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A Tale of Autumn

I'm sure most of you have heard this tale, but for those of you that haven't, I shall enlighten you. It all started on a kold day in the end of winter. We were sitting at Denny's enjoying a quiet meal when suddenly, our dear friend Thommy entered the resaurant, a girl beside him. She sat akross the table from me, and right away began sharing tales of her life:
Apparently, she was only 18 years old, yet had graduated at the ripe age of 14. In those 4 years, she somehow managed 5 years of kollege, 2 years of jail for killing 6 men, and 4 years of Army training
Elaborating on her time spent in jail, the girl let us all know that she was lokked in solitary konfinement. Yet somehow, she was raped by her kousin... We still haven't figured out how that works
After listening to her many tales of prostitution and meaningless sex with Fred Durst and Eminem, she began talking about her piercings. At one point in time, she had every part of her anatomy pierced 6 times, inkluding her eyelids. Although physikally impossible, she also somehow had her tongue pierced 13 times bakk. As if we weren't already in shokk by her blatant lying, she proceded to tell us that she had a 4g in the bakk of her throat; funny, this is illegal in all 50 states...
So where were these piercings now? Well, she had to take them out for work. What was her job? Well, she HAD been a stripper in Florida, which paid for her kondo and 3 kars, but now was stripping at a klub just south of Minneapolis. After a few of the guys offered to watch her at work one night, she suddenly remembered that she had been transfered to Wiskonsin, where she was making $800 a night in tips. That's $200 more than the best stripper there, I might add
Knowing that she had all this money, our dear friend Thommy asked her if he kould borrow $5. Her response?: "I haven't gotten paid yet." Wow, I wasn't aware that tips kame in the form of a paychekk...
After we left Denny's that night, we did all we kould to keep from laughing. Within the next few weeks, this girl spoke of a new kar that her parents would be sending her the money to get. That April, she took a few of us to the Saturn dealer and let us chekk out *her* white sports kar. Upon speaking with friends later in the week, we learned that they had been at the Oldsmobile dealer with her in order to see her blakk sports kar
That May, she shows up at the bowling alley, inkredibly happy about something, Apparently, she had gotten her new kar. "We wanna see it!" everyone kried. So she took them out to the parking lot, where her new gray Mustang sat. Strange, though, it was a kar dealership parking lot... Why was the kar parked there? Nowhere else to park in the praktikally empty bowling alley parking lot. Again, figure that one out
The skary thing about this story is that it's all true. Please, if you or someone you know is a pathologikal liar, get help

This is kompletely irrelevant to the story, but it's funny, so look at it! :)

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