<xmp> <body> <script type="text/javascript"> //OwnerIQ var __oiq_pct = 50; if( __oiq_pct>=100 || Math.floor(Math.random()*100/(100-__oiq_pct)) > 0 ) { var _oiqq = _oiqq || []; _oiqq.push(['oiq_addPageBrand','Lycos']); _oiqq.push(['oiq_addPageCat','Internet > Websites']); _oiqq.push(['oiq_addPageLifecycle','Intend']); _oiqq.push(['oiq_doTag']); (function() { var oiq = document.createElement('script'); oiq.type = 'text/javascript'; oiq.async = true; oiq.src = document.location.protocol + '//px.owneriq.net/stas/s/lycosn.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(oiq, s); })(); } /////// Google Analytics var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-21402695-21']); _gaq.push(['_setDomainName', 'angelfire.com']); _gaq.push(['_setCustomVar', 1, 'member_name', 'mn/felix', 3]); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })(); ////// Lycos Initialization ///////////////////// var lycos_ad = Array(); var lycos_search_query = ""; var lycos_onload_timer; var cm_role = "live"; var cm_host = "angelfire.lycos.com"; var cm_taxid = "/memberembedded"; var angelfire_member_name = "mn/felix"; var angelfire_member_page = "mn/felix/april02.html"; var angelfire_ratings_hash = "1766327179:f9c1c1e5316ac798d1013d5bf9d6268b"; var lycos_ad_category = {"dmoz":"arts\/animation","ontarget":"&CAT=family%20and%20lifestyles&L2CAT=hobbies","find_what":"about popup window"}; var lycos_ad_remote_addr = "209.202.244.9"; var lycos_ad_www_server = "www.angelfire.lycos.com"; var edit_site_url = "www.angelfire.lycos.com/landing/landing.tmpl?utm_source=house&utm_medium=landingpage&utm_campaign=toolbarlink"; </script> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://scripts.lycos.com/catman/init.js"></script> <script type='text/javascript'> var googletag = googletag || {}; googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; (function() { var gads = document.createElement('script'); gads.async = true; gads.type = 'text/javascript'; var useSSL = 'https:' == document.location.protocol; gads.src = (useSSL ? 'https:' : 'http:') + '//www.googletagservices.com/tag/js/gpt.js'; var node = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; node.parentNode.insertBefore(gads, node); })(); </script> <script type='text/javascript'> googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.defineSlot('/95963596/ANG_300x250_dfp', [300, 250], 'div-gpt-ad-1450207484070-0').addService(googletag.pubads()); googletag.enableServices(); }); </script> <script type='text/javascript'> googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.defineSlot('/95963596/ANG_above_728x90_dfp', [728, 90], 'div-gpt-ad-1450207484070-1').addService(googletag.pubads()); googletag.enableServices(); }); </script> <script type='text/javascript'> googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.defineSlot('/95963596/ANG_below_728X90_dfp', [728, 90], 'div-gpt-ad-1450207484070-2').addService(googletag.pubads()); googletag.enableServices(); }); </script> <script type="text/javascript"> (function(isV) { if (!isV) { return; } //this.lycos_search_query = lycos_get_search_referrer(); var adMgr = new AdManager(); var lycos_prod_set = adMgr.chooseProductSet(); var slots = ["leaderboard", "leaderboard2", "toolbar_image", "toolbar_text", "smallbox", "top_promo", "footer2","slider"]; var adCat = this.lycos_ad_category; adMgr.setForcedParam('page', (adCat && adCat.dmoz) ? adCat.dmoz : 'member'); if (this.lycos_search_query) { adMgr.setForcedParam("keyword", this.lycos_search_query); } else if (adCat && adCat.find_what) { adMgr.setForcedParam('keyword', adCat.find_what); } for (var s in slots) { var slot = slots[s]; if (adMgr.isSlotAvailable(slot)) { this.lycos_ad[slot] = adMgr.getSlot(slot); } } adMgr.renderHeader(); adMgr.renderFooter(); }((function() { var w = 0, h = 0, minimumThreshold = 300; if (top == self) { return true; } if (typeof(window.innerWidth) == 'number' ) { w = window.innerWidth; h = window.innerHeight; } else if (document.documentElement && (document.documentElement.clientWidth || document.documentElement.clientHeight)) { w = document.documentElement.clientWidth; h = document.documentElement.clientHeight; } else if (document.body && (document.body.clientWidth || document.body.clientHeight)) { w = document.body.clientWidth; h = document.body.clientHeight; } return ((w > minimumThreshold) && (h > minimumThreshold)); }()))); window.onload = function() { var f = document.getElementById("lycosFooterAd"); var b = document.getElementsByTagName("body")[0]; b.appendChild(f); f.style.display = "block"; document.getElementById('lycosFooterAdiFrame').src = '/adm/ad/footerAd.iframe.html'; // Slider Injection (function() { var e = document.createElement('iframe'); e.style.border = '0'; e.style.margin = 0; e.style.display = 'block'; e.style.cssFloat = 'right'; e.style.height = '254px'; e.style.overflow = 'hidden'; e.style.padding = 0; e.style.width = '300px'; })(); // Bottom Ad Injection ( function() { var b = document.getElementsByTagName("body")[0]; var iif = document.createElement('iframe'); iif.style.border = '0'; iif.style.margin = 0; iif.style.display = 'block'; iif.style.cssFloat = 'right'; iif.style.height = '254px'; iif.style.overflow = 'hidden'; iif.style.padding = 0; iif.style.width = '300px'; iif.src = '/adm/ad/injectAd.iframe.html'; var cdiv = document.createElement('div'); cdiv.style = "width:300px;margin:10px auto;"; cdiv.appendChild( iif ); if( b ) { b.insertBefore(cdiv, b.lastChild); } })(); } </script> <style> #body .adCenterClass { margin:0 auto; display:block !important; overflow:hidden; width:100%; } #body .adCenterClass #ad_container { display:block !important; float:left; width:728px; } @media (min-width: 768px) {  #body .adCenterClass #ad_container { width: calc(100% - 372px); } } @media (min-width: 1110px) {  #body .adCenterClass #ad_container { width: calc(100% - 372px); } } </style> <div style="background:#abe6f6; border-bottom:1px solid #507a87; position:relative; z-index:9999999"> <div class="adCenterClass"> <a href="https://www.angelfire.lycos.com/" title="Angelfire.com: build your free website today!" style="display:block; float:left; width:186px; border:0"> <img src="/adm/ad/angelfire-freeAd.jpg" alt="Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!" style="display:block; border:0" /> </a> <div id="ad_container"> <script type="text/javascript">document.write(lycos_ad['leaderboard']);</script> </div> </div> </div>  <script type="text/javascript">document.write(lycos_ad['slider']);</script> <div id="lycosFooterAd" style="background:#abe6f6; border-top:1px solid #507a87; clear:both; display:none; position:relative; z-index:9999999"> <div class="adCenterClass" style="display:block!important; overflow:hidden; width:936px;"> <div id="aflinksholder" style="float:left; width:186px;"> <a href="https://www.angelfire.lycos.com/" title="Angelfire.com: build your free website today!" style="display:block; border:0"> <img src="/adm/ad/angelfire-freeAd2.jpg" alt="Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!" style="display:block; border:0" /> </a> </div> <iframe id="lycosFooterAdiFrame" style="border:0; display:block; float:left; height:96px; overflow:hidden; padding:0; width:750px"></iframe> </div> </div>  <script data-cfasync="false" language="javascript" async src="//udmserve.net/udm/img.fetch?sid=17754;tid=1;dt=6;"></script>  </xmp>

Okay so maybe this was funnier when I first read it, but I'm still posting it... I've also added one my dad kame up with bekause it's very true
HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM

1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: CHICAGO
2. One hand on wheel, one middle finger out window: NEW YORK
3. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: BOSTON
4. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double dekaf kappuccino, kradling cell phone, brikk on accelerator, gun in lap: LOS ANGELES
5. One hand on wheel, one hand on McDonald's bag, eating, a hunting rifle in the window: TEXAS
6. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: ALABAMA
7. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: FLORIDA
8. Knee on wheel, one hand holding extra large daiquiri, other hand holding Popeye's chicken, Mardi Gras beads hanging from rearview mirror, back-seat driver screaming that the potholes are spilling her cocktail: NEW ORLEANS
**Copyright: my dad
Both hands on the wheel, driving 10mph in the right lane with their blinker on bekause the exit is koming up in 15 miles and they want to get over in time: ANY SMALL TOWN IN MINNESOTA

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