Monstervision's Joe Bob Briggs Looks At

Cannonball Run 2 (1984)

(From Joe Bob's Ultimate B Movie Guide)
Starring every "Tonight Show" guest for the previous 20 years, EXCEPT Farrah Fawcett, who refused to do the sequel, but including Sammy Davis Jr., Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Dean Martin, Sid Caesar, Tim Conway, Don Knotts, Arte Johnson, George "Goober" Lindsey, Joe Theismann (!), Mel Tillis, and a few porkchops who were hanging around Hollywood in halter tops when they started the camera, plus a whole lot of twisted metal. Dino checks into the Dunes Hotel and Sammy hangs outside Dean's 18th-story hotel window in one of those hilarious Rat Pack scenes, then Dean tells a joke: "My liver died last year." Then Telly Savalas shows up and slaps Charles Nelson Reilly's glasses off. Then Susan Anton and Catherine Bach oil up their skin and go around stealing cars by exposing parts of their jumpsuits. Big Frank himself shows up, looking about 40 pounds overweight, and then... Jackie Chan! Mr. Kung Fu 1982. The new Bruce Lee. The only thing better than Jackie Chan's kung fu in this flick is the scene where Goober fights with a monkey. Unless it's the part where the pickup drives over the Firebird, or the one where the Racing Nuns go buy a six-pack and some chili dogs, not to mention the one where Sammy, Dom and Burt all dress up like women and dance to a Supremes song. But for my money the highlight is when Jackie kung-fus 12 Hell's Angels for no apparent reason. Absolutely no plot to get in the way of the story.

Two breasts.
Half pint blood.
One beast (Telly)
Two solid hours of motor vehicle chases.
Five automobile crashes.
One Marlon Brando imitation.
One levitating car (Chan's).
One underwater car (Chan's).
Great kung fu (also Chan's)
Monkey Fu.
Bimbo Fu.
Monkey driving a limo.
Four brawls.
One little old lady through a plate glass window.
One trailer house crash.
Ayrab jokes.
Japaheeno jokes.
And Sammy wears ALL his jewelry. 3 stars Joe Bob says check it out. Twice.

Joe Bob's Mailbag

Dear Joe Bob,
What are the religious implications of the drive-in? Do you perceive any theology--either latent or up front--in any of these outdoor epics you write so stirringly about?

Maybe during one or more of your drive-in evenings you've run across a movie that my readers should know about. Perhaps a possession/exorcism/demon-worship story along the lines of "Amityville Horror," or Children Of The Corn.
Is God at the drive-in?
Please advise.
John Justice
Raleigh, N.C.

Dear fellow Baptist:
Yes I do perceive some latex theology at the drive-in, but you'll have to read about it in my book in the chapter "Where Are You Parking in the Drive-In Of Life?" about the night I walked that drive-in aisle and got saved.
Course, the most religious double feature ever made was that Roman Catholic twin-bill:
I Drink Your Blood and I Eat Your Skin.

2000 Joe Bob Briggs. All Rights Reserved. Not an AOL Time-Warner Company in this lifetime.

For this and other movie reviews by the artist formerly known as the host of MonsterVision, go to Joe Bob

Cannonball Run 2 clip: Jackie Chan vs. biker gang
(click to play clip)

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