoleum.  "Kmart, a struggling 
discount store chain about to go under.  They are desperate.  I come to them with a 
solution to supplement their income.  What harm can there be in that?"
	"Gee, hmm, I wonder, maybe that it's just totally illegal, harmful to others, and 
generally not nice to deal drugs?" Marni replied.
	"It was a rhetorical question, you little nitwit!"
	"Excuse me for a moment," Greg's mom interjected.  "Well, I was just 
remembering an article I read in the paper recently, and it said that the reason Kmart has 
stayed afloat in the discount market is because of the introduction of the Martha Stewart 
line of home decorating products."
	"Very well put, Ms. Asplund," Marni complimented.
	"Thank you."
	The cloaked one began to chuckle.  "Ah, a wonderful cover for our operations, 
don't you think?  The public thinks we've gone upscale, while the real cash cow is our 
little snow factory in the back.  Putting my name... ah, I mean Martha Stewart's name on 
those products..."
	"Whoa, hey, yo, hold the phone," Jessi said.  "Who exactly are you?"
	"Hmm, I seem to have slipped up.  Well, if you must know..."  She reached for 
the hood of her cloak, and whipped it off in one swift, smooth motion.  There, dressed in 
a black vinyl bodysuit and matching thigh-high boots was none other than...
	"Martha Stewart!" Marni gasped.
	"You're right, little one," Martha said menacingly.  She held tight to a long 
leather whip as she grinned wickedly.  "Disciple, show our friends here how we deal with 
annoying little pests who trespass upon my empire."
	Greg rushed forward, bearing the same golden sword that had recently belonged 
to his mother.  He had a blank look on his face, almost fatigued, as if he were walking in 
his sleep.  He didn't say a word as he swung the sword towards Jessi and the group.
	"Greg, stop it!" Jess ordered, but he couldn't hear her, and continued closer.
	"I told you, he's under my control," Martha countered.
	Jess wasn't listening.  "Greg, I'm sorry I ignored you on the phone!  I'll never do 
it again, I promise.  Hell, I'll even give up Final Fantasy, just snap out of it!"
	Greg's hypnosis had been quite thorough, however.  He came to Jessi and grabbed 
her by the back of the shirt collar, then brought the sword to her throat.  Her eyes 
widened as she dangled there on the verge of losing her life.
	Martha grinned again the ugly grin of pure evil.  Her vinyl getup squeaked as she 
paced towards Marni and the others.  "Look at your friend there, dangling helplessly.  I'm 
betting that you'd rather not see her be killed, hm?  Well, I'm offering you a trade today, 
since I'm feeling so nice.  I'll let her go if you become my followers, simple as that."
	"No, no," Jess said with her constricted voice.  "I'll be your follower, just let the 
rest of them go."
	"Ah, I see we have a volunteer.  All right, then, bring her over here."  Greg 
obediently brought Jess to his master.  Martha pulled a crack pipe out of somewhere 
(though it seemed like there was nowhere to hide anything in that outfit).  She brought 
out a bag of her own special crack recipe, divided it up on a mirror, and forced Jess to 
sniff it up.  In a matter of seconds, Jess was on the ground shuddering.
	"Isn't it beautiful?  Look how she suffers and writhes, I find it so magical."
	"You're a sicko, you know that?  She gave you her soul and her life so that we 
could go free.  That's nobility, but of course, you wouldn't know the meaning of the 
word," Ian said.
	"Oh, but you're not free to go," Martha replied.
	"What?  You agreed that if Jessi offered herself, you would let us go!" Greg's 
mom protested.
	"I never agreed to anything, she only offered.  Now get over here, before I'm 
feeling less friendly and decide to jam this up your nose myself."  She dangled the bag of 
crack in front of them.
	As the subject of Martha's betrayal was being discussed, Jess' limp body began to 
give off the faintest glow.  It grew brighter and she seemed to gain back some of her life 
energy.  Marni caught sight of it first, then Greg's mom, and finally Ian, before Martha 
just had to take a look at what they were all staring at.
	Jessi was hovering above the ground.
	"Oh my God!!  Don't tell me that she's the one?"  Martha exclaimed.
	"The one?" Marni said.
	"The one who has the power to defeat us all!"
	Lightning bolts shot from Jess' body and Greg fell to the ground, unconscious but 
detached from Martha's control.  Her eyes glowed with some deadly power.
	"What's happening to her?" Ian asked.
	Martha shuddered with fear.  "I never thought. she has inherited a special 
power, one that defies control.  It was awakened when I exposed her to my slave drug, 
and now."
	"Now you're dead meat, you psycho bitch!" Greg's mom said.  Boy it's funny 
when adults swear.
	However, Martha attempted to regain her composure, and pulled out her black 
leather whip.  "I will fight you until I DIE!" she vowed, slicing the air with the whip and 
using it to take hold of Jessi's leg.  She pulled and pulled on it, striving to draw Jess back 
down to solid ground.
	Instead, Jess pulled her up.  All the way up to the ceiling, in fact, with Martha 
dangling helplessly beneath her.
	"Dammit, what are you doing?" Martha cried, her grip on her weapon slowly 
slipping.  
	Jess merely looked down to her, eyes glowing with pure energy.  A stray bolt flew 
from her body to Martha's, causing Martha's grip to falter slightly.  
	This caused Martha to rethink her plan of attack.  "Wait!  If you spare me, we can 
join forces and I'll provide you with everything you could ever want!" She said pitifully.  
	Jess pointed a finger and zapped her.
	Martha finally lost her grip on the whip, and plummeted to the ground where she 
was impaled by the umbrella from one  of her own patio sets.  Jess floated slowly to the 
floor and as she reached the linoleum, fell into a deep sleep.
	"She did it," Marni said.  She was clutching Ian's hand, then realized where it had 
been and whipped hers away.
	"Yeah, she did it all right!" Greg's mom added.
	Greg moaned as he awoke from his unconscious state.  "Ugh, where am I?  What 
time do I have to work today?"
	"Boy, have you missed a lot, kid," Ian said.  
	The three carried Jessi and Greg out of the store, leaving Martha to rot in her own 
private hell hole.

	Jess woke up in her own bed the next day, surrounded by Greg, Marni, and Ian.
	"Whoa, guys, what are you doing here?  I had the strangest dream last night, and 
you, and you, and you were in it!" she said, pointing to each one in turn.  Then she 
looked at Greg.  "Greg, I'm so sorry for being a jerk and ignoring you on the phone, I'll 
give up Final Fantasy for good."
	Greg smiled.  "Well, maybe you shouldn't be that drastic, but thanks anyway, I 
accept your apology."  He reached over and hugged her.
	"You guys are disgustingly cute," Ian said.
	"Hey, you're one to talk about disgusting," Marni said.
	"Hey, who are  you anyway?" Greg asked.  In all the commotion, no one had 
introduced the two.  Ian handed Greg his business card.  It read:
	
I. M. Cumming
Private Investigator and 
Public Masturbation Specialist

	"Oh my God, that's dirty!"  Greg exclaimed.
	Everyone enjoyed a good laugh, relieved and happy that things were back to 
normal again, and that the evil Martha Stewart had finally reached her demise.  It's a 
good thing.


Author's Note

	Well, I'd like to begin by saying that I don't think this story is as good as my Wal-
Mart story, simply because I kept forcing myself to write on it instead of writing when I 
had inspiring ideas.  That aside, I think that using Martha Stewart as an evil figure is 
quite natural and altogether right.  I also happened to begin the story about 7 or 8 months 
ago, and I was in a different mood and mental place then, so there's a different feel to 
different parts of the story.
	I'd like to thank Marni, Greg, Greg's mom, and the mysterious masturbation guy 
(whoever he is) for allowing me to use their likenesses in this story.  I know it is quite a 
thing to go through being a character in one of my stories, but I think that they handled it 
all with grace and poise :)  
	I'd especially like to thank Greg because he always has time to make fun of trashy 
stores with me, and that's where all these little ideas begin.  And I do love him more than 
Final Fantasy, of course :)

Well, until next time,

Jessi  7-1-01