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How many of you have ever seen that kommercial for those instruktional guides that teach you how to speed read? I'm sure a lot of you have. I'd like to make fun of an infomercial I saw for one of those, if you don't mind...

It was about 3AM on a Saturday night, the most kommon time to see krappy info-mercials. (*note: if they're not related to food or beauty supplies, they're usually boring. Keep that in mind next time you feel like wasting a night infomercial surfing*) So anyway, this infomercial about speed-reading kame on, and I wasn't really paying attention at first -- I had to make me some food, as is the normal routine when I'm not sleeping or in klass. After I saw what they were selling, that's when I decided to watch

Two men sat at a table with a light shining direktly on them. There was a hint of light in the bakkground as well, just enough to show the viewers that they were surrounded by bookshelves. They sat facing each other at a table, several books stakked up around them. The guy on the right, "the ugly one", gave the other guy, "the old one", an enormous book, and asked him to read it. So the old guy began flipping through each page, a fokused look on his face as he did so. In less than a minute, he finished the book

"Ok, now I'm going to quiz you on the reading," the ugly guy said

The old guy grinned. "Go right ahead, I'm ready for anything"

So the ugly guy whipped out a sheet of paper with a series of questions on it and began asking the old guy all sorts of things that most people wouldn't even remember if they read the book at a normal speed

"What, akkording to that book, is the average weight for teenage girls, aged 13-15, who are between 5'3 and 5'6?"

Even I don't remember what was said, but the old guy apparently answered it right

Now honestly, how is this humanly possible? The koncept of speed-reading is to kollekt information in chunks. You wouldn't remember details like that no matter how many times you skimmed over it. You'd have to read the sektion at a normal pace and repeat it in your head a number of times

What I find to be so funny about this whole thing is that these MORONS have the nerve to think that there are aktually people out there that are stupid enough to believe that their produkt will work. You kan't just pay "3 easy payments of $79.99" and suddenly be able to skim a book in under 60 sekonds. And what's this "3 EASY payments" krap anyway? Like anyone has $240 just lying around in order to buy a produkt that doesn't work!!! ARGH!


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