One of the best in-your-face exploding-
Third-World-country movies ever made, but strangely underrated.
It should have made an action star of Dolph Lundgren of Rocky 4, who has a
bodybuilder's physique that looks better than Arnold's in his
prime, and pronounces all 20 of his dialogue words correctly. The
Swede with tree-trunk legs plays a KGB special agent sent to
Africa to blow the head off a kindly old black revolutionary in a
dashiki. But on the way down he beats up 60 fellow Russkies in a
bar so they'll throw him in jail and he can make friends with
Kunta Kinte Kullunda or something like that, who's the kindly old
black revolutionary's best friend. They bust out of there with M.
Emmet Walsh, the sleaziest man working in drive-in movies--a
perfect representative of the American media--and end up dodging
one of those giant guided-missile attack-copter gunships that's
floating around the countryside dropping nerve gas on women and
children and machine-gunning villages and killing the zebras.
Dolph ALMOST manages to stab the kindly old black guy, but he
gets captured and left to the mercy of this goon-face Cuban
torturer who enjoys sticking two-foot-long steel needles into
various parts of Dolph's body and then grinning a lot. Of course,
Dolph is forced to go out in the desert and be trained by a
Bushman to let people carve insect designs on his chest, and
then--can we have a little "Rocky" music here?"--let's kick hiney
for the Third World, how about it? 
Two breasts (Dolph's).
© 2000 Joe Bob Briggs. All Rights
Reserved. Not an AOL Time-Warner Company in this lifetime.
"Red Scorpion" is available on video and on DVD