1. You start every sentence with the words "Well, ya know, Mean Gene...",
or "Let me tell ya something..."
2. You refer to everyone you talk to as "brother".
3. Every time you see someone yawning, you get an uncontrollable ugre to thrust your fingers down their throat and screech uncontrollably.
4. Your children are named "Crippler"; "Hitman"; and "Hollywood".
5. You get hoarse on purpose so you can sound like the Macho Man.
6. You hold a wrestling tournament for an aluminum foil belt.
7. You constantly play really bad air guitar on your foil belt that you cheated to win.
8. On Halloween, you pull a Jericho and steal all the trick-or-treaters' masks and then claim them as "prizes".
9. You get kicked off the school wrestling team for chokeslamming your opponent.
10. You cried when the Giant went nWo.
11. You took bagpipe lessons just so you could play Roddy Piper's theme music.
12. You get in fights with people who say wrestling is fake.
13. You fenced in your bed, so it feels like being in a steel cage.
14. You throw your VCR away when you can't find Rick Steiner on your copy of "Gremlins".
15. Your best friend is a microphone.
16. After your parents ground you for a week, you refer to them as "heels".
17. You try to write to the admissions office at S.C.U.
18. You dress your dog up as a "Hulkamaniac".
19. You use the phrase "Too Sweet" more than 45 times daily.
20. You try to impress your friends by telling them Bobby Heenan jokes.
21. You honestly believe that "TBS" stands for "The Brain Station".
22. You think "No Holds Barred" should win an Oscar.
23. Your greatest accomplishment in life is mastering the sleeper hold.
24. You roped in your backyard and you get together with friends to throw chairs around.
25. You requested "3:16" as your new license plate.
26. You think a tirt-a-whirl looks fun.
27. You think that The Giant is a "sissy".
28. You put white-out on the faces of your action figures, and then draw black marks on their faces.
29. You give crotch chops to the opposing team during a softball game.
30. You feel sorry for jobbers.
31. You make lists like this one.