My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me IRONY: "Keep laughing and I'll 'give' you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about WEATHER : "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS: "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't exaggerate!!!"
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your father!"
My mother taught me about ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
THANKS MOM!
