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Dedicated to Luxury on the Lam

It's Happening...

Every Mom's Concern: Protecting Your Children from Television Violence

Why my kids will never watch America’s Most Wanted    by SJO


Spent Cartridge Crafts You Can Start Right Now
Why spend all that money for a new brass lamp when all those cartridges are lying there on the bank floor? They, too, are "free money." St. Paul’s WonderMom, Sara Jane Olson shows you how easy it is. (Psssst. A little secret she’s too modest to tell… She even made her daughters’ orthodontic braces!]


Luck of the Draw?
Sara Jane Olson, upstanding, upscale St. Paul doctor’s wife finds herself arrested and accused of being some 70’s era terrorist she never heard of before. Panic-stricken, desperate, she uses her one telephone call from jail to hire an attorney – no, two attorneys. And, without explanation, she ends up with the two very same Bay Area lawyers who represented at least three of the real SLA terrorists over 2,000 miles away! "Defies the odds," say statisticians. "Uncanny, but who cares," say supporters.


I Want My Name Back!
Attempted presidential assassin, Sara Jane Moore has been rotting in jail for 25 years just because her gun accidentally went off while she was cleaning it in front of San Francisco’s Fairmont Hotel while Gerald Ford was strolling by. "I don’t mind being locked up, but now I discover that some trollop in the Midwest stole my name and is using it to sell cookbooks," says the unlucky revolutionary. "I’m mad."


Mad Money
We’re not saying you are, but let’s pretend you were one of four bank robber who robbed a bank in, say April 1975. Carmichael, California – just for the sake of argument. And say, after expenses, you netted $15,247. And say you invested in Microsoft…


DISCLAIMER

Safehouse Beautiful, Anarchist Cookbook2 and There's a Nail in My Soup are satire. Even the objects of satire are entitled to a fair trial. We want the objects of satire to have a fair trial. We've wanted it for 24 years.

.  .  .

In the meantime,

We're Not Stupid

You won't be either if you read Lektrik Press & Soliah.com everyday


YOUR LETTERS


Safehouse Beautiful
in the News

St. Paul Pioneer Press

Los Angeles Times

Los Angeles Times

 

 

 

There Goes the Neighborhood
  The Symbionese Liberation Army safehouse has come to St. Paul – far from its humble beginnings on W Street in Sacramento, California. Aside from an abundance of banks and a large, gullible, amoral jury pool, why did the SLA pick the Twin Cities? Terrorist emeritus Kathleen Soliah takes us on a tour of the tony tudor, with its state-of-the-art LAPD-proof fire sprinkler system and gun-cabinet space galore.   

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  "Sure, it’s roomier," says a wistful Kathy. "Instead of a one-getaway-car garage, I have a two; instead of flushing evidence down one toilet, I can use three. But, deep down inside, it hasn’t changed me. I’m still the same person I always was."

You tell’em, girl.

 


Forgiving Yourself

Face it, guilt is for losers. But if you find yourself coming down with a case of those bourgeois blues, just practice this 10-minute Minnehogwash Meditation and you’ll put the self back in your self-esteem in no time at all…

It’s not my fault….  Hey, that’s their problem….  It's not like she was going to live forever...  I’ve already suffered enough…

There... don't you feel better?

 


Will the Real Me Stand Up?

Face it. Three weeks out of the month, everyone thinks you’re Martha Stewart. It’s that Eric Rudolph week that’s so hard to get through. This issue of Safehouse Beautiful has some explosive new ideas for relieving the tension and blowing off steam – and, of course, not getting caught.

 


Bomb appetite!
The SLA cookbook is finally here...

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The critics have nothing but praise for   There's a Nail in my Soup...

Bomb appetite!  -- The New York Times

I wish I'd known about that habaneros and diesel fuel thing she does...  -- Tim McVeigh

My sources tell me that Clinton traded two of these secret recipes to the Red Chinese for campaign funds  -- Matt Drudge

Look at these explosive favorites...

Jail House Hotdish   Tuna fish and a metal file never tasted so good...

Death-to-the-Fascist-Insect-that-Preys-on-
the-Life-of-the-People Jello Salad   Lime gelatin, C4 and shredded carrots that will blow the wheels off a HumVee...

And the SLA's most famous specialty...

 

Pigs in a Blanket

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If terrorism is your cup of tea, these field-tested, kitchen-to-undercarriage recipes will make your mouth water.

 


When those unexpected guests drop in . . . .

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. . . . do what we do

T A K E   O U T


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