From the past that's now history...
Where Do I Stand?
One event changed me forever.
That one event I can never forget.
My thoughts are different then they were before.
I turned a corner and can never go back.
Inosence was lost.
Carefree ways are gone.
Happiness is rare.
Mostly darkness remains.
I get through the days.
It's easier than before.
More time has passed since that time.
Some days are better than others.
Is this surrvival or not.
I'm not so sure.
The dark thoughts are still around.
True happiness an illusion.
I'm not as depressed as before.
So maybe that's good.
But I'll never be the way I was before.
Things have changed forever.
I pretend to be all right for everyone.
My cover up words still exist.
There are a few who know the truth.
But even they don't know how deep it runs.
Maybe I am better.
But I don't know for sure.
Things are strange.
I'm in a cloud.
I got through the motions.
Will I ever be completely okay again.
Only time will tell.
I'm not ready to go yet.
1999
