Student: Sir, I have a complaint. I don't believe I deserve a zero on this exam.
Professor: Neither do I, but it's the lowest grade I can give.
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Teacher: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
Parent: What's that?
Teacher: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.
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A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
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People say, "A penny for your thoughts", but, on the other hand, they say they want to give you their "two cents worth." Seems to me, somebody's making a profit on the deal.
